Never give up!

by stuckinarut2 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Etude
    Etude

    Thanks for your good and kind words, stuckinarut2. I always hoped that as time goes by there'd be a greater chance that my family would discover their errors. However, I find it hard to be hopeful. I think people settle and would rather overlook problems in their belief system for fear of being being left with "nothing" (in their perception). I would rather be pleasantly surprised if I hear from one of them or even from old friends that they have abandoned the cult. For now, they are totally lost to me.

    Etude.

  • jp1692
    jp1692

    Etude, you expressed my thoughts and feelings exactly!

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Thanks for your lovely replies everyone!

    I learned so much from everyone here over the years, and one point especially stood out:

    If we want our loved ones to wake up, we need to casually bring in alternative fun activities to our lives. They need to see that life can be full, rich and enjoyable outside of the witness bubble. They need to expand from their narrow witness-mindset view of the world.

    Slowly suggest doing something fun on a Sunday morning that breaks the routine. Go for a nice breakfast somewhere, a nice drive or walk....

    Gently challenge the biased thinking styles and viewpoints ....

    Dont force things....

  • LV101
    LV101

    Good advice, stuck, and I appreciate your positive attitude.

    Once in awhile something great happens with the brainwashed so hope springs eternal.

  • Unstuck
    Unstuck

    Hi all - stuckinarut2's other half here.

    Thank you everyone for your very kind words and thoughts - feeling the love here on the other side of the planet!

    Um - I add my words to stuck's, my first thought is for those who don't have their nearest and dearest by their side, or who have been shunned by those closest to them because you now see the "truth" for what it is - a big pile of stinking lies! I feel and share your pain - we now have aunts, sister and cousins shunning us just because we are inactive (let alone awake!). But I am grateful each day that I have my closest with me in this journey to support me and discuss things with - with no judgment but true freedom of expression and thought. It is truly a beautiful thing.

    Eyeuseto2badub - you said: "I think that the most significant thing is that she has seen me transfer from being an uptight, always worried, seldom happy, constantly busy with 'theocratic' activities, no fun elder, circuit assembly speaker, life time jw to now being a much happier, not too serious, content, fun loving, having time for my hobbies, non critical of others, non judgmental regular human being."

    Yes, yes, yes!! That was one of the things that impressed me the most with stuck. Everything was blowing up around us, the cong was either ignoring him, or elders were pressuring to "meet", I wasn't sure which way was up, but I couldn't help but notice that he was so much happier, less stressed, more relaxed and easy-going and I wasn't the only one to notice the improvement. He allowed me to question him and he didn't judge my responses (even though some of these, I'm ashamed to say now, were very in-JW speak) - he didn't react emotionally to that, he let me say what I needed to and listened as I processed where he was now up to.

    I'm an all or nothing kinda girl. So when I was a JW I was all-the-way-JW. I can well understand why Stuck didn't share his doubts and questions with me when he first started having them - I was still too-in. But he showed incredible patience with me, and he allowed me the time I needed to stop feeling guilty as my meeting attendance started to drop. He created an environment at home that was entirely judgement free which subtly let me relax! And not always be on! These things helped tremendously.

    I hope that these thoughts and comments help someone else in a similar situation. Just keep showing unconditional love (a bit of a foreign concept for JWs) and be consistent in listening to your loved one, allow them to express themselves and support them as they process and think it all through. I sincerely hope that your efforts result in freeing others from JW bondage.

    Love and light to all. Mwah!

    Unstuck

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Awww shucks Unstuck!
    Lovely comments. Thankyou.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Definitely "Don't Give Up" (haha -- new Reg Conv theme)

    The process of waking up can be gradual and slow. You may be surprised what is going on in someone's thought process. Seldom is it a sudden "revelation".

    https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/265170004/my-wife-referred-jws-cult

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Nice comment DoC!

    Yes, I thought of a Convention Theme when I started this thread. haha...

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