Death of a last Grandparent

by ScottyRex 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • ScottyRex

    Hi All

    Been a while. Still read this forum from time to time, and a long time member originally since early 2000's.

    Recently lost my last surviving grandparent, my great and wonderful nan. What a flood of emotions that released! It kind of makes you question your own mortality and bring it into much sharper focus. Nan was 88, smoking roll ups and dishing up no nonsense advice (she hated bull of any kind) right up until that dreadful vein in her head popped. Ahh nan. 5 days in the hospital until the inevitable. My lovely nan.

    Mum called me on the 1st day from the hospital....'they want to increase her morphine....isn't that killing her off...?' No mum, they need to make her 'comfortable' (that dreaded cliched phrase) But it was true. Her life had really ended on that Monday morning. It just took until friday until everything else caught up.

    What a bloody awful thing. 1928-2017. All that experience and knowledge, all those times I sat and chatted, all the sometimes, very directed advice she gave me. Sometimes I'd state something I was sure of in my 40 odd years on this planet, something I felt was well reasoned and thought out..... 'well that's bullshit..' would be the reply. Ahh nan. Gone. Poof!

    The front garden gate was where I last saw my nan. We hugged, and I went to my car. I stopped turned back walked back up the path and hugged her again. 'I do love you nan'................ 'I know', she said in that sing song voice reply. That said everything, it was transmitted through that hug. I felt it. I really did.

    I hope she does know.I really do. Ahhh. My lovely nan.


  • scratchme1010

    My condolences. Thanks for sharing.

  • dubstepped

    Sorry for your loss. Love her "well that's bullshit" fire, lol. Thanks for sharing a little of her with us. They say in some eastern cuture that a person dies twice. Once when they physically die, the second time when their name is no longer mentioned. Keep her alive through story.

  • ScottyRex

    I like that dubstepped. Thanks.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    So sorry for your loss. My 89 year old father is home on hospice. (Not much longer now.) He was never a witness, just associated enough to be disappointed in the cult's treatment of my dying mother. He never could see a difference between Joseph Smith and Pastor Russell. Smart guy. This whole hospice thing is exhausting and heart wrenching.

  • SafeAtHome

    Sorry for your loss. I have not had a grandparent since 1982 and just last year I lost the last of my aunts/uncles I was really close to. Mom, dad, and all their siblings gone now. Scary to think that my cousins and I are now the older generation! It does get easier. From day to day so many little things remind me of one of them. But as time has passed I can smile at the memory. Some of their catch phrases we used to laugh at have become part of our regular vernacular. For example, when she stayed at our house, my mom would get up from the dinner table and ask if it was to early to put her pajamas on. We'd laugh and tell her to get comfortable. Now anytime me or my husband gets into jammies before 8 PM, we say OK Peggy (my mom's name), get comfortable. Silly, but little things that bring a smile. And to anyone who has a grandparent or older aunt or uncle, talk to them at every opportunity about family history, etc. When they are gone the stories are gone and there is no one left to ask. That is the hard part, no one left to ask. As you said, all that experience and knowledge......

  • ScottyRex

    Wasa- yes its tough. My nan was never a Witness either, but mum said she had the witnesses at the door in the 50's and 60' fact right up until this year.Always saw a Watchtower in the living room. She liked the visits, the witnesses were kind.

  • flipper

    SCOTTY- My deepest condolences to you on your loss of Nan. My older folks died this last year and it is a deep pain indeed. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sincerely, Mr. Flipper

  • ScottyRex

    So true Safe- thanks for sharing that. It is like a huge edifice has crumbled, can't think how else to explain it.

    Nan always used to say we are all on a ladder going up. When you get to the top rung you fall off. Its true, but a bit disconcerting to move up that one notch closer to the top.

  • ScottyRex

    Fist bump Flipper.

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