I just don't understand why someone would do it...

by atpeacewithself 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • atpeacewithself

    Can someone please explain to me why a person who was one a JW, left, bitched and complained about them, the way they think, the things they do...and then go back to them .

    I just don't understand it ...can someone please help clarify this for me...I'm at a loss on this one.


  • minimus

    Emotional issues, loss of "friends", family. Fear of dying. Fear of MAYBE just maybe, they're wrong. Guilt.

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    They were getting something out of it the first time... we all were. Figure out what it was, and there you go.

  • JH

    Maybe the fear of being destroyed is greater than the hate they have for that religion, so they go back.

  • Utopian_Raindrops

    Atpeacewithself ,

    I Think I Can Answer This For You??Although I Am Not Sure You Will Understand.

    I Know It Is Not ?The Truth??.I Know Those Old Men Up At Bethel Are Just On A power Trip And Have Commit Many Crimes Against Humanity??..

    Yet?..Although My Mind Says?.Stay Away?..Another Part Of Me (Not My Heart So Who Knows What It Is)?.

    Keeps Making Me Want Back!!!

    It Is As Baffling To Me As It Is To You?.I Have Had The Will Power To Not Go Back?.

    But Since I Was 10?.It Was ?The Truth?..Since I Was 10 These Were My People?.

    I Thank Our Heavenly Father Everyday For My Children Because They Make It Clear They Don?t Want Back??Although My Autistic Son Who Made Meetings Apart Of His Rituals Begs For Meetings But Still Wants X-Mas?Halloween?B-Days Etc.

    Because I Am Not In The Troof I Can Not Seem To Connect To Anyone??I Have Nothing Much To Talk About Anywhere I Just Listen?.I Can?t Even E-Mail People Back?.I Have No Trust In Anyone?.

    I Was Abused As A JW?.I Have Friends Who Were Abused As JWs?.Yet Something Seems To Pull Me To Go Back?.RRrrrrr. I So Very Much Hate It.

    Garybuss Wrote In One Of His Posts About Exit Counseling?..Which I Am Sure I Desperately Need?.

    There Is A Saying 7 Times

    Makes A Habit??Being JW Was Not Just Joining A Club?.It Was Who I Was?..

    I Keep Trying To Tap Into The Me B4 The JW?s Came Into My Childhood Home??On My Own This Is A Slow Process??

    Please Everyone Who I Have Seemed Unattached With,,,,Please Forgive Me?..

    We All Heal In Our Own Ways.

    Gotta Luvz Everyone Here,


  • reboot


  • Sassy

    I can't envision ever going back, but, from talking to a friend who has been out for a while, she contemplates it for two reasons

    Misses family and old friends

    afraid Armegeddon is coming and fearful of dying

  • blondie

    Hi Utopian, stay awhile..

    It is the "abuse" phenomenon. Many abused people leave the abuser only to go back. It is incomprehensible. It happens partly because they had not yet formed a life outside the life with the abuser. Fear is a big part of it. JWs are told that bad things will happen to hem when they leave. Bad things happen to everyone but they will attribute it to God punishing them for leaving the WTS.

    Leaving an abusive relationship is a process. The process often includes periods of denial, self-blame, and endurance before women come to recognize the abuse as a pattern and to identify with other women in the same situation. This is the beginning of disengagement and recovery. Most women leave and return several times before they finally leave once and for all (264).



  • Sentinel

    They probably did have this huge hole in their heart, and didn't take the time to try and fill it with other good things in life, or figure out the big questions and doubts. They fell back into the old thinking patterns and the comfort of the familiar, out of fear and guilt.

    That happened to me, so I can relate.

  • Stacy Smith
    Stacy Smith

    My parents and I have talked about this. They feel they were very deeply brainwashed. They knew it wasn't the truth for quite awhile but couldn't get out. Even when they got out they have had serious thoughts about going back in. Their saving grace was how poorly I was treated. That has kept them out.

    So lots of reasons and brainwashing is yet another one.

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