Need help - How do you determine whether to show a JW the truth or not?

AlainAlam

Hello everyone! I'd like to ask for your help with something. How do you determine whether to show a JW the truth or not?

Now some of you still believe in the Bible. To you the answer would be obvious - we preach to anyone as much as possible. But I don't believe in the Bible anymore, and would particularly appreciate an answer from atheist/agnostic/theistic/deistic exJWs.

I have conflicting feelings about this. On one hand, I've always had this feeling that "truth is always best". Even before becoming a Witness, I never (or perhaps very rarely ever) lied. It would follow that I believe leaving the JW would also be the best thing to do. I'm no longer religious about this "clinging to what is right" thing though, although I still care about authenticity.

On the other hand, some Witnesses are now are very happy "inside". This includes my (soon-to-be-ex-) wife. She's benefited a lot from being a Witness, and is blossoming "inside". She benefits from her relationship with God (as non-existent as he might be). She's very happy to learn about a god who understands everything about us, is slow to anger, appreciative, bigger than our hearts, to whom we can always turn for comfort or guidance, whom we can praise for all the beautiful things in life, etc. She finds real relief in the ransom and in thinking there's a basis upon which her sins (of which she is very aware) can be forgiven. She loves the publications and the advice they give; she feels safe knowing she can find guidance on almost anything. She's also in a an amazing, extremely loving congregation. The elders there are real shepherds, and the brothers and sisters. And, as you might have noticed, she is a very fragile person. So I can't imagine stripping her of both her faith in God/the ransom and the congregation's support. I think she would just die. But then I wonder if any system that is wrong can really be helpful. And then I think, well, maybe, everything in the world is messed up anyway.

I'm trying to express the conflict inside... Can anyone relate? :(

So, back to the subject. I've met some Witnesses who had serious doubts about "the Truth" - I didn't hesitate to offer help. Some Witnesses have contacted me inadvertently after I apostatized - I've told them I left because I'm no longer convinced this is the truth; I want them to see there is such a thing as a happy, friendly apostate. I'm still in contact with one Witness I work with - today he actually sent a personal brief message, and I replied cordially; the minute he indicates he might be curious about knowing more, I will talk. But in other cases, like my wife's, I'm really not so sure.

So, how do you determine whether to "preach" to a JW or not?

Note: Some might not be happy I said positive things about JW, turning to Jehovah, the publications, the elders, the congregation my wife is in, etc. I generally don't mind criticism and personal attacks, I've had my share of it when I was a Witness and grew thick-skinned. But please spare me the trolling, just for this post.

joe134cd

I am in this exact situation with my aged father. To be honest if he woke up, at his age, it would certainly kill him and I would deeply regret being the cause of this. This has also caused a bit of a love hate relationship with Wt. Don’t get me wrong, nothing would bring me more satisfaction to see the Tower burn to the ground. Then on the other hand I have to be pragmatic, in that it’s a support net work (be it conditional), and it occupies his day. If he was to walk out of the religion at his age he would be left with nothing. So in his case he is better off left ignorant, and I choose to keep him that way by keeping my mouth shut.

Now, on the other hand, if I was approached by my teenage JW relatives. I would certainly not hold back on telling them the facts. The are healthy enough and adaptable enough to make the shift into secular society. But I would certainly want to warn them of the dangers as well e.g unsavoury individuals, addiction, healthy sexual practice. So I guess weather or not to wake someone up can be a cruelty or a kindness.

cyberjesus

to show "the truth"? they have "the truth". are you aware they are under mind control? and that any attack or crticism will trigger their phobias?

only the zombies who are ready to wake up will.

they need to find the answers to their questions by themselves. do they have questions? or you just want to preach?

AlainAlam

joe134cd, thank you.

cyberjesus, even if I try to show them the truth, it would be a calm, constructive discussion. Not attack or criticism. But no, now I'm not talk about someone who has questions. I'm talking about someone I'm in contact with but who doesn't have questions. I can decide to slowly lay the ground for more, or just let him/her be. I'm wondering what factors to take into consideration.

Magnum

I think it's getting harder to show JWs the truth - not because we lack evidence, reasoning ability, etc., but because JWs now seem to be blindly loyal to the org & GB and less open-minded . In the recent past, I was thinking it was going get easier and easier to reason with them because of the mounting evidence that JWism is wrong.

I recently tried to reason with two JW relatives who I thought would be more open and reasonable. In the past they were level-headed and reasonable, but they've changed. It seems JWs are more brainwashed than ever. My two relatives were completely unreasonable and closed-minded.

To answer your question, I guess you would have to sort of know the person's current state of mind and feelings to know whether there is an opening. If there is an opening, you could maybe present some point as if it's disturbing you and you're just seeking the JW's opinion. Maybe that would penetrate the 'force field' around his head and get him on the road to seeing TTATT (the truth about "the truth").

On the other hand, if you don't see an opening - some kind of doubt, frustration, genuine honesty, etc. on the part of the JW - it might be best to not try to show him the truth, or to let some time pass and see whether he changes, or perhaps to just briefly mention some point maybe in question form as if you're wondering about it.

AlainAlam

Magnum, thanks for your input. These are helpful techniques. I'll keep the "is there an opening?" factor in mind.

Nitty-Gritty

@AlainAlam (sorry, posted this in the wrong topic)

2+2=5

Unless the JW has gone through some major life changing event or is having serious problems believing, any attempt to discredit the religion usually backfires. Better to hope they wake up in their own time, you can help if you feel compelled but it’s likely their defences come up.

I doubt you can say anything to help wake them, you’d be better off talking to shower curtains

AlainAlam

2+2=5 thanks for your input.

caves

Case by case basis. That's really it. You can metaphorically beat your head against a brick wall all you want in trying to " determine whether to show a jw the truth" as you put it, all day long. In the end, it is up to you to decide how, if or when. The other person 'the jw' in the case of this post, has to see for themselves. Or has to question things. But you said

I'm trying to express the conflict inside... Can anyone relate? -So, back to the subject.

This ^ .

That is the subject!

You are conflicted! She is not! That would largely explain the way you have been posting.

Relate? No.

I can relate to hoping they wake up, but that's not what you said. I personally would never outright try.

You said- I'm talking about someone I'm in contact with but who doesn't have questions. You also said-
I want them to see there is such a thing as a happy, friendly apostate.

You have answered your own question.

You said- I'm no longer religious about this "clinging to what is right" thing though, although I still care about authenticity.

Then just be authentic.

Your reaching for things that have no answer. If you pay attention to your thoughts as you are writing them here, you are answering your own questions.

Their is more at play in your mind than you are acknowledging or saying.

Need help - How do you determine whether to show a JW the truth or not?

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