Especially elders...

by stillin 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • stillin

    I was wondering how many of you that are ex-elders have actually read any DA letters. Or did you just accept the synopsis given by the Secretary or whoever opens the mail?

    As an MS the closest I ever got was "he's an apostate." That could have boiled down a 10-page letter, but it certainly didn't dignify the person's stand.

  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    Oooooo,Oooooooooooooo Love to know please exelders. Great topic Stillin you beat me to it !


  • waton

    In my younger days, It was WT instructions that we were not allowed to discuss doctrinal difference details with dissenters. i would assume that this principle would apply to dissect, analyze DA reasons given.

    An anal policy.

  • Doubting Bro
    Doubting Bro

    In my limited experience (10 years) I actually never had anyone DA

  • fulano

    Most of my elder career was in foreign assignments, in the twelve years I never saw one.

  • 3rdgen

    Both of my husbands and my father were Overseers much of my life. The three of them combined never received a dissociation letter. Writing such a letter may be cathartic to the author but probably won't have any positive effect on the elders who read it.

    I just asked hubby whose job was the secretary, how he would have reacted to a DA letter. He said it just would have caused a lot of problems for the person who wrote it. He said what REALLY gets to them is those who successfully fade and are obviously happier than when they were active.

    When we run into Jws we know we are always asked in that condescending tone, "How ARE you??" With the toothiest smile, we answer, "We have NEVER been so happy. We really are blessed! Blah blah blah. Like a giant weight has been lifted off our shoulders. Hahaha." Then we ask them about their family member who is the biggest screw-up. (there is always at least one) They absolutely can't handle it when you THRIVE after leaving.

  • LongHairGal

    3RD GEN:

    I also believe that writing a disassociation letter is cathartic for the writer - but has little to zero influence on the JW who opens it.

    Probably once they get as far as seeing that you’re ‘out’, they stop reading lest they contaminate their mind🙄... I’m sure it’s not passed around. Too dangerous!.. I’m sure they have a ‘protocol’ when they get these letters.

    I almost wrote a DA letter but instead decided to do a ‘fade’ because I didn’t want any drama. I also believe they are bothered by ‘faders’ who appear to be happy! I did it this way and it worked for me. Also, it is a process of mentally deprogramming yourself over a few years.

    It took a while for me to become ‘myself’ again but it’s okay now.😊

  • HiddenPimo

    We got letters from a couple back in 2008 when I was an Elder and our PO put in the circulation envelope for us all to read. Then Myself and another Elder called the couple to verbally confirm that they indeed meant what they said about DA'ing. That was that.

  • 3rdgen

    @LongHairGal, I totally agree that it takes time to deprogram- sometimes years but the JWs we run into don't need to know that. "Fake it 'til you make it" is the way to go.

    Hubby is agnostic and I am pretty much atheist so neither of us believes in so-called "Blessings". However, it blows the circuits of a mentally in JW to think people who leave are being blessed so that's why we say it every chance we get!

  • Ronin

    I have never got a DA'd letter before.

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