Jackie and Bonezz,,,,,,thanks for what you said in your post,,,,,,,all of the things you all have said are some really good ideas . Thanks for the PM's also,,,,,,there are alot of great things I can look up and things I can suggest to Melissa. I am going to tell her one day, how many people who do not even know her, are sending her warm thoughts,,,,,,,she will like to hear that I am sure.
Advice needed for a friend who has cancer.......what can I do to help her??
by LyinEyes 16 Replies latest jw friends
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myself
Dede, I know a lady who has fought breast cancer, went into remission and had it come back. Her cancer is in remission againm and it looks very hopeful for her. She keeps a positive outlook which I think is very much in her favor. She still is on chemo to boost her chances. She says they are continuing to find new ways to treat cancer. She is such a fighter.
I admire you for your stregnth, it is something your friend will be able to draw from you.
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Odrade
A good friend of mine is fighting ovarian cancer. She says it makes her feel loved when people donate time to things like race for the cure, or cancer fundraisers, in her name. Then she feels like no matter what happens with her cancer, some little part of her helped make an improvement in this world.
FWIW, I think what you are doing is wonderful. Sometimes I see people living with cancer being strong all the time for their family and friends. Having just one friend that they don't have to be tough for, that they can break down and be sad, or mad or afraid, is really a treasure. It's a treasure for you to be that friend too, even though it is hard for you.
((((dede))))
Odrade
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Mindchild
Hi Dede,
It's wonderful that you care so much about your friend and want to help her deal with this difficult situation. It is never a happy day to receive news like you did, but strangely happiness and a positive outlook might be exactly what your friend needs at a time like this. I would like to share what happened to a very close friend of mine, in her battle with breast cancer. When she discovered she had breast cancer, she took the news pretty hard, but decided to try both chemotherapy and radiation treatment. Anyone who has tried this knows it is no fun and makes you physically ill, which further discourages you. After about 4 months of treatment, she was showing almost no signs of improvement and decided to quit the treatment and just accept her fate, and die.
She quit her job, and moved in with her 80 some year old grandmother, and did nothing but sit around the house feeling sorry for herself and crying. On the second day, she went outside for awhile and found that when she tried to get back inside the house, that her grandmother had locked the door to keep her outside. She asked her why she did this, to which her grandmother told her that she couldn't tolerate being around a "loser" and that if you want to give up and die, do us both a favor and do it outside the house. My friend was pretty shocked by this, and at first thought how cruel her grandmother was, but then stopped to think about how she was right, she was a loser and had given up hope, and was just waiting to die. Something clicked the first night she slept outside on the ground behind the house, and she was determined to turn her life around and prove to her grandmother that she could be a person anyone would be proud of.
She explained her determination to change things the next morning, and once inside the house called up the hospital and arranged for the treatment program to resume. She got dressed in her very best clothing, and went down for the treatment with a huge smile on her face that day, and followed the program for another 6-7 weeks. She made an amazing recovery, and even more astonishing had no further ill effects from the chemotherapy and radiation treatment. Once she was cancer free, she decided to investigate the power of having a positive attitude and was pleased to read that sometimes just this alone seemed to be enough to change the course of dealing with serious illness.
Our immune systems are remarkable and are closely related to our emotional state of mind. If we are frightened, fearful, and thinking negatively about our chances of success, it just makes things that much tougher to beat something like cancer. Cancer after all is actually cells that have lost their identity in the body. The cellular recognition process is simply not working. It is possible in some cases for these cells to be reintegrated into normal cellular identity or to be dealt with by the immune system. Considering this, I would think the best thing you can do for your friend is to give her the encouragement to really believe she will win the battle and will use this as an opportunity to make the most of her life. Never underestimate the power of belief in ourselves.
Kind Regards,
Skipper
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oldcrowwoman
(((( LyingEyes)))
You are the Best Friend she could have.
Old Crow
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Navigator
Mindchild is quite right about the influence of our emotional and mental states on the immune system. It is extremely important that she keep a positive mental state regardless of the type of treatment she elects or even if she elects no treatment at all. There are documented cases of patients being healed by watching comedy shows or taking sugar pills (placebos). Some Physicians who specialize in this area suggest that our "bodies" are reflections of thoughts we hold about ourselves. Your being there for her will help her to feel good about herself. Remind yourself and her that she was created in the image and likeness of God and nothing has changed that.
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rocketman
Very touching thread. It seems we all either know someone with cancer or are related to someone with it, or have battled it directly. It makes me sad and scares the crap out of me at the same time.
