Witness weddings

by dothemath 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • darkspilver

    What was that with a "wedding shower"? It is not the custom here thank goodness and I thought such displays of materialism were frowned on ...

    Yeah, totally weird - that's why I posted it

  • blondie

    Long time since I've been to a jw wedding....but it was Mr. and Mrs................

    man and wife

    husband and wife

    I have seen that difference

    Bride and groom were sister and brother before the wedding....unless one married a non-jw....so what is the change?

    Still have wedding showers around here. That's an antiquated idea from before the 1970's not to have a shower. There is even a QFR about that. Issues about signing the card with the gift maybe.

  • blondie

    Watchtower 15th May 1952 page 319-320, Questions from Readers. The splitting of sentences and highlighting in bold is my doing.

    Does the Society approve of well-meant showers held preceding weddings or childbirths? Should the gifts be displayed along with an identification of the givers?-M. F., New York.

    The Society does not disapprove of properly conducted showers. But it is not good to get shower-minded, and involve the Lord's people in a spree of them. It is easy for one or two to touch off a series that can become an endless circle of showers. It can burden the brothers, take their time, and their money for gifts they cannot always afford. You may say no gifts are necessary, but the custom calls for gifts and the majority will bring them, and it would be embarrassing to come empty-handed. Now there is certainly nothing wrong with giving gifts. Done spontaneously, it is commendable brotherly kindness and sometimes shows real Christian concern. There is some Scriptural obligation to note those of our brothers who are in need and to help them. We may use a shower as an occasion to help, but we do not have to wait for such occasions, we do not have to fit our giving into such customary times and seasons. Help is sometimes needed at other times. We should give when the need arises, and to those for whom the need is acute, and do so spontaneously, unsolicited by shower invitations that obligate us to give, whether the recipient is in need or not.

    Should the givers be identified with their gifts? Why should they? Surely those giving the more expensive gifts do not seek public acclamation. It might embarrass the poorer brothers who must give more modest gifts, and perhaps cause them to spend more than they can really afford. So why magnify the rich and humble the poor, even if it is unintentionally done? (Jas. 2:1-4) It is not Scriptural, this publicity to gift and giver. "When you start making gifts of mercy, do not blow a trumpet ahead of you, just as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be glorified by men. Truly I say to you, They are having their reward in full. But you, when making gifts of mercy, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing." (Matt. 6:2, 3, NW) If anonymous giving were practiced, would the gifts be as expensive? Would the giver spend beyond his means, if he were not identified with the gift? That would truly measure the unselfishness behind the gift. Such giving pleases God.

    One final point of utmost importance, whether it is a shower or wedding or reception or just a friendly gathering of witnesses. Control the activities so that some edifying results.

    Silly games are for babyish people; mature Christians have advanced beyond them, left them behind.

    Sexually suggestive or passionate dancing to blaring jazz is not for Christians, though proper dancing and music cannot be condemned.

    When Jesus attended a wedding feast he used the occasion to glorify God, performing his first miracle, the turning of water into wine. (John 2:1-11)

    And we can be sure that he did not get in any line to kiss the bride either-so we leave such woman-exalting practices back in the creature-worshiping world, where they belong.

    Instead of any such looseness of conduct or excessive use of food or drink, we should control activities and regulate entertainment into profitable channels, such as the singing of Kingdom songs, playing Scriptural quiz games, relating field experiences, and so forth.

    Not only will such things be a proper relaxation for us and get us better acquainted with one another, but they will be helpful to persons of good will that may be present and impress them favorably with Jehovah's people.

    So we say that there is nothing wrong in properly planned showers, and those who attend should not be criticized by those who stay away, and vice versa. Be moderate in the number held, the giving, the enjoyment of material food and drink while there, and make them spiritually upbuilding. Always remember Christ is our model. (1 Pet. 2:21) He did not consume too much time on such things, did not make a showy display of giving, did not become gluttonous or drunk on such occasions, or at any other time. When at social gatherings he used the occasions to God's glory, but he did not book up his evenings with parties and exhaust himself socializing. It was his zeal for Jehovah and the preaching work that consumed his time and energy. So it should be with us, balancing our various activities proportionate to their importanc

  • zeb

    My memories of such are excessively large crowds; one cong marrying another cong; swarms of kids running amok into the food before thanks being given; Adults all sitting around dressed up so beautifully and only dancing with their immediate family, and by half way through the night all the babies bawling their heads off and wanting to go home. This one because no jw seem to have anyone they will leave their kids with for a few hours. One elderette changing her babys nappy (diaper) on the bridal table.

    The weddings themselves followed the same giddy pattern with the celebrant almost breaking into a watchtower half way through.

  • alanv

    The thing that annoyed me at witness weddings was how the congregation just remained seated as the bride came in. I asked an elder about this and he said well its kinda like worshipping her if we stand. I said of course its not it is just showing respect.

  • blondie

    alanv, I grew up with a non-jw father so went to many non-jw weddings...we never stood up, just turned around and watched her come down the aisle.....

  • nonjwspouse

    Christ as the model....everyone was invited to a wedding. A wedding was a great feast and cerebration! Christ turned the water to wine, and everyone enjoyed themselves.( drunkenness does not = drinking some wine.) Drunkenness = excessive, which is bad in any form. JW's are excessive in quite a few ways I can think of, can't you?)

    JWs are such hypocrites when it comes to emulating Christ.

  • stuckinarut2


    This was and is one of the biggest things that pissed me off about witness weddings! (Even when I was a fully in witness)

    It is common practice here in Australia for the speaker to say "bro and sis".

    At our wedding, I specifically asked our speaker (A bethel branch committee member) to NOT use that expression. He was stunned that I would ask that, but conceded thankfully.

    It is just plain weird!!!!!!

  • respectful_observer

    At our wedding, I specifically asked our speaker (A bethel branch committee member) to NOT use that expression.


    Yeah, I was just at a wedding where the bride and groom had to specifically dictate the same. The speaker was more than willing but several elders there clearly had their noses out of joint over the whole ceremony. They'd been hassling the couple over all these unwritten WT ceremony "requirements", so they just said eff it, and found a non-elder friend to give the talk instead. The talk got rave reviews, but curiously the elders all huddled together afterward and didn't have a thing to say.

  • Mr Negative
    Mr Negative

    When my brother got married in the UK last March, "Brother and Sister..." was used. I, and a few other non-JWs, just found it funny rather than weird. But it does take away from the supposedly serious moment somewhat.

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