Give me 5 minutes to explain...

by pixel 19 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  pixel

  Hello all. I keep thinking about the time I will "come out" and tell my wife about this sick cult. I don't know when that day will come, but knowing me I will seat down with her and ask her for 5 minutes to explain to her why we as a family has to get out.

  My question is: what will you tell somebody in 5 minutes, that will convince that perdon that this is not a good religion to follow and that we have been deceived?

  will you talk about JW's as false prophets? The many flip-flops? Wrong Bible interpretation? The New light game they play?

  What will you say to a person if you only have 5 minutes?

  Many thanks!

  Pix.
  
• 

  _Morpheus

  Absolutely nothing. Not a single word, phrase, speech or diatribe can, in 5 min, undo cult programing.

  MAYBE you can lay some groundwork. MAYBE you can start a discussion that will last months (if your lucky) or years (if the relationship lasts that long) but positively will not accomplish your goal in 5 min.
• 

  cappytan

  I think it depends about the person you're talking to.

  For me, doctrinal stuff probably would have worked best. (It's what eventually woke me up.)

  For my wife, it was the child abuse things she couldn't excuse. Specifically that branch representative stating that the congregation's "protection was a spiritual protection" not a physical one.

  I think it's different for everyone.

  Perhaps lay some groundwork before you ask her for the 5 minutes. Innocently ask her, "If there was one thing you could change about Jehovah's Witnesses, what would it be?" That might give you a clue as to what part of the organization's policies she's sensitive to. In fact, she may even ask YOU what you wish could change. It might open up a good dialog.
• 

  bohm

  pixel: It depends who the person is, if it is an outsider or someone who is in (like your wife). In your situation, i would *not* prepare a five minute talk and most *definetely* not with anything critical of the org. I think I would tell her about my doubts and ask her if this was something she felt you two could talk about and if so how. I would not tell her my full state of mind immediately.

  Have you read books about cults and mind control? (for instance Steven Hassan?).

  If you want to prepare to talk to her, a book i might recommend is actually "A manual for creating atheists". I don't know if you are christian or not and (despite the title of the book) I don't think it matters for this purpose. If you look beyond the "atheist street preacher" aspect (and idea which I think is pretty silly btw) I think it contains some good practical advice for talking with people about faith using the socratic method (which Steven Hassan also recommends) which is useful for undermining totalitarian faith-based views like the JWs.
• 

  DesirousOfChange

  There were many things that I kept ignoring, but the final straw for me was the realization that:
  

  There is no evidence that they have God's Holy Spirit directing them.

  1) Failed predictions (1914; 1925; 1940's; 1975; Before end of 20th Century); "Millions Now Living....." (are dead)

  2) Doctrinal flip-flops (Holy Spirit does NOT make errors)

  Deuteronomy 18:20-22

  Luke 21:8

  And, the "brazen" misquotes in the literature to support the WT doctrines. If something is true, one does not have to lie to support it. If it is NOT true, then it is A LIE. (What else are they lying about?)
  

  Good luck,

  Doc
  
• 

  bohm

  cross-posted with cappytan. I want to underline what cappytan pointed out, that you need to figure out what "works" with your wife and reach out for here where she is.
• 

  stuckinarut2

  "Honey, a person in the community asked me this (or a return visit). _______________. I'm just not sure how to respond. What do you think?"

  Just make sure it is a valid point that would strike a chord with her.
• 

  wwjdnwt

  That is not going to be easy. I have tried the five minute explanation on several of my JW family. What I did that has helped at least 2 was to get a list of Bible verses that have been changed . I put the list of Scriptures and what they said on one side of the paper..on the other side the same scripture on how they should be. I also went ahead and told them that the gospel is simple and it doesn't take the watchtower to explain it to anyone. Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, believe that He died for your sins, shed HIS blood and took your place. That He was buried and raised back to life and He. Your sins are forgiven if you believe in HIM. The JW's always quote that scripture about the wages of sins is death. But they always leave off the other part of the same scripture...The BUT the gift of God is ever lasting life to all who believe.(Romans 6:23) Nothing in the Bible says that you have to know if there is a hell or exactly who the 144,000 is, or any of the other doctrines to be saved. That is NOT a requirement. I also love the verse in Ephesians 2:8-9..For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. It plants the seed..and God makes it grow.
  
• 

  pixel

  Thanks for the comments! I'm thinking like in some cases somebody is committed to some cause, and all of the sudden somebody else comes and make a great revelation and bang! Lights on!

  I will keep exploring and waiting for my time to disconnect her from this monster.
• 

  The Searcher

  You'll know what will or won't work for your wife, but for the vast majority of Witnesses, questions are gentler and will produce better responses, rather than statements which stab people's hearts.

  Pick out important topics which you've researched and have the proof for, then ask her how she feels or thinks about it. You may be pleasantly surprised.

  I'll be astounded if a discussion over 5 weeks would convince your family it's time to leave the cult.

  Give them time and space, and take it easy with them - they'll get it.