The Hermit's story PART 3

by The Hermit 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • The Hermit
    The Hermit
    You know what, I think that I really enjoy telling my story to you guys after all. Yesterday while I was going through the events of PART 2 tears were rolling down my face at some point but tonight I'm just smiling. Thank you all for your support, I appreciate it.

    March 1992. I underwent surgery to have the Malignant Tumour removed. My mom would always say to her friends ''My son has a MALIGNANT TUMOUR. Yes, it's CANCEROUS.'' I was 7 years old and I was stressed out. I'd talk to my tumour at night : ''Why won't you just leave?'' I said. I'd pray to Jehovah : ''Jehovah, could you please remove my tumour so I won't have to sleep at the hospital? Amen.'' The tumour remained unfazed.

    During my last week at home, before leaving for the Shriners hospital, I finally had made peace with my tumour and decided I wanted to keep it. Anything but an operation. I had read in the Awake! magazine (I loved to read the bound volumes, 1987-1990 were my favorites, older ones were B-O-R-I-N-G and Watchtowers were even worse) that sometimes patients would lose a lot of blood during surgery and the doctors would give them transfusions to ''save'' them, but in the end the blood was contaminated and the patients would catch all kinds of potentially deadly diseases. God's way of punishing those who accepted blood perhaps? Witnesses, when confronted by the choice of either living on borrowed time or refusing blood transfusions would choose the latter. I was ready to die, I was only afraid of the surgery.

    Mom didn't understand why I wanted to keep the tumour and she said ''You'll feel much better after your operation, Mommy will be with you and Jehovah will be with you too. When you're scared you just pray to Jehovah and he'll protect you.'' Suddenly I was all smiles:

    ''You're right Mom, now I can't wait to get rid of that goddamn tumour!''

    ''WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY????'' Oh boy she was seeing red. The word goddamn was for school use only.



    ...and of course I started crying. I used to cry a goddamn lot when I was young.

    I arrived at the hospital and met my surgeon. Shriners hospitals are very cool, or at least my Shriners hospital was way cool in '92. They had computers for the kids to play with and cable TV in each room. My surgeon was a tall man from Vancouver, in his 40's, the kind of cool doctor you would want for your child. My first question for him was ''Do you think I'll need a blood transfusion?'' ''No no no, don't worry about it.'' ''Ok, because you know, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I can't accept blood.'' ''Don't worry, you'll be fine.'' My parents were silently watching the whole thing. They saw how Jehovah was giving me strength and how he influenced the surgeon to accept my firm stance on blood transfusions. Looking back, it's more likely that I never needed a transfusion in the first place and that I was completely brainwashed. Whatever.

    So I had my tumour removed. Great. We were told we needed to come frequently to radiology and for other scans and checkups but so far the surgery had been a success. A couple of weeks passed. We got another call, can you please come back to the hospital?

    So we went there and the doctors told us ''Look, we're not sure we got rid of all the cancerous cells in his foot. It is possible that the cancer will grow back and spread through Hermit's (lol) body. We think it would be wise to amputate the 3rd and 4th toes, but ultimately the decision belongs to you.'' My dad told me ''Son, it's your body, it's your decision but if I were you I wouldn't take the chance''. Well I didn't want to die or risk losing my whole foot or my whole leg in a year or two. I didn't want chemotherapy, I didn't want to lose my hair. That would've sucked big time. I asked the doctor ''Will I be able to walk and run normally?'' He said sure. ''No blood right?'' ''No blood, don't worry.'' ''Ok. Then it's yes.''

    April 1992. Surgery, take two. Take two as in ''I lost two toes in the process.'' With metatarsal bones and all.

    I received some physiotherapy, radiotherapy and MRI scans. Checkups two times a year until the age of 13. It's safe to assume that I'm cancer-free now.

    But going back to the operation, the ordeal had been pretty much pain-free, thanks to Jehovah! The only thing that I remember hurting is when they removed a drain tube from my foot and much later the stitches. I guess Jehovah was busy elsewhere during those 10 minutes heh? Perhaps he had gone to relieve himself? - 1 Kings 18:27 When something good happens, praise God! When something bad happens, praise him anyway. Allahu Akbar if you win, Allahu Akbar if you lose.

