Hi Jes9087654. I can relate to what you are experiencing. Here are some ideas that might help you.
- You do what is called fading. It involves gradually reducing your involvement with the religion. Examples are gradually reducing time in: field service, meeting attendance, and commenting at meetings. You can also resign from the Theocratic Ministry (or what ever it is now called), without telling anyone why you resigned.
- You can re-establish (or strengthen) social contact with your non-JW family members and with wholesome non-JW friends you once had.
- Take care of your health. Do what you reasonably can to prolong your health span and your lifespan. Study reliable sources of information about what can be done to prevent health problems and to cure health problems.
- You can do a number of things which Vanderhoven7 recommends.