Letter to my brother

by funkyderek 26 Replies latest social family

• 

  funkyderek

  Thank you all for your comments and encouragement. I really appreciate it.

  Hillary,

  Often, even third party, these comments if shown to elders are normally enough to result in a DA announcment.

  I know. I considered that, but I felt that it was important that my brother knows exactly where I stand so he can make his decision based on the facts. In any case, he is the only person in my family who would shun me if I was disfellowshipped or disassociated - my mother, to her credit, opposes my brother's decision, and has made it clear that she would never shun her children.

  I think that the JW's in Ireland are far less likely to react to this though ( unless they are Brits! ) than they would be in many places.

  That's true and is probably the only reason I've never been disfellowshipped. Unfortunately, my brother's father-in-law is a Brit, an elder and a "control freak" (my brother's words) and was responsible for my father not being invited to my brother's wedding, and was probably influential in this debacle.

  JamesThomas,

  You have a point, and my writing this letter may have been a futile - even counter-productive - exercise but I tried to balance my anger with compassion and reason. Despite my anger, I made no demands, no conditions except that I need to know how I am to be treated. Perhaps there was another way, but I could see none.
• 

  JamesThomas

  Yes, you did very well.

  I am not sure there is another way. It just seems so.

  j
• 

  hillary_step

  Funky,

  That's true and is probably the only reason I've never been disfellowshipped. Unfortunately, my brother's father-in-law is a Brit, an elder and a "control freak" (my brother's words) and was responsible for my father not being invited to my brother's wedding, and was probably influential in this debacle.

  What a shame. Many of the Brits who swamped the Republic in the 70's and bought a sort theocratic colonialism with them were actually quite potty. In large city congregations in the UK and Germany etc. they were eaten for breakfast, but in Ireland many were given a credibility due to their 'serve where the need is greater' status, that went way beyond their worth. Some of them were fine people and tried hard to become part of the community, many become little despots, making miniature cults of their little congregations. The most lunatic congregation ever had to be one on the South Coast, Youghal. It was made up of one of the most dysfunctional collection of loonies ever to share a pot of tea.

  Keep well - HS
• 

  DanTheMan

  Excellent letter Derek.

  You're obviously a pretty intelligent guy, if your brother has half of your brains hopefully someday he will see shunning for what it truly is - inhumane emotional blackmail.

  Judging from the recent study articles posted on this board by Blondie and others, the Watchtower is spewing out the same old loyalty, urgency crap more than ever. I hope that JW's like your brother are getting sick of it, even if they aren't ready to admit it.
• 

  willyloman

  The above is harsher than I intended, disjointed and inelegant

  Not so. Your letter is really beautiful.
• 

  talesin

  {{{funkyderek}}}

  well done! good luck!

  tal
• 

  marriedtodamob

  Derek, I am unabashedly moved by your extremely articulate, thoughful and thought provoking missive. It makes me think of the apostle's letters to the young churches in the New Testament. With that image in your mind, remember that a letter can be a very powerful thing! It can in fact change history-our family history. I agree with J that there must be some "other" way to reach him, but when you are dealing with a person who has a completely different world view than your own, it is difficult to know how to even attempt such a thing. I try often to reach my JW husband, but end up spewing too much of my own anger and hurt, and at the exact moment that occurs, I know he stops listening, and any credibility or truth in my arguement vanishes. Like the Father and the Prodigal Son, your arms are open wide waiting, watching and hoping with a heart full of unconditional love. I pray that you will courageously maintain this Godly attitude and example for your brother and the rest of your family.

  mobbie
• 

  Elsewhere

  I have come to the realization that the less I have to do with my JW family the happier I am.

  If they want to shun me because they have been unable to force their religion on me, then they can go fck themselves.
• 

  outnfree

  ((((funky d)))))

  My heart ached to read your letter. I, too, disagree that it was inelegant. Nor was it disjointed. You spoke well, you spoke true. Sometimes that is all that one can do. I hope it touched a chord and the dissonance in your family changes to harmony some day soon.

  out
• 

  gumby

  Funkyman.......by far one of my favorite posters,

  Well done ....as always!

  (Let?s not pretend that it?s because he committed adultery over two decades ago.) That you took this action shortly after an article appeared in the Kingdom Ministry (August 2002) on how to treat disfellowshipped relatives certainly seems more than a coincidence.

  Perhaps you planted a seed on how much witnesses are controlled.

  How very sad for a father to have the companionship of a son.......all the sudden stop. Did your brother even have the decency to explain to your dad why he cut him off? God my blood boils, when I read of these sick pathetic wrinkled sick bastard old freakin men, who can cause this type of havoc on families......and get away with it.

  I have been wondering myself lately of the productiveness, of playing the nice guy and being pacifistic in these dub situations. You spoke some strong words........and Perhaps it's BETTER than pussyfootin around. We'll see what happens perhaps.

  Thanks for sharing this with your friends dude......your a great guy.

  Gumby