by shotgun 20 Replies latest jw friends
For all of you who made a conscious decision to leave the Organization.
What was the price you had to pay or what was you willing to give up in order to be true to yourself. ( Wife, children, extended family, friends, jobs...etc)
And how have you coped? That may be too big of a subject for a forum answer because most likely you may still be coping.
I have a special interest due to my precarious position
When I broke free, it cost me everything I had, except my mind, and even THAT was in doubt at times......and if I had it to do all over again, I'd do it again.
Frannie B
I didnt give them up- The Borg took them away from me. When they kicked me out. My family friends,my sanity ( for awhile) But Praise the LORd -I found out they didnt have the power to keep me in that state. a few of my WT friends have sought me out ( & are out) my daughter is slowly disobeying the Borg & occasionally calling me. & I have never felt more "With it" in my whole life. By the way I have more friends "adopted kids ,grandkids on this board & in our group than old Job had ...So if any elders are reading this THANK YOU!! for giiving me my life back .
Like Grace said - it was taken
My home, my family, my friends, my community, my support system (such as it was), my samily, my self-respect, almost my life.
I got them all back ten-fold
shotgun
All of the above.
It was worth it to be free, and I don't regret it for even one second.
I agree with Mouthy - I did not give it up. It was stolen from me. Have been rebuilding for many years, and life continues to get better.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, but I will not sugarcoat it for you. It's a challenging path, but much better than living a lie, at least IMO.
How have I coped? Any way I can!!
Here are some lessons I had to learn: I don't have to be perfect; I can't take care of others if I am not caring for myself; there is no need to feel guilty; I can always go back to school; blood is not thicker than water; protect all children at all costs; live for the moment; and on and on ad nauseum.
Your journey may seem arduous, but embrace the good times. Live and learn as you go. You are strong. It gets better.
Peace, love & happiness
talesin
For me, the coping was while in the org. Leaving brought me much happiness, and a "life". My family who are involved (and there are quite a few) were never very loving anyway, they were and are robots of the wt. Actually, I am so much more of a person now with peace of heart and mind, that I find it much more enjoyable when I do talk or visit with them. The hardest thing is to see them living their robot lives and talking their robot talk... and knowing there are real people under it all - they are just so totally convinced and indoctrinated out of their desire to be right and win the prize dangled in front of them.
The organization has denied them much in life as it did in mine, till I de-programed my mind with the simple chant of "I will not feel quilty". But I must admit that the feelings of, not belonging anywhere, being a misfit, along with the guilt stuff can haunt me, if I let them, and only if I let them. There are times when those feelings will catch me off-guard, those are probably the most difficult times to deal with. Sometimes the family tries to "push buttons" even if unwittingly - that's when strength is needed on my part to take a step back and think before I automatically react.
I left along time ago and it took time to learn to listen to and accept my gut feelings (which has always been right) instead of letting the old programing in my head control me.
I didn't give up a thing... I gained a life of true freedom and I gained my mind.
My family and friends, on the other hand, began to shun me per the orders of the organization. The moment they began to follow those orders, they lost me. If they every want me back, all they have to do is stop shunning me. It's up to them.
My family, all my life-long (so-called) friends, my home (I was kicked out) and so much more.
I wasn't DF'd or anything, just never believed in it (although I was raised & baptized at 13) so when I was 17 I started breaking ties with the JW's.
closer
My loss and giving was done in the group. When I left, there was a sound, sort of like pulling a stuck boot out of the mud. It was like getting rid of everything bad in my life all at once.
I would much rather be just leaving now in 2003 with a computer on my lap, than when I left back in 1973.
I left nothing of value back there. GaryB
I should probably add that changing my name, taking my 2 children, moving far away-no notice or forwarding address, and shunning, if you will, everyone I knew for over 2 yrs gave me a great headstart with a clean book to write in. Difficult? yes! But I can't express fully how worth it it all was! Also, years later, 2 of my childhood friends are now better friends than before and also one of my sisters (all ex jw who chose to leave on their own) - people I can now count on as real, loving friends. Plus a long list of others who have never been associated whom we all consider each other as family and living lifes we choose with no judging or self-righteousness involved.
Allowing the "Borg" to force me out and take away from me just was not on my agenda list. That new self created blank book was just what my sanity required.
Not knowing what your special circumstances are...I hope this has been of some help and encouragement.
