Raised by a religion

startingover

Recently I came upon this statement on this board:

They weren't really parents.
They were a couple: husband and wife; they were providers: Mom and Dad; they were people: Man and Woman; but they weren't really parents.
They let the religion "parent" me...

This morning I was talking to my 80 years old parents about this. I told them I really felt they let the organization raise me. I cited an examlple of what I meant. We talked about past discussions we have had about 1975. I was going to be 21 in 1975, and I have told them that I really believed everything I heard at the meetings regarding '75. I honestly thought the end was going to come. They said they couldn't understand why I would have felt that way since they said they didn't. They reminded me that they didn't take any drastic steps like quitting a job or cashing in a retirement. They wonder why I would have felt so strongly about it since they claim they didn't.

I told them it's because they didn't raise me. They let an organization do it. Why didn't they tell me not to get excited about it if they really felt that way.

They really didn't know what to say to that. My mother started in on the "why are you so negative" thing, but I told her I am not being negative, this is just the reality of the situation. I asked them again, "Why didn't you tell me you felt that way? I changed my life course because of it"

Whoever wrote the above, let me know so I can give you credit. It is a very profound statement to me and really sums up alot of the issues for me.

NeonMadman

Remember that JW's are taught just to "go along" with the organization, regardless of their personal feelings about things. If the organization was pointing to 1975, most JW's would have wanted their kids to believe whatever the WT was teaching at the time. Even if they were personally skeptical about it, they wouldn't have wanted to pass along any doubts they might have to their children. I'm sure your parents weren't being malicious in the way they raised you, or even deliberately neglectful. They honestly thought the best thing you could do was to be strong in "God's organization." They were, as Ray Franz has called such ones, "followers of followers" themselves. Don't feel the need to be too hard on them; they were very likely doing what they thought was best for you.

sens

Starting Over...Hi

I know how you feel, although I cant really say my parents took much notice of the org in this respect my mother (jw) my father (catholic). But I had a really strict religous upbringing although when i look back I see it more based on the catholic church than anything else.

I know lots of people born in the org, their parents followed the book on raising kids, and prob. had the youth book eartagged.

The amount of times i heard ''well the society says...." "we showed him\her the article on etc''

At one time heard a woman say ''I wont get close to my grandchild because I know they will be destroyed at armageddon''

3 Sens 4

startingover

What is surprising to me is that my folks seem shocked at some of the things I believed as a witness. If they didn't teach it to me, where did I learn it? I know. From years and years of listening (although most of the time subliminally) at the meetings and conventions. I now know there are a lot of opinions expressed that probably don't come from the WTS, but I believed it was coming from God so I believed.

I have told them I don't blame them for the situation. They did the best they knew how, they had never raised a child before. I just wish they had been able to figure things out as I have.

sens

but I believed it was coming from God so I believed.

I think this is the case for most jw's, you arent alone

3 Sens 4

jschwehm

Hi:

I am not sure if I wrote that comment above...but I have definitely expressed that sentiment to others and to my parents. For our family pretty much any "suggestion" from the Society immediately became the rule of our family. I often tell others that I was raised by the Watchtower Society and that I never have gotten to know who my parents are.

Jeff S.

DJ

(((((((((startingover))))))))))

I understand what you are saying. It is funny how when asked, the jw's downplay 1975. They claim now that there were some members who overreacted about 1975. They never admit that they caused it or taught it. Imo.....they people who believed what they really taught about 1975 were the faithful dubbies. The ones who say they never really believed it surprise me because....how on earth can they claim that the wt speaks for God if they don't believe what the wt teaches? So are they saying that they knew they were false prophets all along? Classic example of thier wacky jargon. When I read the watchtower articles about 1975 it is CLEAR that they taught it was going to be the end. If you parents did not believe that those satements (prophecies) were true then how did they justify staying in a religion that claims to be God's mouthpiece while being wrong at the same time? Makes no sense to me to say>>>"Oh well, we have made mistakes, we are human" HA! They allow no other religion the same courtesy...if another religion made the claims that they do and did what they do.....they would have a field day bad mouthing them and showing how they belong to false religion. Such hypocrisy....

startingover

When questioned further about 1975 and why I thought it was the end and they apparently were going to wait and see, my father just said "Well I wouldn't have been surprised if it did happen".

My respect for my parents is pretty much gone. Especially when I am told "You just go ahead and keep checking things out" with a smug expression. I really hate that because I know what it implies. I remember being told when I was younger by my parents that someday I would look back and realize how smart they really were. That had to have been 35 years ago and I'm still waiting.

DJ

Startingover,

I understand the anger toward your parents. I can relate. I was 15 in '75 so it did not impact me like it would have if I was 21. That is an age when imporatnt life decisions are being made....I was still in high school.... I know a man who sold his house because of those teachings. He is an xjw now and a loving Christian man. I have had days when I felt that I hated my parents for the upbringing they gave me...but it has been 7 years now and I have learned to see them as misled and only trying to do thier best... It is a hard thing to come to grips with...just try to remember not to disrespect them as your parents. You don't have to feel respect for their religion but you need to treat them respectfully. It is a tough thing to live with, I know but you can do it. Take their advice and KEEP checking things out.....they are wrong and you need to know that for sure before you can heal. It is hard to love before you are healed from the past lies and pain. I wish you much love and patience. dj

razorMind

I know lots of people born in the org, their parents followed the book on raising kids, and probably had the youth book eartagged.

The amount of times i heard ''well the society says...." "we showed him\her the article on,...etc''

This is exactly how I was raised .

Raised by a religion

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