Just thinking.....i

by Bigdummy 8 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Bigdummy

  I made a couple of comments the other day on this forum and I hadn’t realized it had

  been so long. My history shows I joined 3 years ago. I’ve been looking on this forum

  but I just felt like viewing other people’s posts since I had been thru a lot of the same

  things. But I laid in bed about 3 hrs last night ready and thinking. Even though we all

  on here went thru a lot of the same problems and disappointments I guess some

  have different slants on how they were affected. I had to get out. I thought I was

  going to go crazy and lose my mind taking in all this drivel. My wife went to the

  hall this morning and I stayed home. She is totally in for the duration of her life. She

  has friends in the congregation and they call each other. I had friends on a condition-

  anal basis and I knew that. I call no one and no calls me except my family and very

  few friends. I’m fine with her situation and I’m fine with mine. We don’t talk jw stuff

  and we’re fine with that. She has 100% faith in the wtbts and I don’t mention it any

  more. She knows about the ARC and the child abuse cases and cash settlements

  because I brought them up a while. That was a sore point for her and did not want

  me to ever mention it again. I wouldn’t feel right about trying to dismantle her faith.

  That’s her faith to believe and do what she wants to do with it. If at a future date

  she sees the real deal I’m not going to say I told you so. Everyone that critically

  thinks will at one point start to see things differently. Everything I believe I can as-

  sure you is not right but I also don’t demand you believe me under penalty of being

  shunned. We’ve been married almost 50 yrs and have always pulled together as

  one except on the jw issue. I always felt sorry for the ones at the Hall who set there

  with dead eyes and nodding and bopping their heads with agreement at anything

  that came from the platform. Scary and unnerving really. Several widows there

  who seem to have no life in them and then all the other drones who are hanging on

  for dear life hoping, just hoping they can endure to the end of their natural life so

  maybe, just maybe they can make it back in the resurrection. A lot of people look

  unhappy and physically in pain and they drag themselves to the Hall because it’s

  so much better to be there instead of listening on the phone don’t you know. I’ve

  seen elders upset and badger the congregation because no one put there hand up

  to answer a question verbatim word for word from the publication. BS. Most peo-

  ple want it to hurry up and be over. Anybody under 10 yrs old is already asleep and

  the older ones don’t like to drive at night. I’m almost finished. The circuit servant

  visited a few months ago and told the members that their tues. night mid week

  attendance was horrible. Thanks for the fine encouragement I thought. He said to

  change it back to thurs night and attendance would increase back to the way it used

  to be before the members voted for tues night to be the mid week meeting night.

  So they voted to change back. So close was the vote they had to recount the votes

  several times. Surprise surprise. My wife tells me the attendance looks the same

  except people appear to be more tired because they have been working all week.

  I have more to say but I’ll cut this off for the time being.
• 

  jp1692

  BD: The circuit servant visited a few months ago and told the members that their tues. night mid week attendance was horrible. Thanks for the fine encouragement I thought. He said to change it back to thurs night and attendance would increase back to the way it used to be before the members voted for tues night to be.

  Rearranging furniture on the deck of the Titanic would have been more meaningful.

  It’s hard to know what to say in response to your post other than this: I appreciate the mixed emotions and conflicting feelings you expressed in your stream of consciousness post. Thank you for sharing.

  Oh, and this. Let’s review: It’s a cult!
• 

  smiddy3

  Bd if your post is typical of what is happening in KH`s all over the Country/World while on the one hand it is sad on the other hand it is good news ,why ? because it shows dissatisfaction with the religion low attendance unhappy people that do attend poor FS participation and just a general feeling of poor morale .

  Certainly shows in my mind that a reasonable percentage will leave the religion

  The CO`s visit browbeating the cong. for low attendance was telling ,don`t give them a carrot beat them with a stick.

  In other words don`t offer the cong. healthful words of encouragement in a loving manner but whip them into submission with a big stick.
• 

  Incognito

  In other words don`t offer the cong. healthful words of encouragement in a loving manner but whip them into submission with a big stick.
  

  WT's unwritten moto: The beatings will not stop until morale improves.
• 

  charonsdog

  I recall several BOE meetings where the PO would assign the local needs part to be about meeting attendance. Over and over and over. Meeting attendance. Why is our meeting attendance down?

  I proffered that our meetings were boring. The ones who don't come weren't likely to hear the local needs part about needing to be there, and the ones who faithfully showed up were probably sick and tired of hearing the same browbeating about the need to be there. I suggested that instead of handwringing about the fact that people were missing, we should be giving them a reason to want to show up. And hey, how about personal visits? Not to go tell them that they need to be at the meetings. But to go check on them and see what it was THEY needed.

  I was shot down. Nope. We're gonna keep harping on meeting attendance.

