On Grief and Loss

by jp1692 10 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jp1692

    On Grief and Loss

    Each and every tear is a memory. And when you feel so intensely all that you have lost, you are also remembering everything that you have had.

    And that is beautiful …


  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Well put, jp:

    Yesterday, I told a friend that I have finally received a balance -- a perspective -- in my emotional outlook, one tempered by reason and logic. I am saddened by loss but no longer consumed by the attendant grief. There have been so many blessings.


  • jp1692


    To be able to feel sadness and pain without either being consumed or incapacitated by it is in itself an achievement.

    It is, I have learned, a measure of our progress and growth. A marker along the pathway to healing.


  • compound complex
    compound complex

    I am always heartened, jp, when a well-expressed thought carries a sufficient emotional content of empathy and caring so as to touch the heart.

    You succeed.

  • Sail Away
    Sail Away

    Thank you, jp

  • Moster

    If there was a "" button I would have clicked it. Your words warm my heart JP. Thank you.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    I think I got that card when my dad died last month. Its a nice sentiment, thanks.

    When you lose someone so close that they have been a part of you, there are more complicated issues than lovely aphorisms can address, though they have their part in retraining the brain and heart to desensitize.

    It isn't simply the memories that are involved, there is the ingrained expectation of interaction. The little things you think to share because your mind hasn't come to terms with the permanence of the loss. If one more person says "At least he isn't in any more pain" or "He's in a better place" I will probably barf on them.

    Its not the sadness or pain, its the hole blown in your life that must be filled. Only time will do that.

  • Good JW
    Good JW

    Thank you JP.

    I have often wondered what the best course is for a person who's lost another in death - my dad died when I was 28 and I kind of buried the feelings. I thought of grief as something one must just "get over", but it doesn't work that way, nor should it be...as you've so poetically put it. The grief tags along with memories etc, something to experience rather than hide or run from.

  • JRK


    Yes, it is beautiful. I refer to it as "exquisite pain."

    Lou Reed has one of my favorite songs called Magic & Loss describing succinctly that juxtaposition:



  • JRK


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