First Xmas? Or older traditions? 🎄

Theonlyoneleft

Is anyone here doing their first Xmas this year?🎄🎄

I LOVE Xmas! Almost around the corner and I’ve started thinking of all the prep needed for family time.

I don’t care much about the religious side of it... was something that my mum did as I recall some happy memory that I still hold dear. Mum was not a witness, she studied but left... older siblings got baptised and are IN still today.

When I was young-ER Xmas was celebrated with my mum and siblings that “pretended “ not to care much about the Xmas tree or the fantastic Xmas meal as well as the huge table mum laid out in Xmas eve. Yummy.

We were poor, didn’t really have loads of stuff (mum held three jobs to make do) but Xmas was something else!!!....as my mum was a chef and fantastic pastry chef the table would be gleaming of goodies that she spent the day working on...... as extras, of the Xmas customers orders to be able to DO Xmas for us.

My two siblings were baptised witnesses by then and for them there was nothing more revolting than have to sit through dinner.... Xmas dinner!... ah ah ah... And they had to eat it too! Lol 😂

They used to say that this was just a dinner to them, afterwards they would refuse to open presents straight away as trying to make a claim that they were not interested in those shiny wrapped presents. 👀

They would finaly say “Well if someone wants to give you a gift then it’s ok to accept it.”

Last Xmas with mum and siblings this way was in the late 90s. From there on... there was a time that I didn’t bothered with Xmas) (my poor kids!) but I’ve been doing it without fail since 2004.

Yesterday made 15 years that mum passed with cancer..... no one remembered her... siblings all quiet. 😔

I couldn’t help to think of the good times that she tried to bring us all together despite all the jw rules applied by my older sibling (yes!... 😡 implemented shitty rules like the elders were on her shoulders!).

Mum got a tree, I decorated it with younger siblings and we ate like kings. And... we got gifts. I could tell those nasty bullies at school that actually I was not a weirdo... I had a Xmas too just like them. Xmas day 25th was spent with my grandparents, cousins and aunts and uncles. Some more great food followed with socks, underwear and some lavender goods. I hated lavender and couldn’t be bothered with those silly gifts ( I really wanted toys) that my grandma gave me but I how much I miss it all now.

Xmas times for me is a time to get together with my kids... no one else of my family does Xmas. They stay away.

I hear friends plans to visit family, gifts concoctions between them, family travelling in...and makes me so sad that every time I tried to share my holiday plans or traditions the response is just a silent answer over a telephone call or a change of subject. I still shared but awkward! Well... if I can stay quiet and pretend to hear that joh-boh- loh-bah dedication prayer over that visiting meal...( not anymore HAH HAH) then you can hear my tedious plans of Xmas gifts list!

I love Xmas time because I’m building happy memories for my children and traditions for them to have in the future to pass on to their children one day.

is anyone celebrating Xmas first time this year?

If you don’t... what do you normally do over the holidays?

if you did as a kid...what special traditions do you recall?

over to you. 😊

LongHairGal

THEONLYONELEFT:

I am glad you love Christmas..I was raised Catholic so I had Christmas and loved it and I am grateful I had my holidays and a relatively ‘normal’ childhood. I didn’t become a JW until my twenties.

We weren’t overly religious in our house so it was mostly a traditional Christmas - with Italian cooking and baking.

I love the colorful lights, decorations and smells of baking. I also love the smell of pine. It was a magical time for us as children and I loved helping to decorate the tree. We also got together with relatives and those were happy times.

I know it’s not the same for many ex-JWs who cannot get into it and I’m sorry.

smiddy3

Xmas from what I can see is like a two edged sword ,on the one hand are the religious people who focus on the birth of Christ and what it means to them and on the other are secular people who just like a party atmosphere where familys can come together enjoy the occasion and exchange gifts.

I`ve been down those two roads sadly for my 2 children

Growing up a non JW enjoying Xmas till I was 20 ,getting converted and then married having children and denying them Xmas , because of some assholes in America and my stupidity / naivety .

blondie

I grew up in a family where my non-jw father celebrated xmas with his "worldly" friends, and my jw mother went along with saying that she could not disobey her "husbandly head." Not that my father spent his money on us, but gave gifts with strings to his non-jw friends. The non-jws were so kind to us, making sure we received gifts, but as children we had no money to buy gifts. So we made gifts or helped them around the house with their projects. We liked decorating the tree as well and singing the traditional songs. Not much church involved because these non-jws were not so religious. I do remember having different traditions, that the idea of Santa grew out of.

I still like decorating and consider it a winter thing without the solstice celebration. I love making the traditional foods, not fast food so can't do all the time. Love the smells. Sort of like US Thanksgiving. The turkey is the star not the Pilgrims and the convenient history (not true history). Or peeps at Easter. Not such much Halloween, though I enjoy giving candy to the kids that come by and their creative costumes, especially the little children (accompanied by their parents who get candy too).

Many holidays are designed for children, so I can understand ex-jws that grew up in a jw family, might feel the time has gone past to enjoy holiday customs. But I feel it is not just for me, but to share in the joy and giving that can be part of it.

iwantoutnow

We started 4 years ago.

Oddly it has already lost its appeal, even the kids are not really into it this year.

It different when it wasn't a part of your whole life I think.

Biahi

I grew up with no Christmas due to this cult, but I made my own family traditions through the years. We decorate the tree, give presents, etc. one thing we did when our daughter was small, she could open one gift Christmas Eve, it was always Christmas themed pajamas which she wore to bed that night, so in the morning, I got cute pictures of her in those PJs opening presents!

HiddenPimo

I am excited to be celebrating for the first time this year. I have bought my first tree / lights / wreath and I am going all out in this. Lots of my non-JW family and friends are providing me with support and ideas. Some of you may remember growing up in the cult like myself and the emotional trama of missing out on all the fun and family times together. Funny all the JW's loved that time of year the sights, the sounds, the smells....

No more 'thank you' in response to Merry Xmas or Happy Holidays...I get to say it right back to the general public and workmates....I am so hyped....

blondie

I have seen some new ex-jws (or PIMOs) who are excited to celebrate Xmas. Some find new ways that fit their family. Others feel it is not as they imagined it would be, perhaps disappointing. I learned being in a family where the father was not a jw, that Xmas did not solve problems in your family that existed during the other 364 days. I used to think if my mother had really celebrated, had a tree, did the food, bought gifts, etc., our family would be happier. That would not have changed anything in my family dynamics. So if celebrating for the first time, or since your parents became jws and stopped celebrating when you were young, don't buy into the commercial hype. Find what you see could enhance what you and/or your family already have going for you.

I consider Xmas a way to get me through the long winter, to find something good to do with the snow and treeless landscape, a way to add beauty to our home, and food and smells that bring hope to my heart, to continue through the year. What is that festival, Festivus, a way to add humor.

road to nowhere

A friend's mother made efforts to involve me in little things. Treats, decorating tree, presents. The things that nake a warm family atmosphere. Same for Halloween, new years ( drunk), b days all that. My parents were not severe by any means, mom i think was pimo and dad ran afoul the good old boys club. I remember going to b day parties. A well off cousin owned the rental k hall space in a little town and had new years parties there!

Look at Thanksgiving for the best compromises, about the only time for a family reunion

DesirousOfChange

We have discussed that we really have no desire to celebrate Christmas. Perhaps we "missed it" as children raised as JWs, but I don't recall that being the case. As far as our kids, I don't think they do either. They never "missed out" on anything. It just wasn't given as "Christmas" gifts. I still think it's way too commercialized to the point of being the most extreme example of "greed" on a regular basis.

JMHO

First Xmas? Or older traditions? 🎄

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