Don't expect any more downsizing announcements at annual meetibg

by nowwhat? 10 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • nowwhat?
    nowwhat?

    Expect a day of fluff, more bells and whistles and boasting. They are not going to throw shade on their glorious day. But shortly thereafter when everyone's feeling good about themselves expect the hammer to come down during a morning worship broadcast.

  • sir82
    sir82

    They are not going to throw shade on their glorious day.

    I dunno, it was a "nationally televised event" when Morris snarled at people who wear "tight pants" and "spanx".

    It will be interesting to see if they use the occasion to grumble about whatever their latest peeve is, or if they, maybe, possibly, try to be "encouraging".

    Of course the majority of the program, as you noted, is likely to be boasting about their shiny new headquarters buildings.

  • no-zombie
    no-zombie

    I feel that we get two Christmases; the AGM and and the release annual report. Hope we get a lot of presents.

    no zombie

  • Londo111
    Londo111

    We shall see what we shall see.

  • FedUpJW
    FedUpJW

    It will be interesting to see if they use the occasion to grumble about whatever their latest peeve is, or if they, maybe, possibly, try to be "encouraging".

    Encouraging is a word not found in their vocabulary..

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    Excerpt from the upcoming Annual Meeting:

    Speaker: Tomo III

    (Nasally voice...)

    " The Governing Body wants the entire brotherhood to know that we love and cherish them unconditionally. ( Chuckle....)

    -Applause-

    Furthermore, we are pleased to announce to you dear friends, that we are posting all our financial statements on our website. This will allow all of you to see exactly where every dollar goes. ( Ahem..)

    -Applause-

    Now, Jehovah has revealed that we are to institute a mandatory background check for all baptized members, and any bible students that spend time with our precious children. We will pay for all the expenses and publishers will not need to donate one penny. Aren't we glad that Jehovah leads his people? ( Shit-eating grin...)

    -Applause-

    Finally, we have another historic announcement. ( Dramatic Pause...) We are immediately instituting an new Charity program to help disadvantaged ones all over the world. It doesn't matter if they are worshippers of Jehovah or not. All the financial information will be available on our website, and a special accounts report will be aired on our monthly broadcasts. ( Eyes glazed...)

    -Rapturous Applause-

    Sure, they END is just around the corner...but the FDS figured...WTF???

    -Standing Ovation-

    DD 😑

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    DD you forgot to add the important new ruling allowing brothers on the platform with tight trousers even those which have been designed by homosexuals.

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    Nah, I doubt they would want to interupt the momentous flow of pomp and circumstance of the event. I imagine it's difficult to maintian that big booming wizard of Oz voice machine going when talking bout business.

    They probly have a special separate annual meeting where the champagne and caviar is served by bethelites in togas and they laugh about the hall/sale/mergers there.

  • jwleaks
    jwleaks

    DATA-DOG

    Excerpt from the upcoming Annual Meeting:

    Speaker: Tomo III

    (Nasally voice...)

    . . . [announces new charity giving arrangements and child protection arrangements] . . .

    Standing Ovation.

    Tomo III leaves the platform. The next speaker steps up to platform.

    Speaker: Geoffrey Jackson

    "I have a brief announcement from the Governing Body. Anthony Morris the third is no longer a Jehovah's Witness."

  • LevelThePlayingField
    LevelThePlayingField

    Data Dog, gotta love it. Really funny!

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