Apologizing to my non-JW friends

by pale.emperor 10 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pale.emperor

    Yesterday i bumped into an old friend from my last workplace. He's a gay man and we were good friends along with a woman from the same office. Although i was a JW at the time, i would go for the occasional after work drinks with them, Blackpool funfair every year and the occasional cinema or theater. Unfortunately, despite this, i didn't see them as much as "normal" friends would. I couldn't let my fellow JW's know about them.

    So i seen him yesterday and ended up going for a drink with him. We had a great evening laughing and catching up. He heard i'd left the JW's and asked me over for xmas with his partner.

    I apologized to him for some of the crazy things i said and spouted to him while i was "in". I was never mean to him (or any of my non JW friends for that matter) but i did parrot what WT mags said about homosexuality being a sin, and not born that way etc.

    His reply: "Well i just thought you were a bit mad;) Some of my friends are. But i wouldnt change you for the world. Hey-ho we move on."

    Can imagine any witness reacting like that.

  • jambon1

    The whole witness outlook on life, including friends, acquaintances & family is entirely based on conditions.

  • just fine
    just fine

    That has been my experience as well. "Worldly" people are very understanding, forgiving, and less judgemental.

  • Chook

    I actually rang a worldly friend and apologised after 27 years , for putting religion above friendship.

  • scratchme1010

    On behalf of the entire LGBT community, thank you.

  • kairos

    It's been my experience that ALL of my non-JW friends and family were supportive and considerate when I explained I was under cult mind control. My non-JW friends have been with me this whole time. The JWs were quick to discard me when I broke loyalty to WT.

  • Heartsafire

    It is so good to hear you getting on these days, Pale E!

  • Xanthippe

    PE thanks for this. It's good to hear about you meeting up again with friends now you're out but also a reminder to me that friends don't give up on us. A friend of mine has been a bit odd this year, she's not telling me what's going on but I've just stopped asking and given her the space she wants. We got back together a few weeks ago, she came round for dinner. This is what normal friendships are like isn't it, up and down but we don't give up on them.

  • pale.emperor
    This is what normal friendships are like isn't it, up and down but we don't give up on them.

    You're right Xanthippe. It's still strange to me that real friends (those outside the cult) can just move on from any negative air we might have had. That never happens with the JW's. No matter what they print in their mags about forgiveness.

  • rebelfighter

    Yes, us wordly people do forgive and forget alot. We also let comments roll right on by.

    I will give you an example of a comment the "Elder" made to me numerous times over the 5 years. I am involved very heavily with the Masonic community so he would say "the way I read the Bible the Masonic community is part of the Babylon blah blah blah. .." well whenever he started this I just tuned him out.

    Now when we got down to our one and only fight after he gave me that booklet on Families. I made the comment look how you get such bad headaches every time you go to the KH, maybe if you cut back on the amount of time you spent there you would not be sick all the time.

    His comment back to me was "those are my brothers you just insulted".

    I thought to myself, did not say it to him but you insulted my brothers and sisters HOW many times with your snide remake and I left it roll right over. Now who has the broader stronger shoulders.

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