Holding a grudge

by LongHairGal 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LongHairGal

    I read something recently on Reddit (not sure what thread) where a person related how some JW told them that ‘they hold a grudge’.

    This reminded me of something an old JW acquaintance said to me some years back when I related my bad experience in the religion.. So, apparently, Jehovah’s Witnesses feel they should be forgiven for ANYTHING. People should forget all about it and act like nothing happened and be charitable towards them, etc… When I read in James and Ephesians I got the sense ‘holding a grudge’ was referring to the things average people do to offend each other.. I don’t see it applying to a religion that claimed to speak for God and who engendered hateful and unchristian attitudes towards people.. I know because I experienced this.

    In addition, some people’s lives were damaged by listening to faulty teachings and interference in things that were clearly none of anybody’s business.. One case in point: them knocking worldly careers and now there are thousands of destitute JWs in senior years with nothing.

    Then in 2023 the religion does away with a century old teaching about counting hours in the ministry. Meanwhile, I got judged over this. I don’t know about anybody else, but this is not alright- not for people who sacrificed and did this.

    Yeah, I hold a passive grudge in the sense that I could never forget that this could have been a nightmare for me if I had listened to them.. Sorry, but there’s no forgiveness as far as I am concerned for an immense sin of this nature.

  • joey jojo
    joey jojo

    And always remember- 'the GB never apologises' - according to Jeffery Winder,

  • littlerockguy


    I agree. I would have also mentioned to that JW acquaintance what about the elders waiting for a certain period of time, like 6 months or a year or longer before even considering reinstating someone after being DF'd. The person DF'd may have been DF'd over something he or she may have done a long time ago. Wouldn't that be considered "holding a grudge"?


  • Phizzy

    Dearest Long Hair Gal,

    I think holding a grudge against the Org. itself is a GOOD thing, at least for me, it motivates me to continue spending time in various places on-line to counter J.W nonsense they have posted, so that people can see the errors and often lies they post, and see them for what they are.

    And I think that what the Org. itself has done to us, and is still doing to many, is UNFORGIVEABLE , why ? because they KNOW exactly what they are doing, Mind Controlling people for $$$, they KNOW they are telling Huge Lies, they KNOW the damage they do, even causing suicides, and they do not CARE ! as long as the $$$ keeps on rolling in.

  • LongHairGal


    I am glad you understand. And we are not talking about one individual here - but a large entity/corporation with an international presence.

    As long as a person is getting on with their life and fairly happy, then they can spend time online to counter the JWs damaging teachings - without harming themselves.. We have been there so we know everything. I have always felt this religion should be exposed so that the whole world knows what’s really going on there and what the fruitage is.. And I don’t consider impoverished and/or depressed people on medication to be good fruitage for any group!

  • NotFormer

    One should always bury one's grudge.


    But seriously, given the institutional level grudges held by the organisation, they are hardly leading by example. 🙄

  • jhine

    LongHairGal, l think that it's two different things . Not holding a grudge is as much to do with the effect that it has on you . Keeping hold of negative feelings can literally have a negative effect on us not just mentally but physically

    People can forgive someone for burgling them, as in let the negative feelings go. That doesn't mean that the burglar shouldn't be arrested and face the legal consequences of their actions.

    Warning people about the Watchtower and trying to stop the abusive behaviour doesn't necessarily mean holding a grudge .

    I have never been a JW but as l have become more aware of how they operate l do try to counter their teaching and make people aware that they are a cult .

    No grudge involved.

    Jan from Tam

  • TonusOH

    Yeah, I think there is a difference between forgiving and forgetting.

    In regards to the WTS, if they have not expressed contrition for their actions and attitudes of the past, I think it is fair to NOT forgive them, unless you need that for your own peace of mind (which is, I think, a valid reason to forgive). But we can't forget, or act as if they did not do these things in the past. The organization sees their past actions as "spirit-guided" and thus they see no need to apologize. Not even to those people who have suffered as a direct result of their doctrines and policies.

  • dropoffyourkeylee
    There are toxic people and toxic organizations in the world. Keeping distance from them is a matter of survival.
  • WingCommander


    Very good post. I'm 44, born and raised in this. My parents were suckered into this finally in the mid-to-late 70's. My mother already had her career in full swing. (RN, was looked down upon always as a Professional by the jealous bee-ouches and also men in the Congregations - AKA, she had brain, but was also meek)

    I have a LOT of resentment for this cult essentially ruining the first half of my life. All of my JW family passed away years ago. However, my mother actually woke up around the same time I did. (late 90's, early 2000's). So, I got to vent about things to her and tell her how bad I had it growing up. She actually apologized to me several times because of it. We got past it together in a sense.

    The grudge I have is against this evil CULT. A money-grubbing one at that, that does absolutely ZERO to help its membership out in any way, shape, or form. Even the Mormon Cult has all kinds of programs and aide to give back to it's membership. JW's are all take and zero charity. It is very striking once you realize. Their un-apologetic gal (as in Jeffery Winder's no apologies necessary in a recent video) really are a slap across the face to any JW who's been in long enough to see these changes come about. It's a giant "STFU, and get back to work, you good for nothing slaves!" attitude. Real Christ-Like attitude from the "Fine Shepherds", aye?

    Fuck these evil clowns. (I'm looking at you Lett!) They are quite frankly, the very definition given of the "Evil Slave Class" as described in the Bible. They show zero "Fruitages of the Spirit", and just as Deuteronomy states, I "have no fear of them." They're exactly where they belong; my rearview mirror!

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