**WARNING** Remove all Hot Liquids from your Person before...

by jgnat 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • shamus
    shamus

    I am still in shock, and it's been about an hour and a half watching that. And they say that other christians are sick with how they get all emotional.

    That is the worst thing I have ever seen. And I saw Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

  • SanFranciscoJim
    SanFranciscoJim
    That is the worst thing I have ever seen. And I saw Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

    It's even worse than Reefer Madness !!

    I can't get that infantile song out of my head, either. First time in over 23 years I actually heard it. Talk about the subtleties of mind control!

  • shamus
    shamus

    I think what made it so bad was that that guy was singing in "opera" and the music was with an orchestra.... OMG, just horrible! The worst song in the world.

    You should check out Farkel's website. He is an excellent (and I do mean excellent) piano player! He combines looney-tunes with dud songs.... it is quite excellent and funny at the same time. He is really really good!

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    erm..no one was home so they are preaching to the cat?

  • SanFranciscoJim
    SanFranciscoJim
    erm..no one was home so they are preaching to the cat?

    Pioneers are now allowed to engage in "cat work" if the householder is not at home. This allows them to properly count hours while in field service. It is hoped that the cat will miraculously convey the message to the householder, thus bringing them into the "trooth".

    The Governing Body is still undecided about allowing cat baptisms in order to show an increase in the number of publishers. They are hesitant for two reasons:

    (1) "Meow" is not a sufficient response when asked the baptismal question if they will be loyal to the Organization.

    (2) Cat's don't like water.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Kitsch is the word, i believe

    SS

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    SFJ, LoL!

    Judging by the glazed look in his eyes, methinks he's just about due for another donut break.

    mmmm...glazed donuts.

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus
    The Governing Body is still undecided about allowing cat baptisms in order to show an increase in the number of publishers. They are hesitant for two reasons:

    (1) "Meow" is not a sufficient response when asked the baptismal question if they will be loyal to the Organization.

    (2) Cat's don't like water.

    Jim, this is covered in "The Future Fred Diaries", dedicated to a former poster here:

    Dear Diary,

    Sometimes things were easier in the old 21st century and sometimes they are easier now. Genetic engineering has been a somewhat remarkable development. 200 years ago I got a cat who had some of my DNA grafted in. He is literally half Fred, half cat; I call him Fredbert. He is perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation at the same level I do, and sometimes enters the holo-chatroom on my behalf; he loves to give those apostates a damned good caning! He is very good when I take him out witnessing. Not only does having your pet along create an instant icebreaker, but he is very good at the presentations at the door! The Society originally frowned on such "tampering" with life, but when they realised that such engineered pets made successful witnesses, Jehovah (oops! I mean Adonai) provided new light which allowed such pets to become Witnesses in good standing. It nearly doubled the number of Witnesses to our present 6 million.

    I attended the Galactic Assembly this year; we stopped having District Assemblies some centuries ago when we just couldn't raise the numbers to attend one. Now, all Adonai's Witnesses attend a virtual assembly at some interesting location. This year it was on Glurk. The catch-cry this year was meant to be "Still Going Strong!", but for some reason the Society settled for "Still Going!". All 6m Witnesses were there! What a glorious witness for Jehovah, er, Adonai! Trouble is, just across the street, the apostates had their own convention. All ex-JWs were there; they number about 20m, due to the fact that the exes had the anti-ageing treatments in the early 21st century when the breakthroughs occurred, whereas all the JWs from that era died out due to the old light the WBTS had about taking such treatments. It was in response to the sudden loss of JWs that the Society was provided with the new light on GE pets and also that incest was okay: no-one outside the org wanted to marry or join JWs. It is probably the reason why the name change to Adonai's Witnesses; due to their long survival and the fact that hardly anyone converts anymore, most apostates can call themselves ex-JWs, while hardly anyone can be called an ex-AW. A stroke of genius on the Society's, er Jeh..., er, Adonai's part!

    The elders (all born after the first wave of JWs died out) have wondered just how old I am. My mother and I started our anti-ageing treatments before the new light on such things changed to allow it to happen. I just said, "Birthdays are an abomination; I don't keep track of them". I also pretended to be my own grandson, which was difficult since I'm still a virgin! Fredbert, being half cat, gets away with having sex virtually all the time; I sometimes envy him!

    Well, diary, I'm exhausted from the all the excited, reverent non-applause at the Assembly; as always, Good Night!

  • avengers
    avengers

    Thanks for the laugh. I'm glad you warned about removing liquids from the vicinity.
    My coffee would have been all over my monitor.

    meow.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    This company looks like a "competitor" to the other "JW supply" companies like Madzay Color Graphics and the Stoops catalog.

    I'm sure the WT Society is just THRILLED at the dorky way their copyrighted song "From House to House" is used in the animated Service Scene.

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