The true cost of being raised as a witness

by stuckinarut2 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • stuckinarut2

    How do you view your upbringing as a witness?

    Most of us who were raised as witnesses would appreciate that some aspects of our upbringing were ok. A foundation and measure of stability came with it.

    But, it struck me too, that we also lost so very much! AND we lost a lot of POTENTIAL.

    By this I mean, we need to look at not just what we lost, or what was deprived of us, but what that ended up costing us as adults into the future.

    If I take $10 from you, you have lost just $10.

    BUT, if you were going to use that $10 to buy something that would end up earning you $1000, then I actually took $1000 from you!

    I believe it is the same with being raised as a witness. The way we were all discouraged from higher education for example, or discouraged from charity work, or community social activities such as team sports, ended up costing us all MUCH more in the end.


  • ballistic

    When you first leave the witnesses, you may like to put a figure on things like that, yes the impact seems huge.

    As you focus out, you might see that some kids your age were drinking beer instead of knocking doors, not doing anything productive at all. And you'll realise you were learning something completely different, some personality traits that were difficult but ultimately the most useful on your life course.

    And as you get older and focus out still further, you might realise when you look inside yourself, that you create your entire universe, and take the ultimate responsibility for everything, hold no hurt and no malice.

  • Ucantnome

    In the late 1960's my parents decided they wanted to have a simpler life and devote more time to their sacred service. So they sold up and moved. They rented a house and my mother and father devoted more time to the field service, study, and raising two children to be regular pioneers. My father was an elder and temporary pioneered and so did my mother.

    The house they sold is now valued at £1.2 million the flat they own now is worth about 10% of that, our inheritance.

    In the late 1980's I had a man from the bank come to my house to discuss insurances and he talked for along time about pensions. I declined and after he left I chatted with my parents who were visiting regarding how I would not need a pension based on our faith in God and message we preached. Over 10 years later I had left JW and I started a pension. The financial adviser whilst setting it up noticed that I had been offered one in the years previous and said if I had started it then it would be worth double when I take it.

    These are two examples of how my beliefs as a JW have affected my life i believe

    As for what would have happened in other area's of my life if we had not been witnesses of course I can never know.

    However looking at my cousins and now my grown children I find no reason to suspect that anything like drug addiction or alcoholism or such things would have been anymore likely.

    As to whether I would have been a christian I don't know. Both my children are, as are some of my relatives.

  • Landy

    And as you get older and focus out still further, you might realise when you look inside yourself, that you create your entire universe, and take the ultimate responsibility for everything, hold no hurt and no malice.

    That deserves a lot more than the the one like I can give it.

  • Ucantnome

    How do you view your upbringing as a witness?

    I think there is a view that if you are raised in a christian land or muslim or others you are most likely to have the religion of your parents.

    I know when I was a young witness I felt lucky that my parents were witnesses and had accepted the 'truth' as I felt there was no way I would ever have gone to the kingdom hall and or the meetings and assemblies and I think the truth of this was borne out later when I left home. I attended the meetings and field service but most of the assemblies I missed and elders came to see me at one point 10 years before I left the witnesses and questioned me as to why I wasn't reaching out. I had no interest in privileges that I saw as a means of control that could be revoked in order to get your obedience.

    I'm glad I came to know Christianity.

    I think my relationship with my parents and other relationships could have been better. My upbringing affected my work decisions and my marriage, dating and other relationships I wouldn't say for the best.I think it affected my health.

  • Finkelstein

    In short a pain in the ass, full of fear, anxiety forced guilt, hate and more .

    All because of some corrupt power seeking opportunist men operating their own publishing house.

  • crazyhorse

    Full of suppressing my personality

  • Rainbow_Troll

    What you are saying is definitely true, but I try to look on the bright side:

    • Since JWs don't date I got into the habit of being celibate and thus didn't fall into the parent-trap that most twenty-somethings do. That means one, two, possibly three less innocent children did not get born into this shitty world. The same goes for their descendants. I've potentially spared hundreds of people from living terrible, empty lives simply by remaining a virgin.
    • Being exposed to a cult so early has effectively immunized me against every form of group-think. I'm probably much more skeptical and independent than I would have been had I not been a JW.
    • Field service was excellent for overcoming social anxiety. Most people are utterly terrified of knocking on a stranger's door and trying to sell them something. But I'm not intimidated in the least.
  • Xanthippe

    When I go to a big party and I'm introduced to the host's family, their old school friends, friends from college and old work colleagues from way back, then I know what I've lost.

    Plus the fact I'm a tense person who finds it very difficult to relax because as a small child I was told everyone in the 'world' is bad, not to be trusted and invisible beings are trying to hurt me. Why would that make a child tense! Go figure!

  • truth_b_known

    A strong moral code and the ability to study/read was the only positive takeaways for me. When I was in the sixth grade I tested at a high school senior reading level. I was fortunate that my college years were in the 90's when some higher education was approved of. I did go my own way. I ended up graduating with 2 degrees rather than just taking some college computer courses.

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