My thoughts on our online community.

by The Rebel 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    I will start this O.P by a review of the mental conditionI I find many former or current witnesses at when they join the board :-

    1. Broken relationships.

    2. Lonliness/ depression

    3. Guilt / shame

    4 Stress/ fear

    So for many it takes a great deal of courage to awaken, and I believe the fear of rejection of family and friends is the hardest stumbling block for many in leaving. However fortunately the Internet has given isolated members the opportunity to exchange doctrinal views and personal fears. Of course doctrinal views can result in heated debate, but the online community is also a place to listen and learn.

    As for myself I occasionally debate on more controversial subjects, but I usually stop posting on a thread when I find it becomes to cut throat ( translation, when I realize I am making a prat of myself) Anyway my point of the OP is this board can be a wonderful social experience, it's fun joking in debates and even having a laugh, but if your are at the early stages of leaving,I think it's best to use the board as a friendly community to assist with the stress/ fear of leaving.

    I say this from past experience, because when I joined I started some controversial posts,and I often made some rush statement, and not by nature being an argumentative person I realized I wasn't helping myself at that stage in my recovery by posting. I then changed my tactic and started OPs that were more relevant to my personal circumstances and I received very thoughtful messages from people who I had never met, and who didn't know me from Adam, and I felt I really got the benifit of an online community.

    So in conclusion in my opinion we can get what we want from this online community, by deciding when we benifit from being armchair readers, or deciding if we want social activity and friendly support. But if we want to engage in heated debates, we need have the stuff to back up our arguments and my final lesson never post late at night after a few drinks:-)

  • Ruby456

    I don't come for myself anymore

    the most inquisitive group amongst jws going online are young people - teens I think as they are seeking independence and often turn to online communities for social life. I think we need to be aware of this group too and it is with this group in mind that I often come here cos I want, in the little time that I have, to show how interesting and rewarding curiousity can be. So I do engage in heated debate but try not to become heated myself

  • Chook

    We are just damaged sheep, we all have been half slaughtered emotionally from the cult. If I think I can speak for most even though I haven't been here long , is that people as a rule do what they want. It's just some people take longer to break free from different control factors. All victims of a war zone have some emotional damage .Ours was a religious war ( we all remember the pictures in the old revelation book ). In conclusion we are all united in our unique religious torment from a slick book publishing company turned realestate mogel.

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    Ruby456 " The most inquisitive group amoungst jws going on line are young people-teens ..."

    What a captivating thought, for in my case as a teenager I thought I new it all, or at least more than most. Instead I was just a young lad, who would have made a lot of mistakes if I had awoken to the truth as a teenager.

    I think for a teenager maybe the best way to go about leaving is to do the boring things like playing snooker, having a coffee with friends from work, and thus gain a new social network . Getting on the moral high horse, and loosing your family and "friends" by telling everybody it's a cult is not the way. That's why I would advise come here for support first, and maybe be an armchair reader on more controversial subjects, then when you feel you really have the stuff to support your arguments test the water. However debating is a skill that takes time to learn and therefore it's so no shame to walk away from a discussion and question how you can better defend your viewpoint next time.

    Just my opinion.

  • rebelfighter


    Then there is always that other group of us who was really stupid enough to get involved in a relationship with a JW. He never talked about his religion or his beliefs for five years then I asked a question and started a debate. That got me LOL an email "good bye have a nice life ". So I ended up here to find out what are JWS and found a great support system.

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    rebelfighter, I am glad you found a community here, a support group,and from a selfish viewpoint, I am glad this " rebel" found a person in hyperspace I have come to see as a real person whom I admire.

  • mrquik

    It's been 7 years since I realized TTATT. Had 50 years in the cult & of course, I experienced all of the above. But time does cure most (not all) of the separation symptoms. I've remarried a wonderful woman which took care of # 1& 2. As for # 3 & 4, it took several years but I realized it wasn't me that had a problem. Now I'll walk up to former members I meet, say hi & wait for a response. I get great satisfaction in " reverse witnessing". As they are not "friends or family" it doesn't bother me at to watch them squirm, mumble a response or skulk away. Now I have the truth & I wield it quite deftly. After all, I was taught well by them to do so. So for those who are just starting their journey out, keep your heads up, keep moving forward. It does get better. As I always say; Live Well...Enjoy Life !

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    mrquik " As I always say: LIVE WELL...ENJOY LIFE! " and may I add Spocks immortal words " LIVE LONG AND PROSPER"

    I am glad you found a wonderful woman, but remember nice people attract and your new wife found a wonderful husband. As for anti witnessing, witnesses are like women, they are everywhere but very few are we compatible with. And when we are married those other women we talk with, are just small talk anyway. So to translate I am not dedicated to anti-witnessing unless they have nice legs :-)

    O.K before the dislike button is pushed " the nice legs" mean they are not superficial witnesses, umm I am putting myself more in it, but thats because the 18 year old teenager is still in me....and that's what teenagers say sometimes, silly things on a discussion forum, but it's only part of growing up.

  • rebelfighter

    Thank you Rebel, I always enjoy your post as well.

  • pale.emperor

    I dont know where i'd be without this site. Im a regular visitor. No one else would understand what we're going through and we can use JW loaded phrases without having to translate them to layman terms like we have to when speaking to "worldly" people.

    I've learned so much and seen so much evidence - which is more than the Watchtower ever did.

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