Are you responsible for others?

SpiceItUp

The same reason that Ray Franz wrote his book got me thinking. He mentioned that if you saw someone doing something harmful in some way would you warn them or would you let them be completely responsible for themselves. Say that they don?t realize what they are doing is harming them or unhealthy, would you try to take steps to help them? Do we have a moral responsibility to help others that we see are hurting themselves whether it be physical, emotional, mental or psychologically? Or do we just walk by with the attitude that?s their life and who are we to butt in? What if they are not in a position to help them or need an unbiased 3rd party point of view? How many times have you seen something that didn?t set right with you and you had the power to perhaps make a difference but you didn?t? What happened? Do you regret that choice? Or if you did stick your nose ?in their business? was it helpful and appreciated? What about ?interventions?? Whether it?s someone with a drug, alcohol, abuse, depression or other issue that should be helped by a professional? Would you feel right stepping up and taking some responsibility? What if there was someone else who was at stake but didn?t know it? Would you step in if only to help that person? Sometimes I see people that appear to need this extra help but I?m scared to step in because I think maybe I don?t really have the answers and I might do more harm than good. But then I always get that nagging feeling of ?what if?. For me it has happened both ways. I have stuck my helping hand where it wasn?t supposed to be and have gotten good and bad results. How do you know when you should get involved? Thanks for any suggestions.

Phantom Stranger

You don't. You have to try to balance holding others capable and personally making a difference. You have to acknowledge that you will err...and be OK with that.

Jim_TX

Jo,

That's a tough question. I would have to say 'It depends'.

For example, if you see some child running out into the street (especially with cars coming) - you would certainly want to grab the child from the ensuing danger.

However, he/she - may not appreciate it, but their parents certainly should (unless they told them to go play in the street).

Likewise, if you see someone smoking - or drinking in excess - you may feel that you have the obligation to tell them that this sort of behaviour is detrimental to their ultimate health. More than likely though, they won't appreciate your 'butting in', and will tell you so.

Not sure there is a clear 'answer' to this question.

Regards,

Jim TX

frenchbabyface

Jim TX : Not sure there is a clear 'answer' to this question.

I agree ...

Maverick

I have been guilty of stepping in and trying to "help" when it was not asked for. Every time I did this it backfired!

Now I help only when I can do so without putting myself at risk. I will give money or other material aid. If I can do it without the person even knowing that is even better. But I offer no advice or take no action unless asked. And even then I reserve the right to refuse without having to justify why. My daughter is the only exception to this. And even then I am very careful how I do it. Even employees need to be adults and figure life out! Maverick

DFWnonJW

For example, if you see some child running out into the street (especially with cars coming) - you would certainly want to grab the child from the ensuing danger.

True enough. An uncle of mine one time saw a big box in the middle of the road while he driving along. He thought to himself there might be a kid playing inside so he stopped to check (some might have just hit it for the hell of it). Sure enough there was a small child inside so he got it out and went up to the nearest house and knocked on the door. When he tried to explain what happened he got balsted for disturbing the woman (and she was in fact the childs mother). Unreal but it happens.

Country_Woman

It depends, I think that I would give my opinion/ a warning, when they are obvious unknowing, what the other party is doing afterwards is their business.
When they WANT my more substantial help I will give it. (but I prefer to be 'a ship that pass in the night)

Special K

I guess I'm just the jump in kind of person..

There are too many people who sit on their duff and do nothing.. from my perspective.

Most times it's circumstantial jumping in...

true example:

the other day I went to pick up my older kids from school. My older son runs out to the vehicle and tells me another kids is really getting a beating in the school yard..

I quickly, drive my vehicle ahead and scan the school yard and see what is happenning.. The one older guy has a younger kid down and is just smashing him over and over again in the head..with his fist.

Do I do something... Darn right I do.

I start screaming out of my vehicle window.. over and over again to KNOCK IT OFF !! KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW !!.... as I quickly pull my vehicle over and shove it into park... and then proceed to run on foot across the street and into the playground... at the same time.. I see the school principle starting to run from the school that is a bit of a distance away...

Did my screaming at the kid who is beating this other guy do any good.. Your darn right it did.. He yelled to his buddies that they better get out of there.. as I was screaming out the vehicle window and then they all took off.

I waited for the principle to arrive and take care of the young boy, whose face was already starting to swell, and was still lying on the ground. I explained to the principal who I was and that I was "the screaming at the bad guy.. mother from the vehicle across the street.

Gee's.. In my opinion you have to step in sometimes.. you have to make a difference.

And that is what my kids learned that day.. don't endanger your life if the bad guy had a knife or gun.. but when you can step into something like this and see that it is stopped or call for help.. and I was very proud of my son for running to me for help.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another time a got a call from a friend I knew who was talking of suicide.. When she called me and told me about her fantasy of using the guns in the house...Did I step in?

Yeah,, I did .. I called the police who met me at the house and had all fire arms removed from the house and drove her to the hospital.. set up a support system. called her secretary and had them cancel all her patients and set up a 24 hour support of friends to stay with her in shifts for awhile until things got more stable.

Like I said .. I'm just a jump in kind of person.

Responsible for someone is a big job, but has it's rewards when it is appreciated.

There is temporary responsiblity like the fight in the school yard kind of thing..

There is longer responsiblity like the friend who wanted to commit suicide.

Sometimes ones life is not in a place to help someone over a long period of time.. then you need to call the right people. The principal, the police, the friends doctor, the friends of the friend who is in trouble emotionally. Connect and make things happen for the betterment of the person.

sincerely

Special K

SpiceItUp

Thanks for the observations everyone....brought up a few points I hadn't really thought of.

Are you responsible for others?

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