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Part 1:
Psychological Issues of Former Members of
Restrictive
ReligiousGroups
Jim Moyers, MA, MFT
(While this article was originally written for
psychotherapistsworking with ex-fundamentalists,
it
should be helpful for anyone whohas been involved
with
a restrictive religious group.
Restrictive religious groups, characterized by
rigid
beliefs,authoritarian structure, rejection of
mainstream culture, and atendency to isolate
their
members from outside influences that mightlead to
questions about the group's teachings, come in
many
formsfrom fringe cults to well established
churches.
While the experienceof individuals involved with
so-called cults that clearly deviatefrom
established
religious practice has been extensively
discussedin
both popular and professional literature, there
is
relativelylittle recognition of the similar
issues
presented by thoseaffiliated with more
restrictive
forms of mainstream religion suchas can be found
in
Christian fundamentalism.
Shattered Faith
There are many people who find membership in such
groups to be apositive experience. This article
is not
so much concerned with themas it is with those
who,
often after a great deal of inner turmoil,leave
such
groups. Many, especially those who had been
intenselyinvolved with their religion, experience
what
has been called the"shattered faith syndrome"
(Yao,
1987). Having lost faith in whatwas once a
primary
source of meaning and guidance, the
formerbeliever is
apt to feel lost and overwhelmed.
Estrangement from thecommunity of believers - the
focus of social life for most membersof
restrictive
religious groups- compounds the former
member'sisolation and despair.
The psychological effect of membership in a
restrictive religiousgroup often persists long
after
the outward severing of ties. Theremay be a
chronic
sense of dissatisfaction coupled with difficulty
infinding new sources of meaning and direction.
Formermembers are aptto distrust their own
judgment,
and may feel despair in theirinability to
recapture
the certainty that they once experienced in
unquestioningly accepting the group's teachings.
Fundamentalistgroups tend to view pride in
oneself as
sinful. This is internalizedas the persistently
negative self image that is apparent in
manyex-believers.
Sexual inhibitions, compulsions, frustration,
andguilt
are liable to linger on long after negative
beliefs
about sexhave been consciously rejected. Having
been
taught to regard everyimpulse as potentially
evil, the
former group member may have littletolerance for
spontaneity and lack the means for
genuineself-expression.
Conditioned distrust of the world outside
thecommunity
of believers coupled with the experience of
disillusionmentwith teachings that once seemed
infallible can present seriousobstacles to
joining any
group or making lasting commitments.
Issues Of the Former Member in Psychotherapy
Ex-members of restrictive religious groups RARELY
COME
INTO THERAPY WITH THEIR RELIGIOUS PAST AS THE
PRESENTING ISSUE. They are ofcourse subject to
the
same pathogenic factors as everyone else: sucha
background is not an all-inclusive explanation
for
every problem aformer member may present. But as
the
work of therapy proceeds,unresolved conflicts
involving past beliefs sometimes becomeapparent.
Religious conflicts should always be approached
from a
carefullyneutral position. The therapist must
walk a
fine line between thetraditional psychoanalytic
bias
against religion as pathological onone hand and
naivet
about the potential of some religious systemsfor
undermining a healthy sense of self on the other.
Even
thoughthe client may claim to have rejected her
or his
former beliefs, thetherapist should remain
neutral.
Emphasizing negative aspects of aonce strongly
held
way of being in the world may trigger defense
ofsomething with which the client is still
unconsciously identified.Criticism of past
beliefs may
be misconstrued as criticism of theclient for
having
believed them.
There may be shame in having onceaccepted as true
things that now seem untenable.The former member
should be encouraged to look at the positive
aswell as
negative aspects of having belonged to a
restrictivereligious group.
It is often helpful to approach the involvement
asa
developmental stage that was important, in ways
both
good and bad,in shaping the individual's life. As
with
any other developmentalstage, the restrictive
belief
system was eventually outgrown. Butunlike most
other
life stages, there is rarely a readily
apparentnext
stage for the former believer to move on to. This
is
especiallytrue with groups that actively
discourage
awareness of other systemsof thought and
lifestyles.
Group members may know nothing aboutother
religions,
the humanities, or modern critical thought.
Education
in schools operated by the group, where all ideas
arefiltered through the shared belief system,
tends to
increase socialand cultural isolation. Thus the
former
member may be unaware ofalternative approaches to
spiritual and existential questions.Support for
spiritual and philosophical explorations, in
contrast
tothe limits set by the former belief system,
will
help validate theclient's capacity for
independent
thought.Without the unequivocal pronouncements
that
once guided them, formermembers of restrictive
groups
are apt to feel lost and confused.
Inany transition, there is a naturally occuring
period
of time betweenthe collapse of old beliefs and
their
replacement by a new set ofguiding principles.
Kuhn's
(1970) account of the disorientation thatoccurs
when a
scientific viewpoint once thought to be
definitivefails to fit emergent facts can be
applied
to the similar confusionthat comes with shifts in
religious belief.
