This topic intrigues me. Because I would answer, yes, I have had my prayers answered. And yet, the HOW of them being answered could play into the "hands" of those here who say it's all up to one's self. That is, on reflection, oftentimes when I feel my prayers have been answered, I realize I have been careful to work in harmony with my prayers.
For example: I was trying to convert my cousin who is older than me and quite strong-willed. After many years of a somewhat wild lifestyle (at least wilder than mine! ) she became "born again." We had been estranged, but because we have always had a special bond, and because she knew I was a spiritual person, she renewed contact with me. I have always been an unorthodox JW in that I'm willing to really listen to another person's religious viewpoint and consider that what I believe might be in error -- that THEY might have something to teach me.
Now, my cousin was praying that I escaped the clutches of the Borg (without my knowledge). She accepted literature and we "conversed" via e-mail quite a bit on religion.
At the same time, I was praying that Jehovah show me whether or not I had the "true" religion -- unbeknownst to Cuz.
But I wasn't just praying. I was reading my Bible (independently) daily. And I had recently come back into contact with an old boyfriend who was now involved in a Mission group who refused to debate me on the Trinity and told me that only holy spirit could truly teach me. This despite my rather begging him to tell me how he could believe such a thing -- which, to me is totally incomprehensible -- because if I could just wrap my mind around it, there were so many other avenues that would be opened to me!
This minister friend told me that he was concerned for me because of my involvement with what he believed was a cult. I knew that his concern was genuine. We had a history. He loved me, and still loves me and I, him. He mentioned several books he had taken the time to read once he knew that I was hooked up with the JWs.
Remember, all this time I am praying to God to let me know whether I am worshipping Him in the way He would like.
So I buy the only one of the books that I can find at Barnes & Noble and began reading the chapter on Jehovah's Witnesses. At first I am enraged. What a very biased book!!! (Walter Martin's Kingdom of the Cults) I skip over the information on CT Russell himself (having read that in Barbara Grizzuti Harrison's book years before -- can't recall the title just now, excerpts are on Randy's site), sit at my keyboard, book in hand, Bible at hand, and begin writing my own apologetic. I spend hours and hours on my "Martin Refutation." I find some errors he makes and feel vindicated; I am jubilant because I am up to the task of contesting his viewpoints quite handily! But still I am praying.
At the same time, I am doing research on the Trinity. On the internet. At the library. At the Christian book store. In the ancient texts, etc. (I still cannot be convinced that the Trinity is sound doctrine to this date.) Included in this is systematically studying the Gospel of John to see whether it really teaches the Trinity. (I concluded it did NOT, btw.)
Still I am praying. But notice that I am, very diligently I might add, working in harmony with my prayers.
To make a long story short, after several months of this: prayer, Bible reading, apologetics, and non-WT research; I come to the conclusion that the WTBTS is NOT God's mouthpiece and that I should no longer be afraid to read frankly "apostate" material.
So I purchase CofC and In Search of Christian Freedom. Even before I read them, I go in search of a new church home. Find one. Lead a double life because I really, really want to reach my good friend and I know it will take quite some time. Once I read the books, I am GONE from ALL KH meetings.
Still praying, I join a Sunday morning Bible class. I like the way the elder who leads it prays. I later find out he is a Berean Christian (non-Trinitarian) who also feels comfortable in this particular church. I enjoy the study, because other than a few notes from commentaries shared with us students, we use only the Bible! And people yell out answers without being called on, and sometimes even interrupt one another!!!
A few months later I join the Women's Bible Study group, which is really cool because people go in sweatshirts and jeans!!!, and later, it is this group that I ask to pray for me when I know that I am going to disassociate myself. (My hand was forced, as some of you have read elsewhere.) I asked for them to pray that I have joy while I faced a test of faith (they still don't know I'm an ex-JW).
Still praying, I went to the KH for the announcement. I could've stayed home, but I wanted to radiate the joy I felt in having made the right decision, I didn't want the Friends to think I was ashamed or saddened about leaving. I asked my cousin and my friend to pray for the same thing, only more specifically, because I was afraid I might cry to be leaving certain ones in the congregation. My friend e-mailed me that he had prayed, would be praying and mentioned a Psalm that came to his mind.
When the meeting night came, I sat down front, on purpose -- the better to make my joyful exit and have all see it. It was my witness to the Witlesses! When the DA announcement did not come at the usual point at the beginning of the service meeting, I had to remain and the only thing that calmed me (the claptrap from the podium was just plain nauseating!) was reading the aforementioned Psalm -- twice. It calmed me like nothing else because of the love that went with the mention. I hung onto that and to the knowledge that the ladies and my cousin and my dear DF'd friend were all also praying for me.
If I do say so myself, I made a STUNNINGLY JOYFUL exit with a HUGE grin on my face (which I later learned had many scratching their heads in puzzlement)!!!! I nearly kicked up my heels in the parking lot.
Now: was my exodus from Witlessland a result of my hard work or a response to my prayers? Who can tell? A little of both, perhaps?
Psychologically I realize that because I believed God was a Hearer of Prayer, I had the strength to carry out my plan. Also I had love from my "cast of thousands".
But did I put me in that place? Or did Yahweh bring me through all of this -- meaning my entire life and all the places of worship that I have visited for a time and then moved on from?
I don't know.
I have more instances when I have felt answers to prayer, but I think that's rather enough for now, don't you?
outnfree
