Don't just "accept" that the shunning is inevitable and then let them hide behind it. Make it uncomfortable for them. Make it embarrassing. Make them have to say out loud "because I'm loveless turd of a person who choses to do what someone else wants me to rather than what is right". Make it more difficult to shun than it is to not shun and watch them turn and fight the people with the whips.
I wholeheartedly agree with this Simon, it's what I've done with my family. They try and fall back on the we are only following orders nonsense but how dare they. I won't engage with my family at funerals any more. They're only doing it for show anyway. They drop me straight afterwards. I've made it very clear that I'm disgusted with their treatment of me. Historically people who only followed orders did it because authorities threatened to torture them or torture and kill their wife and children.
What are the JWs threatening their members with? They might stop them running mics or selling that stupid rag on a street corner. Or they might even take them into a back room and threaten them with being thrown out of the membership of a pathetic little church if they speak to us. Not exactly thumb screws is it? Not going to be racked or burnt at the stake.