Son out?

by Nantiques 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ding

    Our advice is contained in the comments above in this thread.

  • LongHairGal


    Congratulations on getting your family member back.

    If it were me, I would have a big Holiday party and invite a lot of people (neighbors and relatives) so he would not be the focus of anybody’s attention - like say at a dinner. He would just be a ‘guest’. (Of course, I would give certain people a heads-up who knew about him not to mention any religion and to act normally.) I would think somebody exiting a stifling religion that tried to limit his association would be starved to be around people who are not judging him and just observe how normal people act.. Let him mix and mingle and get a little holiday spirit. That’s how I would do it. Just an idea.

  • Nantiques

    Hi Longhairgal,

    Great idea and we would do that...except he has taken a job in a different country. I wish he lived closer, as it would be so awesome to have him together with us like the old days. I pray maybe someday.

  • Nantiques


    Well, duh to me. Sorry, I thought I was being directed to another thread somewhere. Yes, yours and TonusOH's advice was spot on. Thank you.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Sounds like things are looking up for you. I'd guess that his "reset" doesn't include JWs/Watchtower anymore. At 41 years old, he should at least be an MS, or even an elder. Your description of him (long hair & beard) tells us that he is neither. You don't mention him having any kind of family (your grandkids, etc) so I'm guessing he is still single. Celibacy isn't a lifestyle chosen by most men. The JWs more than just frown on a guy that's getting some romance outside of marriage and even look even harsher if he's gay.

    I wouldn't push him for details about the religion. Just take advantage of the renewed opportunity to connect.

  • Nantiques


    His wife was the one who pressured him into joining the WTS 20 years ago. (she a JW but wasn't baptized yet back then). He joined and they both were baptized. No children. They divorced about 10 years ago.

    No, it sure doesn't seem like JWs/Watchtower are part of his life anymore. Telltale sign...being his longish hair and beard. Plus, he seems so happy in his emails to us. Like a prisoner freed from his shackles!

    Yes, I agree. We won't mention anything about the religion. If he wants to talk about it, we are here for him.

    Thanks for your input.

  • NotFormer

    Glad to see that he is out of the Watchtower! 👍 It sounds like he is "disassociating himself by his actions" (whatever you do, don't use that phrase around him or any JWs!) He's probably trying to fade quietly.

    I hope you will see some broken bridges mended!

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