Phone Calll From My Brother -- He's Reinstated!

by Bendrr 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Bendrr

    I got a phone call a couple of nights ago from my younger brother. Actually a message on my voice mail. He called to let me know that last night he and his band would be practicing at his apartment and wanted me to come over because "we haven't hung out together in a long time" His own words to his DISFELLOWSHIPPED brother! "We haven't hung out together in a long time".

    I couldn't make it so I called yesterday afternoon to tell him. No biggie, no one else had showed up either and he was as tired as I was. So we just talked for a while on the phone.

    Matt has been reinstated as a Witness. He's happy and I'm happy for him. Like I told him when he first got df'd, I stand behind him no matter what because he's my family. Back when I told him that, he said "that means more to me than you'll ever know" and he told me that we would always be close. Matt's kept true to his word. We may go a month or so between calls or visits, but we never stay out of touch for long. We'll go out to lunch together when he brings his truck to my shop for service, we talk on the phone, he'll drop by my apartment once in a while. We're closer now than we ever were as kids growing up. The kid still looks up to me, but to be honest I look up to him now too because I see what a cool dude he's become.

    Anyways, back to his reinstatement. He told me that everyone pretty much just leaves him alone now. Once the announcement was made, it was all back to normal. He makes the meetings he can and goes out in service when he can, but if he misses either there's no questions asked. He's got all his friends back now. Of course, there were plenty who remained his friend when he was df'd.

    I pointed that out to him. That there were those who didn't shun him while he was out. Those are true friends. He agreed. One of his band members is currently df'd. Matt is treating him like a true friend because that's what he is, regardless of whether he's "in" or "out". (damn! I'm so proud of Matt, he's got a heart bigger than his whole body!).

    I told Matt that his generation is the one that will play a role in changing the JW's. I truly believe that. Matt sees that too and I think Metatron will agree with me here. Matt and his friends in the Empire do want to be Witnesses, but they're doing it on their own terms. That's Matt's exact words, "I'm reinstated on my own terms". He's going to keep on living his life his way, same with his friends. It's not even a "double life" to him anymore. It's more "compartmentalized". He's a Witness, he goes to meetings and out in service, and his Witness life is truly not just a show, and he's got his life outside the Kingdom Hall and that life is "none of their business". I say it's not just a show because it really isn't just a show. He really does believe a lot of what he's taught, what he checks out and verifies for himself. The things that he's taught that he sees to be inaccurate, he disregards.

    It was all good news to me. Matt isn't unique amongst the 20-somethings in the Empire by a long shot. I really expect to see the hardliners become more and more a fringe element in the coming years and for the Empire to gradually become a "kinder, gentler" though only slightly-less insane version of itself.


  • Gadget
    That's Matt's exact words, "I'm reinstated on my own terms". He's going to keep on living his life his way, same with his friends. It's not even a "double life" to him anymore. It's more "compartmentalized".

    I hope he manages to stay like this and not get sucked into the org more or shunned by everyone. He sounds like this will make him happy, having the best of both worlds. I hope it works out for him.


  • Prisca

    Cool relationship you have there with your bro. Sounds like how brothers (and sisters) should be.

    You know, before I even looked at this board this morning, I was thinking how Witness kids seem to be different from our generation. Back then, you were either in or out - you couldn't live half your life as a Witness and also do "worldly" things like go to bars, listen to live bands or date without being chaperoned. If you did, it was a definite double life that you hoped no one would find out about.

    Kids I know are now doing these things, and more, all whilst remaining Dubs in good standing (more or less). They're not breaking any of the definite rules, just doing things that were looked down upon a decade or more ago.

    If kids like Matt want to live their lives that way, then good luck to them. They are living with themselves in mind first, and the Society is now a definite second. A new breed of JWs seems to be emerging.

  • StinkyPantz

    I'm so jealous!! I wish that my brother (whom I once considered my best friend/idol), would allow me to remain in his life. Be thankful for what you have Mike, and the rest of us can live vicariously through you.

  • kitties_and_horses_oh_my!

    Hey Mike - glad you're close to your brother. I hope you always stay close to each other and don't let the dubs get in the way. Dubs would even be an okay religion (??) if they didn't break up families the way they do now.

  • drwtsn32
    would even be an okay religion (??)

    Ok babe... you just uttered the unutterable words! Quick, edit your post before anyone sees!

  • Francois

    "what he checks out and verifies for himself. The things that he's taught that he sees to be inaccurate, he disregards." If EVERY JW did this and not just we few, the JWs would change overnight. It would still be a cult, sure, but it would be a different cult.

    And if the individual JWs refused to abide by the heartless, soulless disfellowshipping policy the borg would change as well. Dividing families should be defined as sinning against the Holy Spirit, and in fact to my mind, that is exactly what sinning against the Holy Spirit actually is...the destruction of the family...the destruction of Love in a universe dominated by the God of Love. What possibly could be worse.?


  • gumby

    Hey Mike.

    You are one of the fortunate ones with family who does not follow dub policy in this have your brother and he has you

    Isn't it odd though that a person will stay attached to an Organisation that is BUILT upon the fact that "it alone" .......follows gods laws........and that an individuals "independant thinking" within that organisation will bring them death. Your brother stays tied to an organisation he believes is correct about many things and wrong about others.

    For me as a witness......I could not ever see things that way or I would have been out a long time ago.


  • Navigator

    Francois is right. If thinking witnesses (oxymoron?)refused to follow the shunning policy, the GB would miraculously receive "new light". I too believe that it is a sin against the Holy Spirit.

  • czarofmischief

    Yeah, if everyone refused to shun the diffed, it would be just like the Sunday afternoon service or evening witnessing. We'd nod, smile, and do whatever the hell we want.


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