  And why was meeting attendance so important to the BOE? Because the CO would be knocking the heads of the service committee if the numbers weren't good. Why? Because he wanted to look good in front of his boss, of course. Even if it wasn't a pack of lies and misinterpretations, there wasn't any real love in the congregations. If there was, then there probably wouldn't be such a problem with getting people to come.
• 

  scratchme1010

  Several widows there who seem to have no life in them and then all the other drones who are hanging on for dear life hoping, just hoping they can endure to the end of their natural life so maybe, just maybe they can make it back in the resurrection. A lot of people look unhappy and physically in pain and they drag themselves to the Hall because it’s so much better to be there instead of listening on the phone don’t you know. I’ve seen elders upset and badger the congregation because no one put there hand up to answer a question verbatim word for word from the publication.
  

  I know you feel for your wife in that respect. However, that's her choice and she is fortunate to have you as a reminder of her having other choices.

  The part of your post that I quoted makes me very sad, knowing of people submitting themselves to all that nonsense for nothing is just horrible.

  We are fortunate of not being part of that anymore. Our freedom from that is cause for celebration.
• 

  steve2

  Married almost 50 years and you say your wife is 100% in the organization. Wow! I'm always in awe of couples who have been married so long!

  It seems healthy to accept each other as you are.

  Your description of "life" in the hall shows that you are no fool and a sound thinker. I've heard others say that mid-week attendance is appalling in some areas. Remember when JWs criticised other religions' poor attendance?
  
• 

  Finkelstein

  That’s her faith to believe and do what she wants to do with it.

  Sounds like you have true and honest love and acceptance of your wife .

  Some of that attachment JWS make is done out of social interaction, a purpose or a identity.

  The mantra is set that living the JWS life is good or spiritually righteous.

  Like social guidance to create something better than the norm.
  
• 

  Bigdummy

  About 20 yrs ago our book study group met at the Hall. I liked meeting

  there instead of a home. I had been in some home meetings some good

  some brutal. We had in the high 40’s assigned there but the actual atten-

  dance was less than half of that. I think some people asked to be in the

  group so that if they missed maybe no one would notice since there was

  usually 18-20 that could answer the questions. The conductor stated one

  time “you know why so many aren’t here tonight?” Obvious answer to me

  was people have different problems. Got home late from work, car broke

  dowm, relatives from out of town or across town showed up unexpected-

  ly that you hadn’t seen in years. It could have been a multitude of things

  because all people have problems. Nobody answered because I think it

  was a rhetorical question. Well here comes the answer. “It’s because they

  don’t appreciate spiritual things.” Now this was at least 25 yrs ago. It was
  

  just around the time I was starting to get irked with the whole jw thing. I

  remember it was in the dead of winter and I thought I would ask a simple

  question of the conductor after the meeting. I asked him how he came to

  the conclusion that the absentees had no appreciation of spiritual things?

  I said it’s the dead of winter and it’s flu season. It’s freezing outside and

  we had a lot of little ones in the congregation at the time. Is it possible that

  a lot are sick? He looked kind of sheepish there for a second and said he

  hadn’t thought about that. That was about all I said at the time because

  he was an elder and I was peon. But it struck me odd for one thing that

  he would make a statement like that and then not consider all the possi-

  bites that could have been considered for people not being there. But that

  is pretty harsh I thought to be a shepherd and say the sheep aren’t here be-

  cause they don’t appreciate what’s being provided. I’ve never been a MS

  or elder but if my sheep are missing I think I would sincerely try and find

  them and see what’s going on. Not degrade them or berate them but show

  them I really cared. I don’t believe all shepherds are that way but I’ve seen

  a lot worse. Never cared to be over anyone nor cared anything about tell-

  ing people what to do. It’s not my nature. My dad and brother were in

  supervision at their jobs and I was a warehouse worker at my place of em-

  ployment. Union trade. Although now I drive a school bus and in charge of

  the kids it’s not the same for me being over them. It’s more like protecting

  them, being a nurse to them ( bandaids for cuts) custodian ( throw ups)

  referee ( squabbles , fights etc ). Best job I ever had. You know I’ve heard

  from the platform worldly kids are bad, out of control always running to do

  something wrong or evil. Not so. Yes there are a few but the percentage is

  low in my experience. Probably just as low as in jw land. In fact had a jw

  kid spit on me one time. He had some social problems but it was a non

  issue for me after a day or two. Everybody has their moments. So anyway,

  long story short if the leaders and higher ups were truly loving and I mean

  in a real sense, I could look over some flaws in doctrine, have a real broth-

  erhood where people honestly cared for each other instead of this fake love

  where people are scared to say anything because they may end up in the

  backroom. I need to quit dreaming.