Epiphany #2

Solzhenitsyn

So after much emotional struggle out into the open comes why my dear wife continues to want to stay with the WT organization.

I simply couldn't understand why someone so intelligent would suffer from such confusion wether to stay active or fade away when she has faced AND ACCEPTED the anti-JW facts.

Simply put: She was raised with such sick instability that JW life was the only thing that provided stability, the only thing she felt she could count on. To this day this remains the primary reason she stays "in". She openly affirms 1914, 607, GB edicts, WT prognostications, local BOE stooges, ect is all a bunch of unnecessary crap and feels noone needs to know her thoughts on the matter. It's the 'safe place' that she can't see herself peeling or being peeled away from.

Any suggestions on how to approach this deeply entrenched emotional matter?

Tameria2001

I was one of those JWs, I had to figuratively be slapped in the face by those people a few times before I finally snapped out of it. It was when my children were being affected by that cult, that I finally decided for myself that I really had to figure out for myself what was more important.

I just remember something, something that important to someone who is a JW, even those who are "weak", has this very strong feeling of needing to feel like they need to belong to a group, for example; like a certain religion.

caves

Solzhenitsyn- She was raised with such sick instability that JW life was the only thing that provided stability, the only thing she felt she could count on.

Hmm.... thats a tough one.

Professional counseling if she is willing.

Find things you both can do together that is fun and fill your time with that.

Surprise her with something awesome that requires you to go somewhere on a meeting night, just every so often to start. Perhaps that might make your wife feel even more 'safe and stable' with you, and 'stable' within her own skin.

Find books on childhood trauma and abandonment issues ect, read them and leave them laying around.

Perhaps, patience and sticking to your guns in a way that is loving will accelerate the process.

Tameria2001

I was thinking about the last part I mentioned, just wanted to add a little more to it. It happened at the point that I realized that the Watchtower was not who they said they were, you know "The Truth". I had this strong urge to talk to someone, but I didn't know who. It so happened that my husband's aunt was a Sunday School Teacher. She was the type of woman who knew her Bible, and she was quite honest about stuff. She had lived life to the fullest, and had plenty of life experience to back it up. During her lifetime she had also been a school teacher as well. She was able to answer every single question that I had; and any questions that had always nagged me, but I was too afraid to ask while a JW. She was very thorough on her research on the JWs as well.

Vanderhoven7

The Org is her security blanket. It might help to have something similar/ better to replace it with.

smiddy3

I would suggest you invest in Don Cameron`s book "Captives of A Concept" that uses the WT`s own publications to debunk the thought that they alone were chosen as God`s mouthpiece in the time of the end..

I will put this in my own words however D.Cameron does a much better job of it.

J.W.`s teach that Jehovah /Jesus chose the International Bible Students Association as the only true religion in 1919 as taught by Charles Taze Russell and they were the faithful and Discreet slave Class to dispense spiritual food at the proper time.

Now think about this : Nothing C.T.Russell taught up until his death is acknowledged as truth by the JW religion today .

So if Jehovah / Jesus accepted what C.T.Russell was teaching back then as truth in the Watchtower and put their stamp of approval on it as the" Truth" and the faithful and Discreet Slave Class .

And it is now not accepted as "Truth" by the current Governing Body it either means Jehovah / Jesus got it wrong back in 1919

or else,

The current Governing Body of Jehovah`s Witnesses are Apostates rejecting Jehovah / Jesus appointing the IBSA /Jehovah`s Witnesses as the Faithful and Discreet Slave Class in 1919 .

They cant have it both ways.

That`s just one example their are many more gems in his book.

Diogenesister

if Jehovah / Jesus accepted what C.T.Russell was teaching back then as truth in the Watchtower and put their stamp of approval on it as the" Truth" and the faithful and Discreet Slave Class .

And it is now not accepted as "Truth" by the current Governing Body it either means Jehovah / Jesus got it wrong back in 1919

Smiddy the dubs would answe as follows:

since Rutherford was president in 1919 when Jesus chose the Witnesses, the major teachings have remained the same. There have been some minor 'refinements' only....directed by Jesus himself, of course!

Onager

Hi Solzhenitsyn, love your books by the way. :)

Any suggestions on how to approach this deeply entrenched emotional matter?

With love.

And patience.

ThomasCovenant

I was in a similar place.

I didn't believe a single word of the religion for years but I carried on going for the 'association'.

Being a bit of a loner I had no social life outside the Witnesses, so was content to go along.

It took the blood transfusion issue with my wife to snap me out of it.

Next day finished.

I consider every JW that still attends even for the same reason that I did to be partly responsible for every death that results from the blood transfusion policy and partly responsible for every rape of a child that takes place under its security blanket.

I couldn't live with that anymore.

Every one that still attends has a ripple effect to ensure that others still attend even though they may not believe it anymore. Peer pressure.

If more unbelievers just left other unbelievers would just leave too.

Half banana

JWs are brought up to be totally dependent on the cult leadership for everything except money.

Being a JW involves sharing a particular identity as it has developed over the years within the org. This involves acting, speaking and thinking like a JW and avoiding breaking the club rules. The trade off for believing the JW nonsense is that you get the false hope of everlasting life and a bunch of like minded friends.

However paranoid and unreasonable the organisation is, this completely human need for identity and belonging is largely fulfilled by being a JW and that's why so many are bamboozled.

So Solzhenitsyn, I suggest you might look at helping your wife discover her real self and get her to know her own potential.

Of course creativity and independence has previously been stamped on by the cult and in most witnesses the 'real person' is suppressed, often living the life of a Watchtower drudge or human doormat. Not suggesting for a moment that your wife is such but this would be the ideal personality from the point of view of the cult leadership.

So how about thinking of ways to help her realise her own dreams? Of course you will probably have to tease them out of her in the first place! There are courses in the UK called Outward Bound for example which help the timid become adventurous and most importantly self-reliant-- which is the very thing the Watchtower doesn't want its followers to be. (You could do something like this together). Perhaps encourage her to take up something she has always wanted to do for which she will receive praise because of her initiative or so that she can enjoy the results of seeing something created by her own efforts.

She needs weaning off the cult fixations and learn to fulfil her own dreams and express her own personality, and as Onager says this will have to be done with love and patience as well on your part.

Epiphany #2

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