Bridge's (1980) conceptof an "empty" middle phase
in
transitions is also helpful innormalizing the
ex-believer's sense of confusion and inner
emptinessas
a natural part of the process of moving beyond
outmoded viewsabout self and the world.
The tenets of a restrictive religious group serve
as
the primarysource of meaning and self definition
for
its members. In departingfrom them, the former
believer loses what may well have been thecentral
focus of her or his life.
As with any loss, there is anassociated grief
process
which, however, often goes
unrecognized.Acknowledging
losses as well as gains in leaving the group,
andnormalizing the depression the ex-member may
feel
as a naturalresponse to the loss can go a long
way
towards helping him or hermove through the
necessary
grief process.
Ex-believers often feel doubly misunderstood and
isolated. Familyand friends who remain in the
group
are likely to have littletolerance for the views
of
anyone who has rejected their beliefs.People who
do
not share the same background are not likely
tounderstand the intense and long lasting effects
of
having oncebelonged to a restrictive religion.
Often
the connection betweencurrent life difficulties
and
past religious experience is notapparent even to
the
former member.
Fundamentalist doctrines emphasize human
imperfection,
maintainingthat there is no possibility for doing
good
without the assistanceof divine grace. Along with
the
loss of idealized images about thegroup and its
leaders, the disillusioned believer also loses
whatwas
believed to be the only hope of salvation. Self
esteem
basedupon association with the group and its
"sure
truths," is seriouslyimpacted when one no longer
belongs to the group.
I have foundJung's (1965) concept of the self as
an
inner, transcendent sourceof healing and
wholeness
that is often projected onto institutionsand
their
leaders useful in helping people reclaim aspects
ofthemselves that they may have given away to the
group. In addition,Jung's psychological awareness
of
spirituality and account of hisown struggle with
religious beliefs can be very helpful
forindividuals
seeking a new way to understand their
religiousexperience.
In therapy as well as in other relationships, the
projectionsformerly carried by the group and its
leaders are likely to appearin the form of
idealization or devaluation, with the two
processessometimes alternating. Ex-believers may
need
to test a relationshipto see if they are at risk
for
another painful betrayal.
Therapeuticprocess often revolves around
reclamation
of the personal authorityonce given over to the
group,
and now perhaps projected ontosignificant others
as
well as the therapist.The former believer may be
very
adept at unconsciously meeting theperceived
expectations of others. Denial, repression,
splitting,
anda false sense of self are often well developed
defense mechanisms.
The black and white thinking expressed in such
conflicting pairs ofopposites as God vs. devil,
church
vs. world, sin vs. righteousness,leads to
repression
of anything that might possibly be construed
asunacceptable. Constant self monitoring and
rigid
self control, alongwith confession of every sin
in
prayer, may have been regarded asthe only means
for
avoiding divine condemnation.
In the literalismcharacteristic of
fundamentalism, an
"evil" thought or feeling isconsidered just as
sinful
as an evil act.
Impulses and feelings maybe believed to be
demonic in
origin. The former group member islikely to need
frequent reminders that there is nothing
inherentlyevil about negative feelings, and the
fact
of their existence doesnot mean that they will be
acted out.Strongly held beliefs greatly
complicate
family dynamics when notall family members share
those
beliefs. Unlike former members of"cults" whose
families likely opposed their group
membership,individuals who leave fundamentalism
often
leave family membersbehind.
People who have left religious groups to which
theirfamilies still belong will need support in
coping
with the anger,pain, and grief of being
misunderstood
and judged. They will alsoneed assistance in
maintaining a personal philosophy that
clasheswith the
deeply held beliefs of family members.
Family interactionscan become dominated by the
well
meant attempts of the "faithful" topersuade their
"lost loved one" to return to "the
Truth."Conversely,
the former believer's desire to win family and
friendsover to his or her condemnation of the
group is
often as strong asthe desire of those who still
belong
to bring her or him back intothe fold.
Dysfunctional family patterns are sometimes
hidden
behind theidealized image of the religiously
affiliated family, an image thatis apt to fail
when
faith in the church is lost. The discovery
ofpathology
in one's family presents yet another challenge
topreviously held beliefs.
Adolescents from families belonging torestrictive
religious groups often rebel through gross
violations
ofthe strict moral codes that have been
prescribed for
them.
Sexualacting out, running away, and substance
abuse
may represent attemptsto establish autonomy in
the
face of overbearing parental andreligious
authority.
Divorce and bitter child custody disputes,based
in
black and white conflicts over transcendent
values,
oftenoccur when one spouse leaves a restrictive
religious group while theother remains.
While not all groups go so far as to prohibit
contactwith those who leave, a former member is
unlikely to be wellregarded by the faithful.
Conclusion
Psychological issues of formermembers of
restrictive
religious are unique in the degree to whichthey
involve past religious belief and experience. It
is
importantto remember that what may seem to be
eccentric ideas and practicesare likely to have
been
very important in shaping the formerbeliever's
life.
In addition to the usual goals of
psychotherapy,former members may need assistance
in
exploring lingering religiousconflicts, as well
as
support in seeking sources of meaning andguidance
more
congruent with current beliefs and lifestyle.
