The two paths of exJWs

by Simon 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Simon
    Simon

    It's easy to think of exJWs as being a single amorphous group but the more I think about it, the more I believe that there are two distinct sub-groups and wonder if you agree.

    There are those who believe and those who don't. I know that seems obvious but let's break it down a bit more. There are those who don't and never believed and some who are looking for a religion to match their beliefs.

    I used to think this split would be between born-ins and converts but of course it's possible for born-ins to be believers although I suspect that many, like with other faiths, do so simply because they have never experienced anything else or made a conscious choice. It is the world they grew up in and all they know. When they do make a choice, they may leave and often don't seek out a replacement religion.

    The converts though bought into the WTS religion most frequently because it was serving the niche market they were looking in. I know it sounds obvious, but if you are in the market for a bike, you go to bike shops and review bikes, you rarely are looking at "transportation" and risk coming home with a new truck. People buy what they are looking for.

    When people leave, we see so often that some become atheist or agnostic and want nothing more todo with religion. They never wanted to ride the bike, it was forced upon them or they decided cycling just wasn't for them. Others though just think the bike they bought wasn't the right bike for them but they still want a bike so as crazy as it sounds to those of us in the first group, they join some other religion with sight variations of beliefs and practices - another group selling to the same marketing segment.

    Just remember, you may really love your new bike but some of us don't want to come along for the ride.

  • Lieu
    Lieu
    I see your point but I don't think most fit in a particular mold.
  • LoveUniHateExams
    LoveUniHateExams

    I agree with the OP.

    Both me and my dad have faded. I've learnt that the WT is a steaming pile of kaka; my dad still believes deep down.

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    My conviction ended after visiting several churches (after leaving WT cult).  The religious org may exist that doesn't operate as a business, but I don't think so. And a creator deity may exist but there is no org that represents It, He or She, in my current opinion.

    Marina

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Some people who buy a new bike love their new bike and it makes them happy, so they want to sell more new bikes to others who rode their old bike with them once. They want to express how much better the new bike is. Especially if people want to drive trucks from now on.

    Simon, they mean no harm, and if all bikes are the same many will come to the same conclusion. But there will always be some who want to sell you a new bike.

    Is it so bad to have that side of the argument on your forum if it helps people learn how to drive a truck?

    Kate xx

  • freddo
    freddo

    And some people ride bikes for fun, some rid to improve their health while others get very serious about what type of bike and even types of tyres, gears, weights of equipment and materials used in the bikes composition.

    The rabid will argue that their bike is the only one to have. But it is unheard of for someone to persecute or kill another bike owner because of what they ride!

    So "on yer bike" is fine by me!

  • Juan Viejo2
    Juan Viejo2

    Simon - I think you are on to something and have presented a decent theory about why ex-JWs seem to line up on two sides of a larger argument: To be OR Not to be a believing Christian (of whatever stripe or denomination).

    Before they became Jehovah's Witnesses in the early 1950s, my parents were "christians." My mother was raised by a liberal Christian mother (Protestant denomination unknown) and a conservative and abusive father with Southern Baptist / Conservative Southern Methodist connections. While still in her early teens, Mom ran away from home and took refuge at a Catholic School for Girls. They gave her shelter and protection, so she converted to Catholicism to show her gratitude. But she never really practiced the religion other than going to mass on Easter and Christmas. My father was raised a (Southern) Baptist. Never was a church-goer and never considered himself religious beyond believing in Jesus.

    They became Jehovah's Witnesses after my mother agreed to a "Bible Study" engineered by my much older half-sister. My sister became a JW right after the loss of a new baby. Where she lived in a small town in Oregon, there was a relatively large congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses. Looking for companionship and solace, my sister was easily sucked into the cult. It was she who sent a JW to our door in Los Angeles and managed to start our family's conversion from barely any religion at all to active and dedicated Jehovah's Witnesses.

    When my brother and I both left the religion while in our early 20s, neither of us felt the connections to the conservative religious ties of the rest of our family - most of whom were conservative Southern Baptists. In fact, we were repelled by their hypocrisy and ignorance. Not only that, but most were very conservative, racist, and alcoholic. They offered us nothing of interest - and we had never attended their churches. We chose to "go without" rather than get sucked back into a "conventional and acceptable" religious "Bible-thumper" brain-killing lifestyle.

    Since I became active in the ex-JW movement nearly ten years ago, I have seen that there are clearly two distinct paths that former JWs tend to follow. The one I prefer is a basically agnostic, non-religious, "it's all bullshit anyway" path - but still tolerant of those who prefer to believe and quote from their Bible from time to time.

    At the same time, most of my closer ex-JW friends also tend to lean to agnosticism and general non-belief in the "christian" lifestyles of the majority. But I do not waste my time trying to convert any of the "neo-christian" ex-JWs. They can believe if they want to - I do not care. But I do get a bit irritated when they try to suck me and mine back into their "new" Christian beliefs that tend to mirror those of the Southern Baptists that I came to detest as I grew older.

    Simon - you are definitely correct to point out the major chasm that seems to have been created between ex-JWs who have reembraced conservative Christianity and those of us who have chosen to leave all of that behind and unload that burden from our lives.

    I think the major difference between us is that the "believers" among ex-JWs somehow feel they should make their rehoned beliefs public and judge all other ex-JWs based on whether they believe or not. They want to criticize those of us who do not believe and judge our worth based mainly on whether we have "God and Jesus" in our lives. Those of us who have chosen the non-believer path frankly don't care what they believe because we know deep down that they are really no different than they were as JWs - they've just changed brands.

    JV

  • Simon
    Simon

    I wasn't so focused with the desire some have to preach (except when they are intrusive and / or underhand about out) as much as recognizing that the WTS caters for one particular niche and people find them, more than they find people.

    i.e. if the WTS didn't exist then other groups would likely fill that niche to appeal to the people that find that particular mix of beliefs appealing.

    But I think there is a definite divide among those who leave between people who then go looking for something to fill the place of the WTS and people who were never looking for that in the first place and are just glad to be free.

    I think it explains what I sometimes find unfathomable as a born-in who left - why on earth does anyone ever join the WTS when there is lots of information about them. It's not that they are suckered or conned as many imagine, it's that they are actively looking for something that matches the WTS brand of religion.

    Oh, and for the record, I have nothing against bicycles - I used to cycle a lot.

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    I was born-in, at one time I believed that it was, in the main, the "truth". So it seemed logical when I found that the WT/JW religion was simply a Tower of Lies that I look for the "true" Christian religion. That did not work, they all have something wrong with them, whatever your yardstick used to measure them.

    I then examined the Bible itself, and was astounded to find that it is nearly all fiction, and a fraud to boot.

    I then examined the evidence for and against the existence of god, or a Supreme Being. At this point I had decided the only sensible way to live was an Evidence based life.

    I found a huge amount against, and virtually none for the existence of such a Being, so I decided that whether or not he/she/it exists matters not to me.

    I am an Atheist in the strictest sense, i.e "without god", but am happy to examine any real evidence, so, in a way, I am as well Agnostic in the strictest sense, i.e "without knowledge".

    I cannot see that belief in anything, trusting that something is true without real evidence, makes any sense at all. It is not rational, and is therefore delusional.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Being a born-in, with JW relatives so hardcore into the inner workings of this Org, the indoctrination is so strong that it is part of my fiber like it or not; reason why I cannot approve of the LGBTQ community and other behavior radicals.

    I guess this makes me a 'JW-lite', but JW nonetheless. At the time of ultimate allegiance, you will find me in the JW camp.

    DY

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