I dont know how i can leave my family! (page 2)

Heartsafire

Black Wolf,

Hiya:-) When I was your age I got a scholarship to a college, and I ended up turning it down cuz of my JW parents. I am 35 now, and I kick myself for not taking the scholarship. Even my parents have a new outlook on college these days and they respected my decision to get a degree later on in life.

The lesson here is to seize the opportunities life hands you when you are young! You may never get those opportunities again! Life is too short to be unhappy, and this religion is changing all the time. Perhaps what your parents may shun you for today will not be a shunning offense tomorrow. So, live your life for you.

You are not responsible for your parents happiness or God's happiness--only your own. Make each day count, and say yes to every opportunity that comes to make your future better.

HAF

freeandcontent

You shouldn't remain in if you don't want to. However you leave it will be hard. When I left at 18 the hardest part was been alone as I didn't know anyone outside jw land as my parent's were strict. My advice would be to try and have a good nonjw friend so when the time comes you have someone you can talk to, as well as this forum of course which is full of people with experience and help. Take care

stan livedeath

Hi black wolf.When you turn 18... Just stop attending meetings and door knocking....and wait for your parents to make the first move. Then react accordingly. What do you really think they I'll do about it....kick you out of your home?

KateWild

Blackwolf,

You have a dilemma and it's difficult because you really love your parents. Sometimes they leave too.

My daughter started having doubts the same time as me and so did my son. We all left within months of eachother

Kate xx

talesin

Hi, BW. I had that talk with my mother, just after I turned 18. And yes, she gave me the boot for not believing. She even had me DF a few years later.

Bide your time, and you're not baptized, right? Maybe they will let you stay at home, if you keep a low profile about your issues with the religion.

You're being home-schooled, if I recall? Are you getting the proper curriculum, and will you graduate? If I were you, I would focus on getting the most out of my schoolwork that I could right now, and staying underneath the radar with the religion. Try not to get mom too worked up.

Now, the possibility of being 18, and on your own. It can be done, and especially if you are healthy, and determined, you'll be okay. You also have the support of this community, which is HUGE.

Don't live in fear of what may happen. Prepare for the worst-case scenario, and hope for the best. Be realistic, and know that you have the right to your own life. The happiness of your mother is NOT your responsibility - you are your OWN PERSON, and she has no right to selfishly live her dreams through you.

I'm happy you came to the forum for support - you can do this! xx tal

talesin

Hi black wolf.When you turn 18... Just stop attending meetings and door knocking....and wait for your parents to make the first move. Then react accordingly. What do you really think they I'll do about it....kick you out of your home?

Stan, I know it's hard to wrap your head around it, but that's exactly what may happen. :'(

TTATT_Paladin

Black Wolf, become the WHITE SHEEP of the family.

stan livedeath

@ Tal

Stan, I know it's hard to wrap your head around it, but that's exactly what may happen.

yep--i know--exactly what happened to a friend of mine--shes mid 40's now--her dub dad kicked her out at 18 when she stopped--she was a baptised pioneer.

but i would imagine its very unusual. blood is thicker than water.

DesirousOfChange

Just keep making plans to leave. ~ Village Idiot

Exactly. That's what people do as they mature and become adults. They leave home.

That is not the same as "leaving The Troof". You don't have to "LEAVE" The Troof. You can just slow down, and become irregular and then inactive once you are out on your own. That happens all the time, and not just with people who have awakened to TTATT. Many, many (former) JWs have just "tired out" and quit going. You can too.

You don't have to go out and get caught up in the "quagmire" of "The World". It does not sound like you want to do that. Just grow up and become an independent person and do your own thing with your life. While your parents might be shocked if you quit "cold turkey", in most cases that I've witnessed, parents deal with the gradualism of kids or other family "fading". Don't speak bad of The Troof. Don't get caught up in immorality or anything that would allow you to be DFd if you want to have a successful "fade".

Good luck,

Doc

The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life! -- Just do it!

Doubtfully Yours

You do not have to quit being a JW; just cool it slowly. Community, family and friends are very worth the tiny sacrifice (in my case, of course).

My hubby, family, and life-long friends are so very worth it. They are the nicest, most wonderful and fun people I could ever be surrounded by in this journey of life.

DY

I dont know how i can leave my family!

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