It's really amazing when you pause, take a step back and look at the big picture. For me, prior to 2010, the governing body and the org could do no wrong. I always had subdued doubts about certain things, but for the most part, I ignored them.
It's really amazing to me, too. For example, I look back to times when I thought CO's could walk on water. I looked up to them, thought they had advanced knowledge, wanted to impress them, etc., and now they disgust me. I see a bunch of punk (they seem so young now), naive, goody-goody company men.
And, it wasn't long ago, that, although I saw problems with the org, some travelling brothers, etc., I thought the members of the GB were humble, extremely knowledgeable, intelligent, dignified men... and now they disgust me, too.
It really is all about the money, isn't it?
I'm believing that more and more. I also now believe that the org is all about just ensuring its own survival. It doesn't care about deceiving people and taking their lives; it just wants to promote itself and sustain the jobs and lifestyles of the higher-up members.