    All in all I've spent two weeks at the hospital. Two weeks to a seven years old seems like an eternity. I had some visitors from the congo, but Stomper's family never showed up. It's probable that they felt guilty. They could've just said that they were sorry. Like I said in part 1, my father was a pacifist, he was not going to kill them. Cowards. They never took the blame for anything, instead when confronted, oh, it was not their daughter's fault and sooner or later the tumour would've shown itself, I just had it in me. Maybe, but I'll tell you what: it's not about the tumour, it's not about the amputation. It was just wrong what she did to me. So who cares if we were just kids, from parents to parents couldn't they have just said they were sorry for their daughter's behavior? Make her apologize or something? My mom had lost 15 pounds, she looked like Job (she was always very slim to begin with). I had seen my father cry for the first time of my life! And nobody ever came to ME to apologize. I had turned the other cheek that night and it made me lose two toes, WTF? Maybe I was not important. And that my friends, that is something I will never forgive.

    Nobody took our side at the KH. There was a vague form of general sympathy but it was very short-lived. What had happened to me was indeed unfortunate, but let's not hold grudges against our brothers and sisters, especially when their bigshot family is in the VIP's. VIP's can do no wrong. I would have to grow up with roughly 2/3 of my right foot remaining but that was fine, just fine. There we were sitting in the back while they were sitting in the front row. Now let's all eat our Spiritual Food in harmony shall we? In contrast, when I went back to school I was love-bombed by my friends and it was 100% genuine love and appreciation, I can tell you. They had missed me so much, they were throwing themselves all over me to help me carry my books and my lunch box. From that point on I knew where to find true friends.

    Stay tuned for PART 4, where I will talk about my father losing his faith in the Watchtower and my mother diving head first into depression. Good night!

  • rebelfighter

    Shriner's Hospitals for Children are wonderful and the best part your parents never received a bill from the doctor or the hospital.

    What wonderful work the Masonic community does for children.

  • oppostate


    You have a gift for words. Thanks so much for telling us about your experiences growing up in the JW religion. (I can't wait for the next installment : - )

  • vivalavida

    Loved the story but hate that you had to experience those things.


  • tornapart
    Really enjoying your story Hermit but yes, it's awful that you had to go through all that at such a young age!
  • ToesUp

    Wow Hermit, that is quite an ordeal for a little boy. I am so sorry you have had to deal with this for so long. It is not surprising (it very disturbing) that the girl who stomped your foot or her family did not apologize. It's the JW way.

    I am looking forward to your continuation.

    You are a strong person!

  • WingCommander
    So apparently Jehovah hates alot of things, except SHRINERS Hospital that is run by the MASONS, who like CT Russell, dabble in the occult, etc. Yep, no problem going there for your parents, since they didn't have to pay a cent, huh? How convenient. Man, I feel horrible for you, but at the same time it's like I'm right there with you.
  • The Hermit
    The Hermit
    Thank you all. Ok about the Shriners Masonic Hospital, since we're Canadians and we have free health care it was never about the money. It was more about their specialization with orthopedic conditions. They were recommended to us. I don't even think my parents knew what a Freemason was, I remember them saying the Shriners were a bit like the Rotary Club. Personally I couldn't care less, their hospital was immaculate with large rooms, private bathrooms, they even had Scouts coming over to teach us a few tricks. They really made me forget why I was there for. In counterpart if it hadn't been for the Shriners I would've been sent to an old hospital for children, a dreary brick building which looked like a steel factory from the outside and where everything was brown, beige and Art Deco on the inside. Not exactly something I would deem appealing to a child ;)
  • rebelfighter
    Yes, we do buy some very fun equipment so the children will forget why they are in the hospital. The year I was Worthy Matron of our Eastern Star Chapter our state participated in a large fund raiser for the Shriner's Hospital in Greenville and we purchased a neat race car all equipped with all kinds of video type games so when a kid was getting chemo they would be totally distracted.
  • The Hermit

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