Hey man, feel for you. A wall of words but I hope it helps somehow...
Was in a very similar position. Me and wifey were born-ins. She was the most uber of all her siblings and we got married young. I had doubts from age 12 onwards but never confronted them. I was always scared as to what the outcome would be.
My wife and I were married and life was good. Then a lot of shit kicked off in my old Hall and it made loads of doubts resurface. Resurface so strong that I no longer cared what the consequences were. I raised it with my wife and she just saw me as mentally diseased. Eventually I felt so trapped I wanted out. Out from the hall, out from the dubs, and if she wanted them, out from my marriage.
We separated as her family, and one sibling in particular kept pressuring/supporting her. My wife eventually said that if I didn't change and love the truth again, that she no longer wanted or loved me. We were done. I no longer found her attractive, just as some cult-twisted person that I would never have married had I thought straight. I got d'fd and thought that was that.
Once we separated, I tried to get on with my life. It was lonely but i manged, made lots of new friends and invested in ones that werent as strong as they could be. But I realised that deep inside her was a person I loved, I missed her. I immediately went on the love offensive. .. and I told big fat fucking lies.
I told her I still wanted in, that it was still meant something. At that point I thought it's not THE truth, but I'll put up with it. We got back together and moved. First meeting back as a d'fd person in a new hall and I clash with the PO and another elder. Fuck it, I can't do it.
I faded but this time put up no resistance to her. But this time I was goin to get in her head and destroy her misplaced faith in this shit.
I worked out her faith had nothing to do with beliefs, just that it was all she had ever known and all her friendships were in it. I set about getting her to spend less time in ministry by planning day trips out etc. Eventually I allowed them to creep into meeting time as well. Then I made her arrange meals with her work friends and tried to covertly limit her time with the sibling that caused so mamy problems. This sibling was always in the background (still is! ) pouring her poison in, so I had to kill it.
Once I'd weakened these sup ports to her faith I kept letting her catch me on web sites that showed the true side of the organisation. Nothing apostate, just Christian sites that attacked JW''s and official sites like ARC, UN, news outlets covErin paedophilia. Once that had been done, I let her catch me watching Geoff on the ARC. I asked if she recognised him, she said yeah. I said it's interesting what he''s saying. That she should watch it, see one of the GB letting his light shine, that it could only build her up. 😉😈
She was hooked and watched every second in disbelief. Boom, we all good now 👌
My point is, don't think it HAS to end. If you love her and want to be with her then try and get her out. It may not work. My mum is deeper in since I've tried 🤔 If you don't want it, cool, move on. But don't think it has to end. You may be able to roll a dice and win. It is tough and the reward is amazing. All the shit and disrespect I had to go through has been replaced by what I think is my wife's complete respect and admiration. Have no regrets. If you want her it's not guaranteed, but it's also not impossible. Attack carefully and corrosively the sup ports if it's what you want. If not move on and don't take up anymore of each others time.
Blog over 😂😂😂