He asked why we have them over for dinner....we are not disfellowshiped just faded away so we can still have dinner with Witness friends now we have known for 10 years. Alot of "faders" do same. You might listen to afew dumb scriptures from them but still friends.
"Slimboyfat" response why I have Witnesses for dinner.
by Witness 007 10 Replies latest jw experiences
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joey jojo
Its hard to walk away from friendships but I found that over time, the hardcore JW friends I had couldn't handle any doubt cast on their beliefs and it was easier to part ways.
Do you find it hard to find common ground - can you be yourself , or do you have to continually watch what you say?
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DesirousOfChange
Its hard to walk away from friendships but I found that over time, the hardcore JW friends I had couldn't handle any doubt cast on their beliefs and it was easier to part ways.
I find that true. I "stepped down" 25 years ago and started my doubting phase about 5 years later. Then took another 10 years to completely fade. I had one elder friend (elder in both ways) who kept in touch and we exchanged calls every couple of months. That final phase finally ended a year or two ago when the calls stopped.
I wonder what keeps him going as he is an intelligent guy and has witnessed all the same issues that caused my doubts, but he's still there. Most of his children are PIMI, so he has that at risk if he would leave, but at 80-ish, "where would he go"?
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stan livedeath
my view is--i left the cult--but i havent shunned anybody. If i see someone i know--i will speak to them--or give a wave if further away
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Ron.W.
I found that over time, the hardcore JW friends I had couldn't handle any doubt cast on their beliefs
This is one of the things I really really dislike about the jw religion - why can't they just admit that their 'leaders' do not have a telephone line to God and make it all up as they go along??
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no-zombie
I found this post quite funny ... as Witness 007, you don't have to explain anything ... to anyone.
However I have gotten the impression by the comments of some here, that unless you are not some kind of hardcore Watchtower hater, you are morally deficit. Meaning of course, that Faders and PIMOs are sort of second class objectors and are taking the easy path out.
Sorry I hate elitism anywhere.
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littlerockguy
Back in the day when I was an active dub not very many witnesses would have anything to do with faders, inactive or witnesses who were irregular at meeting attendance or field service.
If they did have dinner with a fader or irregular dub it would more than likely be at the active witnesses house in a shepherding call/visit or study to get the person more active.
LRG
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Anony Mous
@no-zombie:
Faders are okay in my viewpoint. PIMO is different because you’re at least publicly and potentially financially still supporting the organization, counting towards their headcount etc.
If you know someone or something is evil, participating or being friends with those people is morally abhorrent. I don’t subscribe to the moral relativism necessary to just be able to see past knowing what is happening inside.
Perhaps partially this has been my own experience, but people quietly standing on the side while wholesale abuse of every sort is allowed and promoted are imho not a good person.
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DesirousOfChange
. . . . people quietly standing on the side while wholesale abuse of every sort is allowed and promoted are imho not a good person.
That's an interesting perspective. We have had PIMO friends & family encourage us to come back for the social network. But there are a few reasons why we do not consider that.
1- I don't think I could sit there through these 5th grade programs and not get caught rolling my eyes or laughing.
2- Someone might assume that we do totally support the bOrg because we attend regularly.
3- I'd end up getting "removed" because I think some of my former associates would work until they "caught me" at something they could run with to the elders. Better to be just "inactive".
But it reminds me of this quote:
“First they came for the socialists, and I did not not speak out --- because I was not a socialist,” goes through a series of other oppressed, but ignored, groups, and ends with, “and then they came for me --- and there was no one left to speak for me,”
The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!
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Anony Mous
@Desirous: yes, but that’s just emotional blackmail, which is a form of abuse. If your friends and family love you for who you are, then it doesn’t matter whether they believe the same as you or stray into paths of what you may find sinful. Obviously when you feel other people’s behavior is damaging to you then you should withdraw.
Do you truly have friends if they are only being your friends IF AND ONLY IF you join their club? Because if that is the case, then you’ll be continuously looking for what benefit they will try to extract from you and vice versa, who comes first, or what they say about you if you’re not there, it quickly turns into mistrust.