How do we stop feeling like exjws?

by Brummie 50 Replies latest jw experiences

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  obiwan

  Brain transplant.....
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  arancia

  I am an ex catholic in first place,and now exj.w.I live my life as I always did.I got in the borg for 14 years,I disassociated 1year ago,they are not robbing my sleep for sure.I have almost forgot I was one of them. Therefore I want all the bad things and memories out of my mind I look at the brightest side of life ciao arancia
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  zen nudist

  your past can only bother you if you reject it. if you think, my life SHOULD have been what it was not, you are basically claiming to understand how reality actually works better than it does... which would include a lack of trust in any god[s] which might exist who allowed such a past to be the real one. Those who were borg have become who and what they are because of passing through that experience and there is nothing anyone can do to change that absolute... no one can change a single step which has brought us all to the living present where we find ourselves always dwelling, so you are always EXACTLY where you must be, not where you think you should be which is only a fantasy of partial understanding and incompletely knowledge. The universe has an unborn, uncreated nature, call it god call it ultimate reality, we are all the unfolding of that nature... the first lie adopted with ease is that reality is flawed in comparison to our own ideals.
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  kyria

  I know exactly how you feel. Recently, I burst out crying (for the first time in a long time) because I suddenly realized that I still am, and always will be that gangly weird kid that no one liked. I moved to New York about 6 months ago, and I had to make all new friends. It's been stressful, I can't hide my quirkyness. I will always be a little off-center, a little bit crazy. Hey, some people like it, and some people think I'm nuts. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot get my mind on the same track as everyone else. There's the small flashbacks, and the general feeling of being an outsider. We were not raised with the same experiences as everyone else. It's taken me this long just to catch up on all the movies I'm supposed to have seen. I don't make for very tantalizing bar conversation. Hell, I still haven't seen "Ghostbusters".

  In truth, though, I don't ever want to stop being an ex-JW. It's made me who I am today, and I like that. Someone who sees through the smoke and mirrors of religion and, I feel, am on the correct path to becoming a truly spiritual person. I have so many interesting stories, and so many eclectic interests. If art comes from pain, I thank my past for making me an artist. I wouldn't give it up for anything. Not for the most boring, whitebread, functional family in all of suburbia. I'll take my past and use it to see the present that much clearer.
• 

  Country Girl

  Hi Brummie. Nice tie!

  I get "those things" sometimes, too, and I've been out a long time. I think it's related to anxiety. It's not a full blown panic attack, but a shift in your mood with anxious overtones. It takes awhile to get over, yes. It's creepy when it first happens to you, but thankfully it passes after a short while of time. Sometimes, we get caught up thinking about things that make us anxious, and then we think of something else. But after awhile, these little bits of thinking of the old days catch up with us and cause this mood exchange. It's almost surreal. I don't know if that exactly explains what you had, but that's how I feel every now and then. Like I'm living in a dream world, and back to those old feelings. Yuk! Anyway, glad to hear it didn't last long!

  CG
• 

  ozziepost

  How do we stop feeling like exjws? In short, by being something else! IMHO a person will remain an "ex-Dub" for as long as they have nothing to replace it. A scripture we often used as Dubs was "Out of the mouth's abundance, the mouth speaks" and it's so true! What we speak about the most, tells much about us as a person. It tells of our interests, it tells what we hold dear, it tells what we are most interested in. When a person is a Dub, they speak as Dubs. Now they are no longer a Dub, what do they speak of? If there's nothing positive in life to replace the Borg, then regrettably they remain an ex-Dub.

  Cheers, Ozzie (of the freedom loving class)
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  zen nudist

  ****In short, by being something else! IMHO a person will remain an "ex-Dub" for as long as they have nothing to replace it.

  or as long as they ignore the wholeness of their entire life experience and call themselves by only one aspect of their life.

  I WAS a Jehovah's Witness at one point in my life, I am a zen agnostic pragmatic pan-me-istic skeptic NOW.... among other things... if you insist on defining your self in terms of what you are not, you will have to add a whole lot more than just being an ex-JW... and you will have to ignore the fact that in another way you are really filled with many things which you do not identify as you but still have effect on your actions and thoughts.
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  Brummie

  In short, by being something else! IMHO a person will remain an "ex-Dub" for as long as they have nothing to replace it.

  Maybe this is applicable to some people? I've replaced it and been something else for a long time. Apparently it still surfaces on occasion regardless of how distant one becomes from it.

  Thanks everyone, great comments.

  Brummie
• 

  b_ster

  You will never stop feeling like a JW... Or whatever an ex-JW is supposed to feel like..

  Life sucks as a pre-JW...

  Cheers,

  b_ster
• 

  DIM

  I think by living your life and being happy. Setting goals and accomplishing them. Dwelling on every little teaching that is wrong by the WTS will eventually drive one insane. I had fun researching all of the weird things on my way out the door, but now I barely think about any of that stuff. I look to the future and I feel secure and happy about that.