References
Bridges, W. (1980). Transitions. Reading, Mass.
Jung, C.G. (1965).Memories, Dreams, Reflections.
New
York: Random House.
Kuhn, T.S.(1970).The Structure of Scientific
Revolutions. Chicago: University ofChicago Press.
Yao, R. (1987).Addiction and the Fundamentalist
Experience. New York:Fundamentalists
Anonymous.Earlier
versions of this article appeared in
Psychotherapy,
TheCalifornia Therapist, and Cultic Studies
Journal.(c)
1999 James C. Moyers
Part 2:
Signs of Unresolved Trauma
A Pattern of out-of-control and self-injurious
behavior
Self-destructive addictions
Intrusive thoughts, images, feelings and
nightmares
Flashbacks
Extensive comorbidity/multiple diagnosis
Inability to tolerate feelings or conflicts
Intense self-blame and feeling unworthy
Staying stuck in the victim or perpetrator roles
Disorganized attachment patterns
Black and white thinking and other cognitive
distortions
Pathological dissociation
Suicidal ideation
Signs of Unresolved Grief
Prolonged and excessive guilt
Sudden outbursts of anger/excessive anger
Recurring or long lasting depression
Caretaking behavior
Self-mutilation
Emotional numbness or constriction
Grief Triggers
Anniversaries
Holidays
Age-related
Seasonal
Music
Rituals
The Process of Healing from Trauma & Loss
Acknowledging the loss
Telling the story and sharing the pain
Accepting support
Connecting current behavior with the original
wound
Separating the past from the present
Creating a new story; integrating the trauma into
the
context of one's life with new understanding
Part 3:
Common Psychological Problems of Mind
Manipulation:
The following problems and emotions are common
with
survivors. These are all normal emotions and will
pass
as you recover.
Keeping a journal and sorting one's overwhelming
feelings is most healing and helps work through
feelings of betrayal and abuse.
Finding someone to listen non-judgmentally and
empathetically to your abusive experience is also
a
vital part.
Feeling of Spiritual Rape of the Soul
Enormous Feelings of Betrayal**
Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - [trauma
becomescrystallized a few days after a traumatic
event, such as exiting acult] (several of a
cluster of
symptoms can develop, includingspontaneous
crying,
suicidal thoughts, emotional numbing,
phobias,social
withdrawal, flashbacks, amnesia, anxiety,
depression,
shame,guilt, self-loathing, fear of going
insane.)
Identity Confusion/disorientation (the pre-cult
personality--or realself--struggles with the
in-cult
personality that was imposed by thecult) (there
can be
difficulty integrating the cultic world with
theoutside world)
Dissociation (not being in touch with reality or
those
around them;inability to communicate)
Floating (getting triggered into cult mode,
flashbacks
into the cultmind-set; thoughts of returning to
the
cult)
Panic and Anxiety Attacks
Obsessive Thoughts
Depression
Psychosomatic Symptoms (head/backaches, asthma,
skin
rash, lethargy)
Problems or Inability in Making Decisions
(because of
thedependency fostered by the cult)
Inability to Concentrate (with short-term memory
loss)
Fear ("What if I am wrong?" "What if harmful
events
actually dohappen?" "I can't ever be happy
outside the
group." Includesphobias & fear going crazy
because of
"floating")
Grief & Sense of Loss (grieving loss of
innocence,
idealism,spirituality, self-esteem, pride; sense
of
purpose, meaning andbelonging in life; support
system;
friends and family lost in cult;loss of time,
goals
and youth.
Guilt/Shame (for getting involved, for the people
they
recruited,things done while in the group; for
leaving)
Lack of Trust (of group situations; deep
suspicions
about othersmotives and attitudes)
Intense Loneliness (strong & unique bonds were
forged
in the cult)
Sense of Purposelessness & Disconnection (missing
the
peakexperiences of the group)
Sense of Isolation/Alienation ("No one
understands
what I amgoing through.")
Overly Critical of Oneself and Others (due to
incorporating theharsh attitudes of the cult
leader)
Seeing Everything in Black and White (cults do
not
teach to lookfor the gray areas)
Problems Having Boundaries (boundaries were
violated
time andagain in the cult until one lost sense of
which boundaries wereappropriate)
Lack of Self-Esteem & Feelings of Worthlessness
(cult
leaderscontinually blame members)
Sleep Disorders (including nightmares and
insomnia)
Eating Disorders
Sexuality Problems
Fear of Intimacy and Commitment
Harassment and Threats
Anger or Rage (toward the group & leader; towards
oneself;suppression of anger in the cult actually
contributed to depressionand sense of
helplessness)
Problems with Career or Employment (because of
years
in thecult; lost job opportunities, etc.)
Family Issues
Spiritual (or philosophical) issues
Impatience with the Recovery Process**
Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder: Judith
Herman
(author ofTrauma and Recovery), along with others
likes to use the this term forpeople who have
suffered
prolonged, repeated trauma. This disorder canbe
the
result of months or years of subjection to
totalitarian control.
Compiled by Dee and Mike
Exit & Support Network