No, I'm not gay. Still, this story is interesting.
Recently I began dating a very fine young lady -- my first "girlfriend" ever, really. I'll spare the onerous and boring details of my life, but as some of you know I still live at home with my JW mother. (no comments from the peanut gallery ) For whatever reason I decided to not tell her that I've been seeing a "worldly girl." I probably should have, but I didn't. I know my mom's worldview and simply didn't care to deal with her reaction to me living a normal life and all that that entails (read: sex).
So, it's been about four or five weeks. I've been getting home a little on the late side due to the luscious lips...er...my car that just wouldn't get out of "park." My typical excuse has been that I was at my best friends house. My mother's suspicion grew.
Well, on Saturday my beau and I went to Wrigleyville to watch the Cubs playoff game and then met my best friend at the Green Mill -- a marvelous jazz bar in Chicago, do see it if you visit -- for some drinks and music. We left around 1 AM and we were just exhausted. I didn't feel like driving her all the way home and then have to drive back to my house, so we went to a hotel. Something told me this would not be the best time to tell my mother that I had a girlfriend and we would be at a hotel having a wild, orgasmic time before we hit the sack, so I called to let her know I was staying at my buddie's house.
Big mistake.
She calls my buddie's house in the morning and...well, you know the rest. "Where are you, Brad and where were you last night?"
I get home on Sunday around noon and the questions begin. Blah, blah, blah....
"I just want to know one thing...."
"What's that?"
"If it's true, then I don't think you can live here anymore....I mean, I just don't think I could accept that."
"What is it? Just spit it out."
"Are you gay?!"
Holy shit. My mom thought I was gay. As I started laughing she proceeded to tell me her reasoning -- how I "never notice a pretty girl" and "once said George Clooney was 'good looking'"....hehehe....
I assured her I definitely was not gay (I'd like to say I'm a lesbian nymphomaniac at heart ), although I said I was offended she would put me out of the house if I was and that I have no problem with homosexuals. I told her I had a girlfriend and showed her a picture to prove it. She was relieved.
Evidently, she made the connection that I spent the night with her. For whatever reason she seemed alright with that. (I guess she didn't like it, but viewed it as "normal") Her final words as our conversation ended, "well, I'm glad you're not gay."
Seriously, I don't know if I should be relieved or appalled. I'm relieved she's okay with her son being an immoral, apostate heterosexual, but appalled that she is so incredibly homophobic and was ready to kick me out of the house (!) if I was swinging the other way.
This made me appreciate what a hard time GLBT folk have in the world. My mother could stand me rejecting her god but she would not tolerate me if I got off on men. There's just something wrong with that.
Bradley