Your opinion about dating sites?

by nevaagain 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • nevaagain
    nevaagain

    Thats the issue here, in contrast to my screenname I am not really sure what I am going to do for the rest of my life. Stay in the JWdom or not. I picked my screenname 15 years ago and I am still in, so what does this say about me? (Rhetorical question ;-) Since JWdom is all I know, the "outside" worlds feels a little cold a the moment. But that might change, once I learn to know some new people.

    They say that jw women outnumber available men, but a lot of these jw women are already married to unbelievers or are elderly where their jw husband already died. I am not too sure anymore if the jw women in a appropriate age for marriage really outnumber the available men.

    As I said before, I still have a lot of questions and I need to find my place again and get over my marriage, so dating women (either jw or worldy) might help or even speed up the process so thats why I asked about dating sites and if anybody already had any success with it.

    Just to try to explain my current mindset, I am very dissapointed with life in general because I thought that our marriage can last forever. I really thought that I had married my soul mate. Seeing that our marriage was basically a lie (how can somebody go from "I love you and I want to be with your forever" to "we shouldn't have married in the first place because we don't fit" in a matter of months?) for now I just want to determine my current "value".

  • DJS
    DJS

    Never,

    Based on your emotional and psychological states, you would be wise to avoid anything associated with romantic relationships right now.

    Do not under any circumstances date a dub.

    As you state you still have a dub mindset about such things, which means you aren't suited to have casual, physical relationships - without wanting to bring a U-haul on the 2nd date. Or at least after you've seen her naked. Both are big mistakes. People are complicated. And when I say people I mean girls. Women are extremely complicated.

    And with many gulls, i mean girls, that isn't just lipstick on her beak when she shows up on your doorstep. It's also twigs and other nest building stuff.

  • just fine
    just fine

    Women aren't that complicated 😀

    Until you get your head untangled, keep it casual. I found that joining groups where there was a common interest - like community sports leagues were a great place to make new friends and have some fun. Also volunteering - I did work at the animal shelter and found it to be soothing to help something that was more helpless than me. These activities also took up time so I didn't sit around thinking about JW stuff.

  • FedUpJW
    FedUpJW

    So I will likely get down votes as my opinion is not really PC(apologies to you single women who do not fit what I see as the majority of JW woman), however as a self supporting, financially secure man who has been single for a number of years I have noticed that JW females of a reasonable marrying age fall into two main categories. Those who are married and out of the dating "pool", and those who are single for very good reasons. They are more so than any other group of people either mentally unstable and heavily medicated, have ill behaved children, the woman is just looking for a meal ticket, or they are physically unhealthy (obese, chronically ill etc.)

    As a man who is very active, enjoys the outdoors, has a tidy nest egg built up and am self employed I am not interested in the JW pity marriages that are seemingly required by most members. I enjoy the recreational and intimate company of healthy, active, fit women who are not JW drones, and are also financially secure. So as far as "dating" sites I would stay clear of them too.

    Get out and about, go where the type of woman you wish to spend time with is, and to hell with the JW busy bodies who will always find an excuse to gossip about you and try to guilt you into acting like they demand. And any elders who try to rule you with FOG, tell them to FO.

  • GrreatTeacher
    GrreatTeacher

    I agree with freddo. Go where the girls are, even (and especially ) if it's stereotypical.

    My husband and I met in this fashion. I decided to go to work in construction. All of my coworkers were male and I had my pick!

    Interestingly, my husband had pursued a similar tactic in high school. He joined the cheerleading squad. He found his place at the bottom of the pyramid and said he enjoyed the view very much!

    We've been married for 23 years.

    It really is a numbers game. The more you meet, the more likely you are to find a good match for you.

  • DJS
    DJS

    Go where the girls are is good advice, is it? Then tell me why none of the girls I've met at the strip clubs have turned out to be keepers.

    Fun yes. Keepers no.

  • Stealth
    Stealth

    Take a year off from dating anyone.... spend the time deprogramming yourself from the JW cult. Once you complete that, then consider dating again.

    I met my wife on Match.com. We only lived a couple miles apart but would have never met each other without match.com

    Good luck!

  • flipper
    flipper

    NEVAAGAIN- My condolences on the dissolution of your marriage- been there, experienced that . It's never easy , hang in there. Your statement : " The JW world feels so small sometimes..... "

    Exactly, solution : Get out of the JW world and broaden your horizons with a larger variety of women. There are many nice women out there in non-JW land to meet and get to know.

    Have I used dating sites ? Yes, successfully. My wife and I met on E-Harmony.com and have been together over 10 years now, very happy. I dated a few ladies before I met Mrs. Flipper my wife- and most of them were very polite who I met on E-Harmony- it's just that I didn't click and connect with them on all levels like I did with Mrs. Flipper. The right person is out there for you- you just have to be patient and take your time - you'll find a great lady if you don't rush it and are patient. Take care and I wish you the best of luck ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • GrreatTeacher
    GrreatTeacher

    DJS, may I suggest a knitting club instead?

  • DJS
    DJS

    Great Teacher,

    Yes. You may. Can you think of one with a lot of ex strippers and Lindsay Lohan types?

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