I understand the feeling and situation. I was there and am swiftly headed back. Not to derail your post by any means.....Maybe it will make you feel better, idk.
When the 2008 recession hit I lost a land deal I had 10,000 invested in plus labor @ min wage (as a low ball figure to work with) easily another 10,000.
I too had my own business, a luxury service that dried up. Not to mention I worked at night two different restaurants alternating days.
In one week the land deal gone, my business, and both my other jobs.
Many businesses just closed. Like now. I was really connected in the art scene at the time and was quite the net worker. So I rounded up over 100 artist and threw 3 of the largest private silent auctions this area ever had, to help save two iconic and cornerstone businesses in town. It raised enough money to keep them both afloat for the next year. I housed several people and couples with kids for a while. Free no strings attached ever.
The crap icing on the cake was when I needed the help (literally a place to park my truck and camper) I was turned down by the very people I helped with housing. That drove the final nail in my coffin and I went crazy. Literally. The way I saw supposed friends back stab each other and me made me shut off. I probably will never fully trust another human again. Nor will I help one damn business stay afloat. I learned my lesson. I'll keep my eyes out for decent beings I just wont bank on it.
I survived because,well honestly I don't know how I did. I moved in the mountains. I was already living off the grid. It was a posh off the grid setting. Solar, backup deepcell batteries, generator, grey water system, fresh water delivered, propane for cooking, wood stove and internet due to the only "on the grid thing" I had a phone line. Oh and cell phone. (before smart phones). So I had some off grid experience just not Totally Off. So I moved deep in the mountains and just came in to town when I had a doc appointment and got groceries then. Man was I broken. And stayed that way for long time. Until recently, now this.
I plan on moving back into the mountains shortly. I don't want to but I may not have many options. Its the only skill that I have that others or at least 99% of people cant take from me, mimic or even actually do with out freaking out a few days in. I'm already scoping the next years worth of spots. The only real reason I have a storage is to keep those 'mountain supplies' just in case.Glad I didn't listen to people telling me that I don't need that stuff. Not sure about surviving this one but its more the initial shock for the first couple weeks in the mountains. Once that part is over it goes more smoothly. Also I expect I'll have at least some consulting work from my "Off the grid" consulting business. No guarantees.
Again, I didn't mean nor was it my intention to derail your post.
I just wanted you to know if I could go through that alone. You can get through this.
Stan-how can you be expected to pay alimoney if you have no cash or income ? half of nothing--is nothing.
The states will stop at nothing. They don't care AT.ALL. It will just rack up if not paid. Unless the person receiving it is really understanding and commits to going back to court to amend it. It happens but not likely. Its a broken system. Unfair and unjust.
New Boy/ Keith- I made some really crappy financial decisions last year when I was in full on grief mode. In hindsight I have no regrets barring one (which I refuse to discuss).
I like that Chinese proverb.
I like this one too- -“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
The only thing I really wanted from life anyway, was adventure. Wish granted! lol