JW Parents getting... DIVORCED
It has been quite some time since I've posted, but a lot has happened. I am still with my boyfriend (mentioned in my past and very first post!) Life is going well. Recently mom and step father showered me with new cookware, wasn't exactly sure why but, heck, I'll take new cooking tools. I have not been close in communication with them since leaving the org.. Just last month though, they came to me through text and said, "Hey Raven we're going to have to drop you from our health insurance policy, the health insurance will not carry someone that doesn't live under our household." I immediately called BS, according to HHS.gov a child is able to stay on their parent(s) health insurance IF, they are under 26 years of age, married, not living at home, financially unable to obtain their own health policy. So that being said, I knew that was not the truth. I came to them with the facts and they went back on their lie to, "well we just can't keep you because it's gone up 15%". I ended up going through my employer.. Now the following week, more fun! I get a phone call in the middle of a Friday afternoon at 3 from GEICO to tell me, "Your parents would like to remove your car from their insurance plan so I can help you obtain your own individual plan" What the heck is going on here? I didn't ask questions, I said let's figure it out, and obtained my own individual plan. I thought to myself, why are they kicking me off of all the insurance plans? Perhaps they showered me with gifts (cookware) to prepare me for the blow? Especially since I'm not in the borg anymore, they'd figure, remove me from everything attached to them since I'm apart of the world now? Seemed like a reasonable thought! Until today, Friday, I get a text from my unbelieving grandfather, "You hear about the latest drama? I said, "No, what's going on?", "Your mom is getting divorced." WHAT? Why? How? WHAT? I can't even believe this, so many thoughts, now maybe they got me off of their health plans because of the divorce? Makes sense right? Now that I think back, I did know that she had been trying to live a healthier lifestyle.. Gym, workout, eat healthy, and she was starting to look great physically, what if she met someone at the gym? Job? Something? As you all know, the few basis of divorce in the cult would be adultery, or abuse.. By no means is stepfather abusive. I texted her and said, "You ok?" She replied with, "I'm fine, my choice not his, moving out next Friday." Wow.. Any thoughts? Do you think this could have been catapulted throughout the past 2 years since I left the org?
People get divorced. JW's pretend they are less stricken with divorce, but that really just isn't so.
I would just use it as a reason to be tighter with your mom. She'll need an experienced ex-JW to lean on as her JW friends will not be so kind.
I'm glad to hear that you're doing well, and it seems like you're taking everything with good spirit. Happy to hear more, plus this is a great place to vent.
Thank you for sharing. Who knows how many others may be going through similar situations.
Now that I think back, I did know that she had been trying to live a healthier lifestyle.. Gym, workout, eat healthy, and she was starting to look great physically, what if she met someone at the gym? Job? Something? As you all know, the few basis of divorce in the cult would be adultery, or abuse..
A similar scenario with the congregation I was associated with some years ago. A very prominent "Sister" in the congregation who was employed with county legal services, very intelligent and quite attractive but not at her physical peak. Over a period of months she lost weight, regained her figure and became very attractive. Then suddenly, one evening at the meeting it was announced that she was disfellowshipped. Her husband, an MS, was quite distraught. I was with the elder who was consoling him that evening and discovered that she had left her husband to pursue a relationship with another man. While I had seen other cases prior of young "sisters" being DFd for promiscuity I had not seen a case like this. Maybe it isn't such a rare thing...
From the evidence you presented, it's quite likely your mom has met someone who rings her bell better than your stepfather. Just sayin'...
I hope you are handling it OK raven
.In my experience with the JW`s in over 33 years ,I was surprised just how many couples got divorced and re-married again .I was associated with about 6 congregations in that time and one sister had been married 3 times that I know of.
Now that I think back, I did know that she had been trying to live a healthier lifestyle.. Gym, workout, eat healthy, and she was starting to look great physically,
Actually that is a good indication that someone has found someone else or is looking for someone else,it`s not so uncommon .
1.) You are a grown woman, living outside your parents home with a boyfriend. Why are you complaining about not being on their health insurance? Frankly, that is YOUR problem. At your age, you should NOT be dependent upon mommy and daddy for everything, especially car insurance! So frankly, them cutting the cord on that is WAY over due.
2.) Your mom probably got sick of your stepfather treating her like crap. Always at the Kingdom Hall? Very little affection or sexual intimacy? Sick of his crap? Getting more attention outside of the home, then in? C-ya, loser! Can't ask someone to remain miserable forever.
If the insurance was through your step-father, I could see that ending.
Same story with my ex-wife (who was never a JW). Gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and kept it. Until the youngest was 6. Then she lost all of it and started looking great. Then out of the blue, she wants a divorce. I find out that she's contacting ex-boyfriends on FB, sexting them, visiting them. For her, I think it was a mid-life crisis.
Sorry to say, your mom probably has got some other guy already or is wanting to. I'm a little pissed from my own situation, but there are so many women that are just no good at relationships. Men too, but I've never dated one, so I can't speak from firsthand experience. If you're an unhappy wife, talk to your husband. If there's issues that can be fixed, try to fix them. Go to counseling. Make sure he knows how you feel, that there are issues that threaten the marriage, and what's going to help. If it still fails and he didn't help fix the issues, he knows why. Or maybe she didn't give him a chance. She just cheated. WTF? Where are the people who never cheat on their S.O.'s? Why is the first instinct to go with what's right in front of you without regard to loyalty? Is that gullibility? I know it can be kind of flattering for somebody new to pay attention to you. But there are so many players that say the sweetest things but after they've slept with you, they're usually gone soon afterwards.
If she's getting a divorce as a JW couple, somebody cheated and it sounds like it's your mom.
Sorry about all the changes...life is hard sometimes when you've chosen to keep your head out of the sand. The jws try to make everyone think they never get divorced, but they do. Happens all the time. It happened with my parents too, when my brother and I were teenagers. Again, sorry. I know this is rough.