poem I wrote when I was 13...................goodbye cruel world......... (page 3)

suzi_creamcheez

Goodbye cruel world -- Love iT!! Share the angst, I say. Let's all share poems and rants here!

Jesika

Awww thanx Estee, nice to know I was missed honey. I havent posted much lately, havent felt the need to, but I am still around.

To everyone who read this and can relate to it, I can re-read it so many times and just remember what a confused and desperate teen I was and wish that noone would have to feel that way. Writing for me has always been an outlet........I hope that every teen or anyone who feels the way I once did has an outlet (a healthy one).....cause it truely helps.

Thanx again for taking the time to read it.

Love,
Jes

smack

I'm with Jess on this, we all should read it regular. We can all help someone else

berylblue

Jes, how you doing, sweetie?

Jesika

Blue..........I am doing just fine...........and you?

micheal

That really is a very nice poem Jes, and yes very very glad your here

Jesika

Thank you Micheal................I wrote it so long ago and wish I had the original........I thought the original was much better written......but it was thrown out when I ranaway from home.

I tried to recall as much as I could and that was the closest I came to.........glad you liked it and thank you.

Jes

eisenstein

(((((((Jesika)))))))

Long time no hear...

That is a very touching poem, I can't believe you remembered all of it, what a brilliant mind!!! I am so happy you are here today to share the poem with us. And congratulations on your new marriage...I wish you all the happiness in the world! I read somewhere back that you and pr_capone were engaged. I would like to send you guys a gift if possible.

This poem really touched my heart, I like to write to but not too much lately, back in June I took 300 pills of ibuprofin and about 10 advil liquigels and some other medicine I had on hand. I was in such a dark place and the medicine wasn't working fast enough, as I lay there thinking I started having second thoughts and went and made myself vomit, my roommate had called also and noticed I sounded really groggy. Thank God, when she came home she called my doctor and she told her to go get some Ipepic (sp?) at the drug store. Anyway, I am still here to tell about it. My niece jumped out of her boyfriend's truck back in June 1993, I guess it still is a hard month to get through, she was so talented, she could write poems and play the piano, she was only 20 when she died, she had lost her baby of only 10 months, 6 months previously and I guess the pain was too much for her to bear. She was definitely a vital youth lost through the cracks, failed by so many people in her life including me. I wish I could turn back the hands of time, because the last time I saw her was in 1988.

I am sorry I wrote so much detailed sorrow, but I feel that I can relate to you and I think you can understand.

take good care of yourself

eisenstein

Jesika

Eisen.............just goes to show I know nothing............I thought you were a guy.......LOL.

Honey...........I have too lost many...........as many know........I was a stripper for a long time.........and I have seen people kill themselves..........whether they walked across a highway drunk and didn't make it across or OD..........it is not easy to deal with life in the least..........but those of us who do..........should be proud of ourselves.

I will say this............it took only ONE thing for me to not do what I wanted so much at that point in my life............and what it was and still is.....................I don't want THEM (whoever them or they may be) to win...........I am a fighter............not that those who chose to do what I was thinking of doing aren't strong.......but for me..........I just couldn't live or die with knowing they won. I wanted to live to prove them wrong in every way.........that I can live and be happy.......no matter how long it would take.

I am still trying to deal with life..........life is hard.........and that is something I have learned to deal with. Not that I am any kind of expert on it...........but it has taught me a lesson...........you are dealt cards..........and you have to play them as you get them. Not always what we need or want..........but have to "deal" with what we are dealt. The way we deal with that is what makes us who we are.

This is my life.............and I didn't choose it..........but that is what I was "dealt"............and so.........it is ME who has to "deal" with the cards given to me..........I dont want to forever "deal" with the "victim" card.........so it will be ME who changes it.

I am a pesimist..............but I WANT to change it.............so it is up to ME to change it.

I hold my head up HIGH!!! Cause I am the ONLY one who can make that change..........and I WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been through enough............and so have YOU..............so hold your HEAD UP HIGH..............you are better for it!!!!!!

You have to LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!! before you can love anyone else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUCH LOVE and support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jes

eisenstein

(((((((Jes)))))))

Thank you for the encouraging words!!! Sounds like you have been through a lot and you have come a long way. Life is hard as you say and like you I don't want to play the victim anymore.

Keep writing, Jes. You are very talented!

eisenstein

poem I wrote when I was 13...................goodbye cruel world.........

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