by woodland 25 Replies latest jw experiences
I feel that my education was stunted due to the JW belief that education is not important. As a result I have not been able to follow my dreams, or follow the career I?m sure I was put on this earth to do.
Does anyone else feel this way? And, if so, what have you done about it since leaving?
Hi Woodland...Welcome!
Sorry that you feel this way, many here can relate to how you feel.
Personally, I do feel as you do. Some of what I've missed cannot be 'made up for' - they are lost....missed opportunities.
I really believe though..... in never say never .........
I wish you well!
Woodland,
I think this is a sore subject for many.
Personally, I have tried to recapture some of those "lost" years and experiences. I would like to think that it is never too late.
In my case, I was raised in the Truth, and started to fade at age 21, when I decided that I wanted to study architecture and go to college. By the time college ended 5 years later, I was 26 and was fully OUT the door. ( RUN ! RUN! and don't look back!) In that sense, I am lucky to have accomplished that much. The real test came later when I tried to assimilate myself in the real world; not so easy.
I realized that I had grown up in an insulated vacuum, of sorts; a rarified sheltered world of Pioneering, ministerial servant responsibilities and Eldership as the ultimate goal. This was all "out the window" and I was not able to cope with the real world and real responsiblities. It took 2 years of therapy and deprogramming to ease the transition; and several more years for the fog to lift. I had th ehelp of many good "worldly" friends.
There are others who woke up years later, and blame their devotion to the "Truth" of robbing them of a direction in life. I cannot blame them for feeling bitter or resentful, I would feel the same. But life goes on and is worth living and pursuing ( at any age) a dream. An open mind and willingness to proceed is all that is required....
Frank
I wanted to go to University, but my parents were having none of it. They obviously thought sending me to University would lure me out of the religion. I don?t think they realised that one of the reasons I left was because they wouldn?t let me go? isn?t it ironic!!!
Frank, I must say, in that picture you (if it is you) look like Bono?
Woodland,
If your profile is correct and you are in your mid-twenties, you certainly still have every opportunity to pursue the career you want.
What do you want to do?
hi woodland,
Yes, the picture is me ( who is Bono?) and is within the past year.
My parents, although JWs, and dad was an Elder, did encourage me to higher education, if that is what I wanted. Dad was an Engineer, and he took some criticisizm from the local Elders for his encouragement of Higher Education. I had a particularly hard time due to the fact that I was a full time pioneer since age 17. I have come to the conclusion at this phase of my life ( 47 and counting) that education is very valuable at any age, and I continue to try and increase my continuing education. The real problem is that as we get older and our "real" responsiblities, like paying a mortgage and raising a family, tend to dominate our lives and pursuing an education and a career becomes that much harder. I know many who are living through this and it is not easy. I fault the JW belief for not promoting education; obviously they know they will lose much of the following . As one person told me early on" this is not a religion for inteligent people who can think for themselves". And I apologize to any one posting here who may be offended by that comment, but in my experience there is truth in that statement.
Frank
Woodland I left the borg when I was 35. And went back to school - college and university. It was well worth it. I will never regain some of those lost years but my future does not need to forever meaningless because of the borg
Got a dream? Go for it. I am doing exactly what I love and it was well worth it.
Malcolm Forbes said: "It is only too late when you are dead."
I went back to school in my 30's and paid my own way. There is a myth in the US that parents are obligated to pay their children's college tuition. Many non-JW young people realize that if they want an education, they will have to find the money to do it, grants, scholarships (for older people too), loans, working.
Woodland, don't concentrate on the past and what might have been. I posted this on another thread.
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly. The Buddha
Blondie
I know I can't make up for lost time regarding education. I remember even in high school (late 70s) I was discouraged from taking business courses because it was not a place for a woman to work. We were to focus on how to be a good wife or how to increase our ministry. There was no way I could have gone to college. When I finally did go back for schooling in the late 80s, it felt too late for a college education, so I only went for technical training. Even when I was working for a great company who sponsored continued education, I thought working full time and taking on college course would take ten years. Who had ten years? Armeggedon was coming. One must think simple and be satisfied if you had enough in life. So ten years later now, we are still here and I could have gotten my degree. Oh well.
Think of those lost years as a reminder of your duty to yourself to pursue your dreams. Let it empower you and drive you.
I dropped out of high school and the truth around 17, and because of my JW upbringing i wasn't prepared to deal with the real world. I had a nervous breakdown. I did meaningless jobs and tried to get "back in the truth" but for the most part was very depressed. I had no support nor belief in myself. Since everything was supposed to be about "bringing glory to God's name" there was no time to really think about what I WANTED out of life. And with nothing but pathetic JW social skills to boot, i was screwed.
So, i slowly began the process of rebuilding myself. I went to college. Got a job at Microsoft. Started taking acting classes at a community college. Learn to speak Russian. I'm now doing theatre work and independent films, including directing my own (www.mcbeerbong.com).
I've found my passion in life at the ripe old age of 27. Which is late for some, but in all reality, it's never to late to take back your life. I wish i could've been an athlete, specifically a football player. Since i'm a little too old for that, I just bodybuild. It works for me.
If you still feel sorry for yourself, think of the poor sons-of-bitches still stuck going to meetings.
