Can we ever get our loved ones out?

by SnakesInTheTower 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad

    ...Here is the hope!

  • snakeface

    My personal opinion is, don't worry about anyone who is still in. Just get out. Walk away and do not look back. Be like Lot leaving Sodom - run.The relatives who stay in do not love you. They love the organization more than they love you.

  • ToesUp

    Our older jw family is better off in the Borg. Leaving would destroy EVERYTHING the have. They already have crap for life, so leaving would just add to the crap they already have.

    They would have NO WHERE to go on Thursday or Sunday and they have zero social circle outside of the WT. None still in have too much involvement with anyone at their jobs or they don't work at all.

    Leaving their "JW comfort zone" would be detrimental. We have decided to just leave them alone and when we speak to them, it is just small talk. It's just better this way.

  • neverendingjourney

    It's an interesting thought experiment. If I could snap my fingers and have my elderly parents magically wake up, would I do so?

    Part of me thinks the humane thing to do would be to allow them to continue with their comforting delusion. Another part of me thinks that if I were in their shoes, I'd like to be confronted with the truth, consequences be damned. But I can't get in their heads and determine what their preference would be.

    For me, it took roughly ten years before I fully came to terms with leaving the JWs and felt like I'd reached some version of being "normal." They probably don't have that much time left.

    At the end of the day, though, it's just that, a thought experiment. You can chip away at it, but they have to want it themselves. There were multiple conversations that I had along the way that chipped away at the foundation of my JW faith, but I had to connect the dots myself. Nobody woke me up.

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Even if I had NO one, I just could not take their crap!

  • AllTimeJeff

    Hey there Snakes... Long time...

    My only thought today is, it has to be about them as much as it is about us. Life isn't fair.

    My dad still has a foot in. I imagine it gives him something social to do. Beyond that, if I proved that he is wrong, he is all alone, without the Borg, who does he have?

    I would say me, but, that isn't happening. He keeps a fairly robust distance.

    Our parents and loved ones still in have dependency issues, and the reward for leaving (value) must exceed the cost for them.

    It's ok to leave behind people we have loved, if that is the choice you make. It's ok to be happy without believing JW relatives.

    It's ok to forge ahead, and decide to be happy with the new life we choose to have.

    Snakes, for you, because I have followed you from the beginning, I want you to get what you want, and I hope you get it. :)

  • Crazyguy

    I have come to the conclusion that one has to become a victim of the cult to finally wake up. Even people that have experience a bunch of different hypocrisy’s before they wake often are still a victim. The other thought is those that are considered Mavericks or rebels will often wake up before others or just plain leave because they can’t handle the rules etc.

    I and I’m betting most of you fall into these same categories. We had a hard time towing the line maybe something about the policies didn’t set well with you, then you became a victim in one way or another. Someone mistreated, or you were lied to or wrongly dfd in your opinion etc.

    In my case I was already showing a rebellious spirit years before I woke up when I took a dfd young mother into my home. Then years later under a lot of stress what helped to wake me , I heard Lett admit they lied about 1975. Realizing what I heard and already having doubts do to the stress I was under I realized I was a victim of their lies. Then I became more of a victim when I voiced my concerns and some doubts.

    So i think someone has to be of a similar personality and then be victimized if not if their happy they’ll never wake up. And if their not happy and not to much of a rebel maverick then they’ll stay even if they continue to be victimized unless outright dfd. The dfding process is so extreme that this will help non Maverick types also to wake up. Of course there always and exception to the rule, And it just my opinion. But there it is and that’s why they call me crazy.

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