by pistolpete 12 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
It hard to believe------you don't have the TRUTH.
Sometimes, for many----it takes HALF of your life -- or more---to figure it out
It was like swimming upstream with lead boots pulling you back in
And the closer you got to the "Real" TRUTH----the further away you strayed from your intimate group
It's an unpleasant journey-------when you wake up by yourself.
I just had my epiphany about the truth a few months ago and have been miserable because I am still on the fence about things. I feel torn. I can’t imagine losing my family and friends. My husband died of leukemia, he refused blood. That has been 7 years. I have been in 12 years. I now see the truth differently, I feel like I got duped as a young woman. I wasn’t raised In The truth my husband was. I have so far raised my daughter in the truth. She is 7 now. I now see so many things wrong with the truth, organization, with some of the doctrines, the light getting brighter. Since I have been baptized it has been nothing but pressure and anxiety to be good enough to be in. I feel like I got brainwashed and have been living in a bubble. I am afraid of leaving because it is all I have known as an adult. I’m here because I am scared of the change it will be in my life. If I don’t da myself how can I keep on living such a lie. Just keep on being unhappy inside but staying with my with my family I’m new to this forum and I’m not even sure I am posting this in the right place. Can anyone relate?
It takes time to figure out what to do. That being said, don't do anything drastic like Disassociate. All that will do at this point is cause you to lose your entire network of support,which is not a good thing.
If I don’t da myself how can I keep on living such a lie. Just keep on being unhappy inside but staying with my with my family
You can be happy by knowing that you are working on some type of plan which in many cases takes quite a while. For some it takes years.
In the meantime just enjoy the nice things of being with family and be patient because the journey is usually kind of long.
Keep doing research but don't feel like you need to make any drastic changes immediately that you will regret later on.
Like the video, it takes a while to get your things in order.
I had a gut feeling something was not quite right for a long time. My waking up coincided with when high speed internet became available in our city.
I’ve taken the pimo route. I can play the game fairly well it seems. I’m happy now and that’s what counts. I do enough so the elders don’t harass me but not enough so they want me to do more.
Hi Jes,
Welcome to the forum. The WT lied to you about God, our health, salvation, proper relationship to governmental authorities.... its a very long list.
When a person leaves the WT, the person has to start over, from the beginning and rebuild a value and belief system.
JWESCAPE.com has a YouTube Channel where the WT and conventions are examined critically from a common sense and Christian point of view.
The owner, Elaine is a 2nd gen JW born-in who hasn't seen her mother in 30 years. I would recommend starting there. Lots of good folks there and in their private FB group.
Dear Jes,
Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. As a Christian Bible believer I am hoping your faith in God will be strengthened as your faith in men and their claims diminish. Men will abandon and shun you if you DA yourself. That is to be expected. If you decide to fade you may find some help from a poster on this forum who wrote the following on Escaping From JW Land.
“I am Physically In Mentally Out (PIMO) and for years have struggled with how to break free from JW Land since it has defined my whole life. Over time, I have determined you need to approach it somewhat like a large project and here is my summary project plan that some may find useful when "the truth about the truth" becomes a reality in your life.
God bless,
Vanderhoven
Hi Jes9087654. I can relate to what you are experiencing. Here are some ideas that might help you.
- You do what is called fading. It involves gradually reducing your involvement with the religion. Examples are gradually reducing time in: field service, meeting attendance, and commenting at meetings. You can also resign from the Theocratic Ministry (or what ever it is now called), without telling anyone why you resigned.
- You can re-establish (or strengthen) social contact with your non-JW family members and with wholesome non-JW friends you once had.
- Take care of your health. Do what you reasonably can to prolong your health span and your lifespan. Study reliable sources of information about what can be done to prevent health problems and to cure health problems.
- You can do a number of things which Vanderhoven7 recommends.
Hi everyone. Thank you for responding to my post. I agree that this is going to be a very long process. It has been months already and I still feel I am not ready. I am attempting to just try to be normal with my family. I am even seeing a therapist. She has helped me to confront all of this. I realized almost two years ago that I needed to get an education and am still attending college. I raised a lot of eyebrows at Kh when I decided to go to school. But I just figured out that these people aren’t paying my bills and I had to do something to get out of my financial rut. I have only recently learned about the term PIMO. I hate to be living that way. I don’t want to waste too much of my life on staying in and trying to please everyone. It’s just so hard to leave family behind. I have made it a point to read the Bible all over again and see what I get out of it. I still believe in God I’m just at a loss with what comes next. I wouldn’t even want to go to another church. It’s seems like it’s all crap. I don’t have the desire to celebrate holidays or birthdays, I could care less about those things. Also, the death of my husband weighs heavy on me. I think of being wrong about leaving and the resurrection or afterlife or whatever it is. It makes me wonder is there really something else or was this really it. So many things to think of and to do very slowly. I have realized what a long process this will be.
Thank you all for letting me vent. Its hard to find people who understand what this is like.
I was born-in as a Witness. It wasn't until my late 20's/early 30's that I faded, though not by choice. I was in my mid 30's when I realized the Watchtower sold a bunch of made-up non-sense.
My biggest support has always been my wife. Not being financially reliant on a Witness and have non-Witness friends is the key to getting out. By the time I woke up I had so many friends who are not Witnesses and my Witness friends had already turned their backs on me.
I have so far raised my daughter in the truth. She is 7 now.
You owe it to her to spare her the pain the religion can bring for so many.
The funny thing is, it's only after you leave that you realize that it takes more effort to keep going than to stop going. It sounds so obvious in hindsight, and you wonder what you'll do with all the spare time (but don't worry, it's easily filled with worthwhile pursuits)
