Do You Have Any Indoctrinated Guilt Left Over?

by pale.emperor 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pale.emperor

    I voted this morning for the first time. At 32yo i wondered in a Church Of England parish hall with no idea what i was doing. Everyone else knew how to do it. So i manage to fake it enough to make it look like i've done this before. Casted my vote and made my way out. On the way out there's the female vicar talking to some young schoolchildren about a day out they're all going on tomorrow. There was a big display on the wall that the kids had made and they'd stuck on leaves and painted hand prints and were raising money for the Manchester terrorist attack victims. Message above it said "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." - Romans 12:21.

    I thought this was really nice. So i even put a few £££ in the collection box. Sure, im an atheist now, but this little parish is doing something nice with the kids, getting them involved in making a display, raising money for - not the church - but for the Manchester victims families. A far cry from the Kingdom Hall i was raised in.

    Anyway, i felt not one jot of guilt over voting. Whereas about a year ago i would have. It's made me see how far i've some in untangling the indoctrination and thought stopping the Watchtower fed me since birth.

  • jookbeard

    no none at all, it didn't take me long to lose it all either, perhaps a couple of years, although my personnel circumstances did change very drastically in the space of a couple of months; moving away, new job,divorce and separation, birthdays and Xmas celebrations never bothered me and I've even eaten black pudding! my old adage is "time is certainly and healer but the emotional scars will always be there" just try and enjoy your life. I'm off to vote shortly also.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Good on you PE, you are now experiencing real life without the Watchtower mind shackles! I also voted this morning, at 7am.

    Jook, yes I think that eating black pudding is the acid test for how far you have come in getting rid of indoctrination. A disk of fried black pudding on crustless bread topped with a slice of apple makes for a good starter. (ideal when the CO comes to dinner)

  • Chook

    No guilt on my part , birthdays ,Christmas , gamble , one of the things that tipped me over before I left was they had to print a tract on how to dress when visiting bethel , that screams cult control.

  • pale.emperor

    I've even eaten black pudding!

    I think that eating black pudding is the acid test for how far you have come in getting rid of indoctrination.

    I tried it in a cafe about 3 months ago. They seem to add with to every fried breakfast here in Liverpool. I didnt like it. In fact, i spat it out. It tastes like metal! So now i dont eat it through choice rather than being told not to.

    I do put a bet on every now and then. Christmas, i cant get excited about, unfortunately it still feels wrong in my head. My birthday and my daughters birthday was great though.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    PE sorry but I think your taste buds are still indoctrinated...

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    Great story P.E. Here on the other side of the pond I went through the same guilt. The first time I ever voted I was 57 years old. No lightning, earthquakes or hail stone's. Just a nice sunny day. By the way being a born-in I act like a little kid when it comes to birthdays and Christmas. LOL. Still Totally ADD

  • Onager

    I still get micro-flashes of guilt now and then. The programming was deeply embedded and it's going to take a long time to iron out all the wrinkles. They're over quickly though and leave no lasting damage.

  • Tallon

    @ PE

    I too voted today - my second time. First time was last year - over Brexit.

    I parked up in a nearby parking lot and as I was walking toward the local parish hall, I quickly glanced around to see if there were JW's lurking on the streets before entering to cast my vote - silly really.

  • stuckinarut2

    Great thread.

    Yes, I voted in our last elections, and bluffed my way through the process... it was a great feeling to do something that we were always told was wrong.

    We tried playing the pokies too once...but that was just boring and a waste of money...

    But, NO guilt!

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