If your still-JW parent died...

by starfish422 50 Replies latest jw experiences

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  starfish422

  Would you attend the funeral/memorial service? Assuming that it would be held in a KH; or even if it wasn't.

  This is something that's been on my mind lately; honestly, I'm not sure why. My parents are both still relatively young; 60 and 61. My dad has been diagnosed with skin cancer but both are otherwise healthy.

  I really don't know whether I would; particularly for my father. He has been so very cold; and I haven't even run into him in four years.

  Anyway, sorry for my ramblings and musings. Any thoughts?
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  joannadandy

  As of yet, my parents haven't shut me out. It's unthinkable to me that I wouldn't attend.

  Even if they did shut me out, I would still go. They were MY parents. Love em or hate em, they are responsible for my being. It's only resonable that I be reponsible enough to be at their end.
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  blaid

  I tend to agree with joanandandy. They are the parents, and that never changed, and never will. Besides, what are they gonna do, criticize you for not showing up for the past few years..i doubt it, ;)
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  Nosferatu

  This is EXTREMELY debateable for me. I've already attended one JW funeral service since leaving the troof. I have to tell you, after the speaker was done talking about the deceased, it turned back into a regular meeting night. I started drifting off into daydreamland. Also, even though I was never baptized, I was shunned by several people. Then my ex-bible study conductor comes up to me and tries to encourage me back into the troof.

  It was my worst funeral experience ever. I guess it depends on how many of my worldly relatives go.
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  Gadget

  I would have no problem walking back in the hall for their funeral service. In fact, because my brother and sister live so far away it would probably fall to me to organise the whole funeral, and I would do it the way my parents would want it to be done. ie, Memorial talk in the hall, and a brother conducting the service at the crematorium. The same I don't want them to force their views on me, I don't want to force my views on them. I'm still down as legal guardian for my 11yr old brother, I wonder if my parents are going to change that now?
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  Mulan

  Nearly all of our family are ex JW's and only my mother, an aunt and one cousin, still remain loyal to the dubs. Since my aunt and cousin live out of State, our family has decided we will have our own family services when Mom passes on.

  We will tell the congregation they are welcome to do whatever they want, but we will have our own. I know Mom would want a KH service but it won't be put on by the family. I will tell them that too. All of us feel not inclined to go to a KH ever again, for anything, especially to hear them put her somewhere, who knows where, with a hope we don't agree with?
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  shotgun

  I would be there for sure....my only regret is that they never allow family members to say anything.

  Instead they take the opportunity to give a fine JW witness to who came and forget to mention anything relevent about the individual other than they were a dub....arhhhh....it really gets my goat.

  Shotgun * faithful and discreet shave class*
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  garybuss

  The Witnesses view a death and a funeral as an "opportunity". They say preaching doctrine at a funeral is "taking advantage of an opportunity". They view mourners as a captive audience who are forced to listen to them spew doctrine. Plus they have a "no eulogy" policy. I think It's terrible.
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  MegaDude

  I can't see any point in attending what is basically just another JW meeting. Also, my JW mother has terminated our relationship because she is *ahem* of the elite annointed and I am of the ex-JW tribe. If I never saw her again in my life, it would be no problem for me anymore. I don't need to attend a funeral just to get a glimpse of the corpse of a religious fanatic who long ago ceased being my mother.
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  Mulan

  I don't need to attend a funeral just to get a glimpse of the corpse of a religious fanatic who long ago ceased being my mother.

  MegaDude, I think you said it very well. My mother has not taken that stand with us and does not understand other parents not loving their children. I know it is a source of pain to her that some act like your mother, but she always has an excuse for them too, and ends up saying "I would never do that to my children, and I live by what I think Jesus would do, not what someone tells me to do". Oh how I wish that were true in everything. For the most part, she is much better now than she was before. But she is 91.