JW Wedding Invite (page 2)

JWdaughter

Go if you really want to or if you don't want a confrontation, plead a prior engagement (with netflix and a beer, but they don't need to know that) and send a nice gift. Off the radar, respecting the friendship. No need to rock the boat-sounds like your kids will do that and you might be best off the premises :)

freddo

DoC -

You said "We'd like to show support for this young couple. They've had their issues (can't get married in the KHall), so we expect there may be many super-righteous JWs that do not attend. We know that they aren't "bad". Just normal."

I would go. If anyone sticks their nose in just say "We're doing great thanks. We're here to support (Bride and Groom) and are really happy for them. This isn't the time and place to get into deep stuff about us is it? No."

Then smile and ask them something about their kids or something banal like their work or whether they have a holiday coming up.

Pete Zahut makes very good points as usual.

flipper

DESIROUS of CHANGE- I like JW Daughter's response- I agree with her. Your adult kids have already stated they would stand up to any JW that challenges them on exiting the organization. AS you stated- you and I both know HOW judgmental JW's get towards us as EX-Jws. The JW's there will look at you and your wife for what your ex-jw kids say. That is how JW's roll . If it were me- I wouldn't chance it. JW's do NOT honor personal boundaries - and they won't honor you or your wife 's boundaries. Why put yourself in that situation ? You owe these jw's nothing in the way of news about your life. Just my opinion . Peace out, Mr. Flipper

pbrow

If you want to go and were invited then go!

Good suggestions by others here regarding pre-programmed answers. You sound like you have made a clean enough break. Do not let the question "what kingdom hall do you go to" stop you from doing something you want to do. You have allowed the jdubs to control your life long enough. Take it back and never give it up again.

pbrow

zeb

to any questions "Im fine, but we are here for the wedding". and move away. Wait for the reception once the booze flows they will be too busy not drinking any or getting under the influence.

You are there for the wedding.. You did get an invite right?

In a past cong there was a wedding and we didn't attend as we knew it would be a two congs tribal affair. The mother questioned later why we hadn't.

"Never got an invite" I says.

"But everyone was invited" came the lame reply.

Landy

I would normally say go if you want to.

But it may give you the opportunity to trip yourself up and say something that will have the elders come knocking and then to form a commitee. Even if you don't say anything then it gives any shit stirrers present the opportunity to say you said something apostate-like even if you didn't.

I would phone the couple up, express your sorrow for being on holiday the weekend of the wedding, wish them all the best and send a nice present and card.

WingCommander

Play it safe. Send a nice card with either 1.) a cheque 2.) some item from their wedding gift registry.

Duty done, save face, no personal contact with other JW's. Mission Accomplished.

Finkelstein

Thoughts or experiences?

I did that a couple a couple of times, that is going to a JW wedding and the experience wasn't that pleasant , why ?

You get stares and glares from a lot of JWS and the asking of " what have been up to ? " " where have you been ? " ......bla bla bla

I was never DFed either

Because the JWS will give you glares and snubs knowing that you left, I even got a

" What are doing here comment "

So the suggestion of just sending a card and gift might be put to consideration.

just fine

My personal rule is no contact. I will not attend any JW function. I will not be drug back into the drama. I have found in passing conversations " it's really none of your business" stops the questioning, or my other favorite " why would you want to know that?"

Incognito

Not saying this is the case in your instance:

From experience, there are too many JWs who only socialize with those in their clique and so will barely acknowledge other congregation members outside of that group. Suddenly, when they or their children can benefit such as in receiving gifts during a wedding or baby shower or wedding reception, they are all over themselves being overly friendly to those they normally snub. After the event has concluded (and sometimes even while it is still occurring), when there is nothing more to be gained, they typically resume their usual prior behavior.

If considering attending, do so for you and your wife's benefit and enjoyment. If giving a gift, do so because that is what you want to do, not because of a sense of obligation or guilt. 'Gifts' given by obligation or guilt, are not true gifts.

JW Wedding Invite

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