When comes the resolution for some here?

When do you think? The most comfortable appear to me to be those who have the common decency to post a kind and thoughtful reply. I think this trait has always been in them. I'm concerned that so much anger here is showed by some individuals who like to blame it on their rough ride, how come some who may have been through the same manage to remain civil, while some others seem to have an issue with anyone that doesn't feel the hatred they do. Its nothing to do with time, I think its more a personality issue.

How long do you tolerate someones hateful remarks and use the excuse that they're still hurting. I don't think its any excuse really.

Mindchild

There are many here who will say that their anger is justified and not to be denied. I think anger is a lot like mental vomit. We need to expell it out of ourselves to be well again. It is an emotion that warns us something is harmful and we need to distance ourselves from it. However, the way you express that anger doesn't have to be uncivilized. If you were physically sick, you wouldn't consider it an option to vomit all over your friends or others would you? We therefore don't need to express our anger towards others directly and personally in here at the extent it is done.

I personally feel that if we find ourselves in a heated discussion online and start to feel anger, it might be signs that the issues we are discussing are not rationally thought out but rather are emotionally implanted with short roots, thus our Ego is sending the emotional warning that "danger lies ahead" if we follow this line of thinking. Once the anger reaches the stage of emotional flooding, then all reasoning is out the window and the endangerd meme or paradigm is safe for the time being.

Mindchild

ScoobySnax

Mind........what an intelligent reply. Stay on this forum please, you make so much sense where some others (including myself) may sometimes not.

SanFranciscoJim

How long do you tolerate someones hateful remarks and use the excuse that they're still hurting.

I certainly have my limits, although they are pretty high. There is a definite difference between having my opinions attacked, and being attacked as a person. In a forum such as this, if I feel as if I am being personally attacked, rather than my ideologies or opinions, then I will contact someone and request moderation.

A phenomenon I frequently see here is the use of "safe targets". For example, when you have an especially bad day at work, or if someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of venting your wrath at your boss or the rude driver, many people will come home and take it out on their spouse or a friend. Why? Because they do not want to get fired from their job by yelling at their boss, or they have no idea how the inconsiderate driver will react to your rage. It is human nature to release anger, but often times a "safe target" will be used -- someone who will react in a predictable manner. Using a "safe target" is often inappropriate, but you know how the other person will respond, thus making them "safe".

There are participants in these forums who use us as "safe targets". They have read our postings and know how we will react. They've seen how we interact with others. It may not be a pleasant reaction, but it will be predictable. There is a certain bizarre comfort in the predictability of misery. It's like an old ragged pair of shoes. They look awful, smell even worse, but they are very comfortable.

In these forums, the anger many have is towards the WTBTS. They are angry at the Organization for what it did personally to them, or to what it continues to do to others. The WTBTS refuses to interact with us. They shun us. They ignore our rage, which inflames us even more. Some redirect that anger at those who will not ignore them or shun them. That would be us. By our very participation on these boards, we are inviting others to contact us and interact with us. Unfortunately, some feel it is also an open invitation to use us as their "safe targets".

When tact and rational discussion fail, then it is time to ask for moderator assistance. Irrational rage has an unfortunate tendency to self-replicate, and unless a cap is put on it, it can only worsen.

lovinlife

Scoob...

I agree with you when you said

"When do you think? The most comfortable appear to me to be those who have the common decency to post a kind and thoughtful reply. I think this trait has always been in them."

IMHO, I really think that people don't change when they become witnesses and they don't change when they leave the witnesses. They are who they have chosen to be the whole time. People that become witnesses will make some behavior changes to be "approved" of. But it seems to me that the core of the person stays the same. So if they were not very nice people before being a witness, then they go back to being that person when they leave the witnesses (or in some cases, even as witnesses, they are not nice people!). If they were a nice person by nature...then after leaving, they stay that nice person.

It also seems to me that to change or improve the core of a person, good or bad, they have to work at it. Many people are at different stages of that process. That's why I try never to judge anyone...no matter what they say in their posts. There are too many factors in their lives that we don't know about that could cause them to have a certain attitude that day and who am I to judge them as a person. That's not to say that I can't have an opinion about an issue or subject they bring up.

For what it's worth, I hope every finds success in their pursuit of whatever it is they are looking for or looking to change. I once read that "success is available to anyone who can overcome his or her own shortcomings". I find this to be true for myself. I hope everyone finds success in finding their own resolutions!

........lovinlife sits and ponders what made her go off on a tangent????

cat1759

Resolution never comes when we allow others to think for us. Resolution only comes with hard work and studying on your own. Don't be fooled by those that come in sheeps clothing to carry all your problems away, they always want you to follow in their footsteps. Cathy

Phantom Stranger

Watch out for those that would mix your metaphors for you as well... :)

When comes the resolution for some here?

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