apartment life

by MrMoe 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  nilfun

  "Hell is other people."

  - Jean-Paul Sartre
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  La Capra

  Be careful what you wish for. I cast a "little move out spell" on the family who lived in the condo next to mine. Theirs was a small two bedroom (under 700 square feet), but the number living there tended to hover around nine people (no joking). Well within two months they moved, but the woman who moved in with her teenaged son was a horrid, evil woman. She had the mouth of rap artist, and was emotionally and physically abusive of her son. Since her son attended the school where I taught (but was not one of my students), I was a "mandated reporter." Which meant I HAD to contact child protective services every time something happened, or risk heavy fines, losing my teaching license, and losing my job!!! I lived with this for about a year. It was what finally prompted me to arrange my finances so I could get into a single family structure. Love the privacy, hate the maintenance....Shoshana
• 

  Odrade

  Oh man, apartments. Several years back, when I was still single, I rented this little "efficiency" apartment-which basically meant it had a seperate bedroom, but the "kitchen" was on one end of the living room. The whole apartment was about 450 sq.ft. in downtown. The building was sandwiched between two industrial warehouses, with all the accompanying truck traffic. I lived on the backside of the building though, and looked out at a groomed sports field. (There, that should be enough info for dubbie lurkers to ID me. Wait, there's more...)

  Neighbors. One of my neighbors was a goldminer. No joke. He was also a little cracked, and would come hang out on my porch and read my horoscope. He asked my birthdate/time, and did my entire chart. He was in love with my cat, and called her Ms. Thang With the High Heel Shoes. He dressed in camoflauge in the evening, and would do "reconnaisance missions" around the building every night between 2 and 3 am. He carried night-vision binoculars, and weapons in case he came across any "undesirables" dealing drugs in the neighboring field.

  I had some really nice neighbors too, a lesbian couple who lived downstairs. They tore out the carpet when they moved into their apartment and discovered beautiful hardwood floors, which they refinished. The girlfriend of the lead singer for Pink Martini also lived in the building, so the band would come hang out in our little courtyard (when they were getting along.) There was another sweetheart of a girl that I worked with who lived there too.

  Eventually though, we were all driven out of the building (except for reconnaisance mission guy) by the arrival of P** and J**. P** moved in first. She was about 19, and had a little boy about a year old. They rented the tiny studio on the side of the building. It was less than 200 sq.ft. P** did nothing but stand in the doorway and yell at her boy. Sometimes she "spanked" him. I could hear the blows from inside my apartment, with the TV on. After a few months, J** moved in with her. They liked to scream a lot, and hit each other a lot. They also decided they didn't like to wear clothing. P*** was about 6'2", and weighed about 400lbs. J** was about 6'4" and probably pushed 450. Jr was 2, about 3-1/2 ft tall already, and probably weighed close to 60 lbs. All those people in 200 sq. ft. Naked. As the day they were born. With the door open. Did I mention the giant picture window that made up the front wall of their apartment? Oh yeah. Sometimes they would wrap a small (very small) towel around the vital parts and go sit in the courtyard. Once they had a barbeque out there, wearing a sheet.

  Time passed. The little studio acquired: a tank of goldfish, a bunny, three kittens, several guinea pigs, a hamster who lived in a box covered with duct tape, and a dog. In 200 sq. ft. Summer came, so did the cockroaches. I'm really not sure what happened after that... I moved. But that's another story...

  Odrade
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Odrade,

  That is a captivating story. I could picture the whole thing in my mind. Too bad no one called the police for an indecent exposure charge on such a charming family. Sounds like they needed to move to that island once mentioned in Awake! The one where everyone was really huge and they would beat the *ahem* bubbles out of the king after one of their feasts. Anyone remember that one? Not that I have anything against huge people. I am not super thin myself but I do cover me up with clothes when I have my blinds open or for public appearances.

  Heather S. II

  PS

  A thought: You own a building and you want all the tenants to move.You hire P** and J** to move in, behave in a bizzare fashion, run everybody but self made commando off. But how to get rid of commando?? Maybe you better give him the building and write it off on your taxes?
• 

  Badger

  Nilfun: Hey! No fair! I steal that quote!

  Moe: You can stay next to MY apartment...I'm quieter...
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  Odrade

  Well, one of the times I called CPS, the police showed up, and they were all standing around naked with animal feces on the floor. (I was peeking out my window for the show.) Anyways, a young cop showed up for the call. He couldn't have been more than 23 or so, and only about 5'10" in his fancy police boots, maybe 170lbs. He got quite an eyeful, and it was clear to him he wasn't going to be "wrastling" anyone to the ground. HA. The little boy was running around dragging one of the pets in a huge blanket, probably covered up any beating marks. That cop couldn't get out of there fast enough. Social services did come around a few times, but I guess they have bigger fish to fry. (Well, more important anyways. .)

  O
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  luna

  OMG...that's so funny, Odrade. Cracking up.

  Why don't you tell everybody about the time you moved....old people.....etc

  heheh
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  Odrade

  ummm... THAT story is NOT for public consumption.

  Odrade
• 

  starfish422

  All of the above = good reasons why starfish & hubby and their son all sleep with a loud fan in their room(s) every single night.