Explaining JW Beleifs To Non JW's

by pale.emperor 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pale.emperor

    My new girlfriend asked me over dinner last night what JW's believe. As i sat there explaining it i realized how ridiculous it sounds and was slightly embarrassed that i used to believe this crap for 31 years.

    Try and read this and imagine hearing it for the first time...

    Me: Well... JW believe that God's name is Jehovah and that his son is Jesus Christ. They believe that Jesus died on a stake and not a cross and that in the year 1914 he personally chosen the JW's as his one true religion. This was his 2nd coming which they think really happened but they couldn't see it because it was invisible. They believe that there's 6 men in New York that Jesus chosen to be his mouthpiece on earth and they make all of the decisions as to what we're supposed to believe. They believe that Jesus isn't the mediator for you and me, he's the mediator for those 6 men in New York, and that OUR mediator is the 6 men in New York so we better do as they say without question. They have no doctorates or degrees from any university or theological establishment. They believe that at some point in the future Jesus will come to the earth and slaughter all the men, women and children who didn't become JW's.

    If you're a good JW you might... might... survive this cataclysm. But you can get kicked out for committing sins such as celebrating a birthday, Christmas, defending someone's right to have a same sex relationship, allowing yourself or your family to have a blood transfusion, me sitting here in your home having dinner (they'd assume we had sex), and... oh yeah, disagreeing with what they print in their magazines and books.

    Her: .................................................what?

    Me: Yes. (embarrassed)

    Her: What book do they use?

    Me: The bible.

    Her: And all this is in the bible?

    Me: No, it's in their magazines.

    Her: So what about me? I've never hurt anybody.

    Me: You'd be destroyed in Armageddon because you didn't become a JW.

    Her: And what about you?

    Me: Im an apostate. I've committed the unforgivable sin. So even the blood of Jesus wouldn't save me.

    Her: Thats messed up... cake?

    Me: I'd love some, thanks babe.

  • rebelfighter

    Never a JW here. Well Pale.emperer you can now imagine how I felt when I started researching the JW beliefs since the "Elder" I dated for 5 years only told me we do not believe in the cross and do not celebrate holidays. I asked a question about his beliefs and got a "good bye have a nice life" email.

    What a messed up religion, you are in a good place now. Enjoy the rest of your life. You are FREE. Show them how great life can be on the outside looking in. Protect your little precious one as much as possible from the cult.

  • stuckinarut2


    And just wait till you start explaining the really crazy things the society has taught;

    Bethsarim. All the ancient "worthies" would be ressurected to live in a mansion in the hills...oh but when they didn't come back, Ruhtherford got to live there in luxury with Cadillacs!

    And that's just one!

    The there's the "fact" that by measuring the dimensions of the great pyramid, the time of Armageddon is "proved"!

    Or that women's brains are lesser in ability than males.

    Or the funny ones such as , the book of job prophesied about steam train locomotives!

    oh, the list goes on....

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    i like your seduction technique pale one

  • rebelfighter


    "Or that women's brains are lesser in ability than males"

    When I came across that video as a worldly person I just about flipped out. I could not believe that in this day and age someone would possibly stand before a crowd and say those words. I actually had to watch it a couple of times because I was in total shock. Do these idiots not realize how many extremely powerful women there are in this world?

    But now nothing that comes out of these idiots mouths from NY would shock me.

  • WingCommander

    Tights pants and Spandex were created by homosexuals for the sole purposed of exposing everyone's genitals in public so that Homo's could get off secretly. No joke! TOMO III said it, so it MUST be true! (he said it with a sly grin, and ranted about it, so what does that tell you about TOMO III?)

  • Crazyguy

    Yeah I remember telling a couple people at work about the religion and they all say the same thing "that's fu@ked up"! To funny but at the same time it's depressing that we once believed this crap.

  • sir82

    Don't forget:

    -- Teeth and claws of predatory animals were created to "shred dense vegetation"

    -- Teenaged girls are similar to cows in heat

    -- the 7 trumpets of Revelation were Bible Student conventions in the 1920s

    -- the United Nations will somehow suddenly gain enough power to "destroy false religion"

    -- 100% of the earth's surface was completely submerged under water, for a full year, just 4400 years ago

    Etc. ^ 100

  • jws

    That's a lot of explaining. As most people are familiar with Christianity, I just tell people that they believe that Jesus is God's son, not god and that he has already come back and any day now is about to kill all of the bad people except for Jehovah's Witnesses and turn the earth into a paradise like Eden. And all of the good JWs who've died will come back to life. And they will all live forever on earth.

    And then I might throw in something like "oh, and they don't celebrate holidays or accept blood transfusions".

    Most people don't really care about every aspect. Just about the basic things that make them different. If they ask more, I'll tell them more.

  • LifesNotOver

    jws - mind if I nitpick? It's not all the good JW's will come back to life, it's - all those who have ever died will come back to life (except for a very few really really really bad people). That's probably what you meant to say.

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