Been a while. Still read this forum from time to time, and a long time member originally since early 2000's.
Recently lost my last surviving grandparent, my great and wonderful nan. What a flood of emotions that released! It kind of makes you question your own mortality and bring it into much sharper focus. Nan was 88, smoking roll ups and dishing up no nonsense advice (she hated bull of any kind) right up until that dreadful vein in her head popped. Ahh nan. 5 days in the hospital until the inevitable. My lovely nan.
Mum called me on the 1st day from the hospital....'they want to increase her morphine....isn't that killing her off...?' No mum, they need to make her 'comfortable' (that dreaded cliched phrase) But it was true. Her life had really ended on that Monday morning. It just took until friday until everything else caught up.
What a bloody awful thing. 1928-2017. All that experience and knowledge, all those times I sat and chatted, all the sometimes, very directed advice she gave me. Sometimes I'd state something I was sure of in my 40 odd years on this planet, something I felt was well reasoned and thought out..... 'well that's bullshit..' would be the reply. Ahh nan. Gone. Poof!
The front garden gate was where I last saw my nan. We hugged, and I went to my car. I stopped turned back walked back up the path and hugged her again. 'I do love you nan'................ 'I know', she said in that sing song voice reply. That said everything, it was transmitted through that hug. I felt it. I really did.
I hope she does know.I really do. Ahhh. My lovely nan.