fun with scriptures

by sowhatnow 0 Replies latest social humour

  • sowhatnow
    sowhatnow

    An alternative to becoming ‘shit faced’...

    Malachi 2:1-4: And now, O ye priests, this commandment is for you. If you will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart to give glory to my name, ... behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces.

    biblical flasher warning...

    exodus 20: 26 And do not go up to my altar on steps, or your private parts may be exposed.’

    TO BE OR NOT TO BE afraid,

    20 Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.

    Moses did not have his face covered when he spoke to the Israelites ...or did he?
    or was it only when he was talking?


    But when Moses would go in before Jehovah to speak with him, he would take off the veil until he went out.+


    when he came out....? was his face covered? no ... yes?

    35. And the Israelites saw that the skin of Moses’ face emitted rays; then Moses put the veil back over his face until he went in to speak with God.*+

    ok, so he put the veil on as he passed through the door, im confused!

    and god was in the tent.... yes he was...

    Leviticus 1 : 1 The Lord called to Moses and spoke to him from the tent of meeting....

    and in case you were wondering what to do with all those un redeemed donkeys and firstborn sons...

    ch 34 of exodus...
    19 “Every firstborn male* is mine,+ including all your livestock, whether the first male bull or sheep.+ 20 The firstling of a donkey you are to redeem with a sheep. But if you do not redeem it, then you must break its neck. You are to redeem every firstborn of your sons.+ No one may appear before me empty-handed.

    where we get ideas for horror movies....


    Leviticus 1;5 5 You are to slaughter the young bull before the Lord, and then Aaron’s sons the priests shall bring the blood and splash it against the sides of the altar at the entrance to the tent of meeting. 6 You are to skin the burnt offering and cut it into pieces. 7 The sons of Aaron the priest are to put fire on the altar and arrange wood on the fire. 8 Then Aaron’s sons the priests shall arrange the pieces, including the head and the fat, on the wood that is burning on the altar. 9 You are to wash the internal organs and the legs with water, and the priest is to burn all of it on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the Lord.

    and god loved to eat smoked bull...

    The priest shall bring it to the altar, wring off the head and burn it on the altar; its blood shall be drained out on the side of the altar. 16 He is to remove the crop and the feathers[a] and throw them down east of the altar where the ashes are. 17 He shall tear it open by the wings, not dividing it completely, and then the priest shall burn it on the wood that is burning on the altar.

    and just repetition for emphasis...
    9 You are to wash the internal organs and the legs with water, and the priest is to burn all of it on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the Lord.


    13 You are to wash the internal organs and the legs with water, and the priest is to bring all of them and burn them on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the Lord.


    [17] and then the priest shall burn it on the wood that is burning on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the Lord.

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