All J.W. parents are forced by the Org to regard their disfellowshipped children as if they were dead, non-existent - even if their child was in dire straits. How do such J.W.'s feel when they hear that it's OK for elders to try and encourage disfellowshipped ones back to the Org, but they can't?
What the Org Says: km 8/02 p. 4 par. 12 "Cooperating with the scriptural arrangement to disfellowship and shun unrepentant wrongdoers is beneficial. It preserves the cleanness of the congregation and distinguishes us as upholders of the Bible’s high moral standards. (1 Pet. 1:14-16) It protects us from corrupting influences."
e.g. - yb91 pp. 53-54 - "A publisher in Norway was calling back at a house where previously no one was home......As he was leaving the house, the householder with his family arrived........The publisher was invited in and then was told by the wife that she had been disfellowshipped several years earlier because of smoking. Now she wanted to come back to the congregation, but she believed it would be difficult because she had been away for so long. The brother, who is an elder, advised her on what steps she had to take."
w91 4/15 p. 23 pars. 13-15 - ".....there may be disfellowshipped or disassociated ones who would respond to a merciful approach made by the shepherds. But how might the elders handle this matter? Once a year at most,...... the body of elders...........would focus on those who have been expelled for over a year......it is appropriate, they would assign two elders to visit such an individual. No visit would be made on any who evidence a critical, dangerous attitude or who have made it known that they want no help.—Romans 16:17, 18; 1 Timothy 1:20; 2 Timothy 2:16-18. The two shepherds could telephone to ask about making a brief visit, or they could stop by at a suitable time. If the person is interested in returning to God’s flock, they could kindly explain what steps he should take, such as reading the Bible and publications of the Watch Tower Society and attending meetings at the Kingdom Hall. These elders will need wisdom and discernment to determine whether there is indication of repentance...... After the visit, the two would give a brief oral report to the Congregation Service Committee. They, in turn, would inform the body of elders at their next meeting."
But What Does the Bible Really Teach? According to Jesus Christ, disfellowshipped ones were to be treated the same way as if they were "an unbeliever and a tax collector", (Matthew 18:17 - Holman Christian Standard Bible) namely, not to regard such ones as close friends or associates but as people whose way of life was not aligned with Christianity. Jesus never uttered the word 'shun' once! Jehovah's Witnesses don't shun unbelievers & tax collectors, do they? What Bible verses or "principles" allow elders to talk to disfellowshipped ones with impunity, whereas non-elder J.W.'s could face being disfellowshipped for doing the exact same thing with the same motives?
If a disfellowshipped J.W. lives at home, "God's" law doesn't apply, but if they move out and into a house across the street, they must be treated as a dead person.
Surely "God's" command must be obeyed to the letter by everyone!
Of course the reply will be that an elder's faith and knowledge will be strong enough to enable him to talk to an ex-J.W., but a J.W. who is not part of the appointed-men class would be far too weak and gullible to do so. Evil & perverse dogma.