My new girlfriend asked me over dinner last night what JW's believe. As i sat there explaining it i realized how ridiculous it sounds and was slightly embarrassed that i used to believe this crap for 31 years.
Try and read this and imagine hearing it for the first time...
Me: Well... JW believe that God's name is Jehovah and that his son is Jesus Christ. They believe that Jesus died on a stake and not a cross and that in the year 1914 he personally chosen the JW's as his one true religion. This was his 2nd coming which they think really happened but they couldn't see it because it was invisible. They believe that there's 6 men in New York that Jesus chosen to be his mouthpiece on earth and they make all of the decisions as to what we're supposed to believe. They believe that Jesus isn't the mediator for you and me, he's the mediator for those 6 men in New York, and that OUR mediator is the 6 men in New York so we better do as they say without question. They have no doctorates or degrees from any university or theological establishment. They believe that at some point in the future Jesus will come to the earth and slaughter all the men, women and children who didn't become JW's.
If you're a good JW you might... might... survive this cataclysm. But you can get kicked out for committing sins such as celebrating a birthday, Christmas, defending someone's right to have a same sex relationship, allowing yourself or your family to have a blood transfusion, me sitting here in your home having dinner (they'd assume we had sex), and... oh yeah, disagreeing with what they print in their magazines and books.
Me: Yes. (embarrassed)
Her: What book do they use?
Me: The bible.
Her: And all this is in the bible?
Me: No, it's in their magazines.
Her: So what about me? I've never hurt anybody.
Me: You'd be destroyed in Armageddon because you didn't become a JW.
Her: And what about you?
Me: Im an apostate. I've committed the unforgivable sin. So even the blood of Jesus wouldn't save me.
Her: Thats messed up... cake?
Me: I'd love some, thanks babe.